Chapter 9: The Islands

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Our adventures through sand and sun kicked off on Koh Samet, a small peaceful island in the eastern gulf where many Thai people from Bangkok and surrounding areas vacation on weekends. It was our perogative to burn six days or so before picking up Katie in Bangkok.

So we set up shop at the Sea Breeze guesthouse and proceeded to do absolutely nothing for six days. Actually, we did do a little diving the second day, and some kayaking the fourth day, but other than that, our week was spent within a 200 yard radius between our guesthouse and the Naga Bar.

Tangent: I don't think I've elaborated on this yet, so please allow me to introduce the coolest creature on earth--the naga. Wikipedia claims a naga is a mythical creature in Asian folklore which resembles a dragon or serpent. This would explain the Asian infatuation with dragons that appears as rampant both here and in the states as the white-trash adulation for NASCAR. However, because Wikipedia is an open source, its definition of a naga is flawed. That mofo ain't mythical! I've seen him! Or her, rather. You see, in 1973, US military forces stationed at the Laos Military base captured the "Queen Naga", a monstrous 7.80 meter long slithery serpent dwelling in the Mekong River (and to think we floated down that river for two straight days). I've seen the photo of our military men's capture with mine own eyes. It looks like the would-be offspring if a giant eel with elephantitis impregnated a seahorse the size of a goat. I mean this thing was f-ugly! I've watched a lot of Discovery Chanel in my day, and never once have I seen such an animal as this "Queen Naga."

Long story short, the naga is my new favorite animal and everything in SE Asia is named after it. Hence, Naga Bar (which is also a guesthouse). Anyway, we spent plenty of our time in Koh Samet at the bar chatting with other falangs and mingling with the locals. We made a handful of new friends, from Noi and Genghis who ran the bar, to Stephanie, Sara, Dara and Richeal, a lovely bunch of ladies living abroad on a nearby island, ridding the world of poverty one Thai child at a time. We pretty much hung out at the Naga Bar until 4am for four straight nights. We could have left earlier, but I got so caught up beating Mykal's ass in pool that I lost track of time.

When not imbibing at the Naga Bar, we spent our days lounging on the beach playing cards and backgammon. All in all, an amazing time (although the diving was definitely sub-par), until the day before we left, when a slight hangover metamorphosized into the worst sun sickness/dehydration I've ever experienced. I've never felt such piercing pain before. None of the three broken bones nor any previous sickness could compare. A couple days and gatorades later though, and I was as good as gravy. Goodbye Koh Samet, hello Katie. And Koh Tao here we come!

It was unlike any island I'd visited. It was heaven on earth. Paradise found. A dreamer's dream. Koh Tao (Turtle Island) is a diver's mecca. It's a pint-sized island blanketed with Scuba shops. With rare exception, visitors here have one unified objective--swim with the sharks.

Most falang life flourishes on Sairee Beach, but we were told to stay at the Scuba Shack, a nice chill joint located on a more remote beach on the south side of the island. And it so happened that Cat, Andy and Jorick were staying there too. So after some reuniting small talk (including the story of how Jorick got stabbed straight through his finger by a Sea Urchin) and introducing them to Katie, we checked in and signed up for three straight days of diving (six dives all together).

The diving was great. Tons of parrot fish, hexagon groupers, angel fish, nudibranch, triggers, wrasse, a hawksbill turtle, etc. etc. But equally as captivating was the aura, the vibe, the overall experience of living at the Scuba Shack. It wasn't like your typical guesthouse. Everyone working/staying there was like one giant family. Honey and her husband (a Burmese couple) ran the restaurant and a Thai family (twin infants included) operated the massage hut. By the way, the massage I got from them was the best one of the whole trip. Then there were the divemasters, instructors and dive students. All very friendly and down-to-earth. Our divemaster was Gigi, a laid-back Frenchman who's been living in Koh Tao for the last two years.

Anyway, it's kind of difficult to explain, but living at the Scuba Shack was like home away from home. We didn't feel like falangs bouncing from beach party to beach party. It was like we belonged there. John and I even had daily afternoon games of keep-away with Molly, the Thai family's pet dog. Life at the Scuba Shack is so simple and relaxing it's addicting.

After Koh Tao, Koh Pangan. Two days of beach volleyball and late night parties. This is the sandy home of one of the world's single most famous festivities--the full moon party, a chaotic cacophony of music, lights, booze and bikinis. Unfortunately, due to timing issues, we just missed out on the full moon party. However, a regular ol' wednesday night party on the beach until dawn was rowdy enough for me. We did make it to the half moon party (another chaotic rave, but in the jungle rather than on the beach), but after a rough previous night, we were all too exhausted to boogie on reggae woman. Not to mention, none of us are ecstatic rave enthusiasts. Oh well, at least now we can check that one off the list.

