The First Month.

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In My first month I have learnt so much about myself. How I have the power to drag myself out of bed at 7am every morning. Easy for most but not for a lazy person! I am a good Kick boxer when I’m not injured, How to try and not trust everyone I meet and how to learn from mistakes. Some of these things might not have been learnt necessarily from Thailand but mostly during my time here it is really giving me the motivation to take a good look at the world I used to live in. I’m Learning to not be afraid to come clean and just admit my mistakes and try my very best to learn and do what I can to make them right. I spent my whole life trying to be someone I’m not, the drink, the drugs; the tattoo’s that barely mean anything to me. I really have realized the life I was living wasn’t the one I dreamed of having. I always wanted to be a family man and the works and looking back I really think that “how on earth could I have ever considered that with the things I was doing.” It was a dream...all a dream. I know a lot of people say “your only 22, your still young and have so much time” WRONG!!! When is the right time to learn from your mistakes? As soon as make them? What age is it ok to change your ways? There is none. People know what is right and what is wrong it’s what path they chose to take. All of it is making the right decisions for yourself and also taking into account how they affect the people you love. All these things have led me to believe that I really haven’t given a toss about anyone but myself.....All this time. I really thought that what I was doing was acceptable and not thinking how it would affect my future. It was always “tomorrow”. Well Tomorrow has come and I am starting again I am asking for forgiveness and will spend the rest of my life making up for the time I could have been doing something so caring and helpful. I dedicate my life to people and will always lend a hand and share some love. Some people say there is a limit to love but I really think you can make a difference by showing anyone some love and being kind. Kick boxing isn’t just teaching me to be able to hurt people it is teaching me to protect myself and learn self control, how to look after yourself, how to push yourself, how to help someone to push themselves and most of all learn from your mistakes. What is hard to recover from is knowing what I have done and dealing with the guilt and regret, I just want to make things right again and I am afraid to do it with a smile in case people think I do not care about the situations but still doing things with effort and with a smile can still prove that you care. I do love being here and I still have a lot to learn. This is the beginning of my new life.....A life without Lie, a life without regret, a life where I can follow through on promises and be proud of myself for being able to make someone smile. I am going to go back to school and retake my GCSE’s and I’m not afraid to say I screwed up the first time because I decided doing absolutely nothing with my day was better than learning. I am going to be the person I should have been a long time ago. I know this is more like a journal entry instead of a good old fashioned blog but I just really wanted to get this off my chest and it gets boring telling you how many kicks I’ve done. If you really want to know I have been doing 4,200 kicks a week and that is just on the bag! I really do love my training and it making me stronger on the inside as well as on the outside. I will be getting a scooter this week and will be taking lots of trips around the Island to see every inch possible. And I will also be taking many photos. Please if you ever want to talk to me normally and ask any questions you can always just send me a message. My Facebook is usually on 24/7. Thank you to everyone especially to the people who are helping me realise that I can be what I have dreamed of. I love you all. xxx

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