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Published: October 15th 2011
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Jai Yen (Cool Heart)
Sa-wa-dee kup from Phuket! (Poo-ket) One of the first things I promised everyone back home I would do is write about what is happening here while I am away. It is Tuesday, October 11th and I have been here in Thailand now for about ten days.
When I decided to set up a blog I had to think of a name. I wanted something that was Thai to represent my new home away from home, but I also wanted a name that meant something personal to me. I settled with the Thai word jai-yen meaning "cool heart," in english. Though this phrase might be taken to represent someone who is rather cold (we often speak of a kind person having a "warm heart," and a "cool" or "cold" heart meaning the opposite) in Thailand this phrase is quite different.
One of the first sayings I was introduced to when learning about the people and culture in Thailand was "mai bpen rai" a saying that roughly translates to "no big deal," "it's alright," or "everything is good." However here in Thailand this is more than just a saying. It permeates Thai society at all levels,
and a westerner cannot even begin to engage with Thai culture without a deeper understanding of this concept.
For Thais, possessing jai-yen, a "cool heart" is absolutely essential to maintaining social harmony, one of the primary fabrics weaving Thai society together. To have jai-ren means to be forgiving, to accept life as it comes to you, to stay calm, smile, and above all else, to learn patience. This runs in sharp contrast to a person who lives with jai-rawn or a "hot heart." Jai-rawn means to be impatient, quick to anger, emotionally unstable and easily provoked.
In Phuket, taxi drivers lounge in the shade of their small wooden shelters, smiling and waving as you pass by (even if it is the fifth time that day). Nearly everyone you pass smiles, dips their head slightly (as a show of mutual respect) or greets you in the traditional manner ("sawadee kap", with hands held together in a prayer position). You will find it nearly impossible to find a stranger on the street who is not smiling, and they will likely try to engage with you playfully in english, taking absolute delight if you can respond back in some Thai.
Tara and Dan
For three weeks, we get to call this home! On my second day here one of the street cart vendors was so joyful when she asked me how I was "Sabaidee mai?" and I answered "Sabaidee," meaning "well," that she dropped the price of a large water from 20 baht (roughly 60 cents US) to 10 baht (roughly 30 cents US). "Aaaaa okay, 10 baht for you!" The first group of Thai students we met on the street were so happy to meet us that they ran up with little notebooks and asked us to write our names and a message in english for them, showing us their english speaking skills, and smiling in awe as we replied with some rudimentary Thai. My first night at the "Reggae Bar," I asked if I could shoot a game of pool, only to have the smiling Thai players absolutly insist that I cut ahead and play in the game they were about to start. Our first trip to the local Mexican restaurant (operated by a Thai woman) she made sure we took a bite and sip of everything we ordered, offering to redo anything not quite to our liking. Her joy seemed to completely overflow her body everytime we replied that
The Local Wat
"Wat" is the word for a Buddhist temple. This is the local Wat for Nai Harn Beach the food was "a-roi" (delicious). In fact, when we first walked in our friend Amanda had an open beer. When the woman spooted her holding it under the table she reached under, grabbed it with a big smile, set it on the table and then reappeared with a frosted mug, proceeding to pour it in!
For Thais, this friendly joyful approach to strangers is deeply rooted in their culture and society. All social interaction is rooted in the concept of social harmony and "saving face." To simplify a very complex social process, when a Thai is friendly, warm, open, kind, willing to share or help another in need, they "gain face." In America, if someone is saying something that isn't true, we often want to correct them, to show them that we are right. In Thailand, this is a quick way to "lose face." A person loses face when they act angry or impatient in a stressful situation, when they are unkind, or when they speak poorly of others. In fact, if someone speaks poorly or wrongs you in Thailand, and you smile and respond with jai-yen, and say "mai bpen rai," you will instantly gain face with the
Tuk Tuk
This is how you get around in Thailand. picture a long pickup truck with a roof and some benches screwed in. About 500 baht ($15) gets a truck load of people where they need to go. Thais while your antagonizer loses face. This is one of the many strange (from a western perspective) and complex "rules" governing Thai social interactions, a culture shock of sorts, but a welcome and refreshing one!
As I continue to immerse myself in Thai culture I will continue to practice living with a "cool heart." I hope some of you back home may read about this and try to do the same. I am now about to head out with some of the other ATI students to get some dinner. It is absolutly pouring outside and I did not pack any rain gear. Mai bpen rai!
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Diana
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Wonderful Dan. You are an amazing teacher, with us. I love learning of the culture of the Thai people and there view of the world. Please keep informing us. I myself would love to see pictures of you two with some Thai people/children.