Railey, the rock climbing capital of the world. Limestone giants looming over their reflection in a mirror of turquoise water and a beige beach. Only one day in Railey, but an adventurous one nonetheless. We scurried up a cliff of wet crimson clay and jagged rock to see a most stunning view of both East and West Railey Beach. After drooling at the gorgeous view for a few, John and I proceeded to descend 300 meters toward a completely enclosed lagoon. We met a couple climbers returning from the lagoon who said it was a vicious steep descent, but there is a rope. They said we were crazy for not wearning any shoes, but it would be conquerable still (although Mykal reported later that these same fellas told him we'd never make it). We later saw a sign at the head of the trail that also suggested against bare feet, but like I said, that was after the fact.

So we proceeded like true lagoon lovers would (with caution of course). And what a rush! Fear and adrenaline fighting in a muddy battle of clay, limestone and knotted twine. A slow, steady climb down led us to the pot of gold surrounded entirely by towers of tree-topped stone. We washed the mud off our skin and bathed in the still waters of our glory. After shouting a few echoes, we gave one last hoot and holler to leave our scent on this newly conquered territory. "TEXAS!", "FIGHT!". After paying homage to our beloved longhorn Bevo, John and I battled again, and defeated again, the burly, muddy mountainside as we ascended back to even ground.

After Railey, it was time to drop Katie off in Phuket so she could catch a flight back to western civilization. So with tears in our eyes and KFC in our hearts (literally, it clogs arteries) we waved goodbye and then spent the night in Patong, a nearby section of Phuket located on the beach.

Early the next morning we boated to Koh Phi Phi. Phi Phi is a beatiful little beach on the Andaman Coast. There are no roads for motorized vehicles. Only sidewalks where bicyclists weave in and out of pedestrian traffic. And unless you glance at some of the photos that fill the walls of many restaurants on the island, you'd never notice that Phi Phi was raped so violently just four short years ago by a devastating tsunami. Also, nearby Maya Beach is where the movie "The Beach" was filmed.

We spent two full days in Phi Phi. Day one, we went on a sunset island tour and snorkeled for an hour in the company of clown fish, trumpet fish, parrots, wrasse, clams, puffer fish, lion fish, etc. Day two, we dove. Nothing too crazy, but still fun dives. Two whale sharks were spotted a couple days before, but we had no such luck. Either way, it was hella fun. And we rented an underwater camera for the dives, so the experience is now enshrined forever in ink emulsion. All in all, Phi Phi was an awesome island in my opinion, but inundated a bit too much with western falangs. I do prefer the more relaxed atmosphere and local culture we found in Koh Tao.

From Phi Phi, we left our beloved Thailand for Malaysia. After a long day of traveling by bus, we crossed the border and waited overnight to ship out for the Perehntian Islands the next morning. In the process we picked up a new travel companion--Simon, a 26-year-old Kiwi who had no idea what kind of crap he was getting into by tagging along with a few Texans.

The Perehntian Islands were absolutely gorgeous--much less "touristy" than Thailand, so equally less polluted. However, I must say, upon entering Malaysia, we all felt a similar longing for Thailand, as the Malaysians we encountered were not nearly as loving as the Thais. But with that said, the beach was beyond beautiful. It was orgasmic!

We hung out for two days on the island and did a couple dives and some snorkeling. I only dove once (which was sub-par due to poor visibility) but John and Mykal said the second dive was sweet. However, I think we can all agree that the snorkeling was amazing! We saw turtles, black-tipped sharks, humphead parrot fish, a giant moray eel, a cuttlefish and plenty of the usual. Simply breathtaking. And that was that. Two days gone by like the wind.

And now I'm sitting in an internet cafe in Kuala Lumpur, waiting to head to the airport tomorrow morning at 730am. We've run out of gas and now must return to home base. I'm excited to get back to my friends and greasy, cheesy Tex-Mex, but just as sad at leaving the East behind. There is no doubt I will one day return.

So this is the final chapter. Es todo. Fin. The end. Although, I will try to feed you one final entry when I get home with some pictures from our island adventures. For now though, you'll just have to deal with text and white space because I can't upload all those photos now. So until then (or in case I don't ever upload those pics), thanks for reading! I hope you found it entertaining.

Keep on keepin' on.
-Marc-

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