Victoria Falls

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Geo: 7.7455, 98.7754

Going to Victoria Falls last winter was one of the most unforgettable travel experiences we have had, and it was so good that we went back there for a day trip today. So how exactly did we manage to travel all the way to Africa from Thailand, just for a single day? Well, it's because we went there only in my mind, in a feverish delusion, when today, I turned into Victoria Falls. Get it? If you did, I'm sure you didn't need that visual - hopefully you weren't having your morning cup of coffee while reading this, and if you were, didn't spurt it out of your nose!

I had a visit from an unwanted little friend named Campylobacter, a nastier little mofo than even our mugger in Phuket Town, he assaults over 50%!o(MISSING)f travelers to Thailand, according to anecdotal evidence. But Campy doesn't rob you, he brings along his gang and kicks the crap out of you, leaving you bloody, bruised, and delirious, slumped atop the toilet. So really, what was worse?

It' really tough to say - while the mugging had a potentially far worse outcome, it was over in a few minutes, whereas Campy kept taunting me through his seemingly-endless repeat visits. Campy and friends are those distant relatives that you can't stand, who keep showing up at your doorstep unannounced, hoping to crash at your place, and who never leave until they want to, no matter how hard you try to get rid of them.

As is typical of ours trips, we have a very tight itinerary once again, and there is very little time to do all of our planned activities, let alone deal with crap like this, pun intended. Luckily, we did plan for a full three nights in Ko Phi Phi, considered to be one of the jewels in Thailand's little empire of beautiful tropical islands, followed by one more night in Kata beach on the mainland, before departing for Singapore.

An expat working at one of Ko Phi Phi's numerous dive shops suggested to me that a stomach bug was going around town, and that it hits brutally for the first 24 hours, but that things quickly improve from there. So while we had to reschedule our snorkel tour that was booked for this afternoon, there was a chance that we'd be able to give it a go tomorrow, our last chance to see if Ko Phi Phi lives up to all the hype.

Truth be told, even with the stomach problems, fever, nausea, and general malaise, I would've given the snorkel tour a shot today, since I could just lie down on the boat and wrap myself in a blanket if the symptoms became overwhelming. However, there was one major problem that precluded that from happening - nearly all snorkel tours are conducted aboard a traditional Thai long tail boat, which while offering the neat little experience of riding in one of these great examples of Thai ingenuity, lacks a critical component for me - an on-board toilet!

The way these snorkel tours are run, you go from spot to spot and jump straight off the boat into the water, without ever stopping on land - so there's not even the option of going ashore to do your business. Doing number two is no doubt a mathematical conundrum that must be solved either before or after the tour, and it was basically implied to us that number one was a rather simple equation to solve - in the water ... and inside of our wetsuits ... eeeeeeeewwww!!!

Really, my reluctance to try the snorkel tour this afternoon wasn't even about my own comfort, but for the sake of the others on the tour. Can you imagine paying thousands of dollars to travel halfway around the World to Thailand, all for the once in a lifetime experience of snorkeling with the famed sea life in the Andaman Sea, only to have that experience completely ruined by another tourist?

Imagine the poor tour group, snorkeling in the beautiful blue waters of Thailand, wondering to themselves "Hmmm ... that's a very odd cloud of brown algae coming our way. And why are all the fish scattering? Wait, it's not algae ... it's ... noooooooooooooo!!!!" With the popularity of GoPro cameras nowadays, that incident would surely be captured on film, and quickly posted to YouTube - would anybody out there REALLY want to see that???

However, for all the negatives, I must admit that some good has come out of all of this - the adversity of dealing with this illness has brought us closer together. Obviously, by "us" I'm talking about myself and the toilet - although I've had daily interaction with Mr. Potty since I've been a small child, it's always been very businesslike, with our relationship almost as cold as porcelain. It's sad to say, but after all these years, we've never really gotten to know each other ... until today, when we finally seemed to understand each other after spending hours of quality time together, discovering a new found mutual respect in the process ...

Let's not forget to mention the crucial role that Mr. TP also played during this most difficult time - while Mr. Potty offered me support, so to speak, it was Mr. TP that tenderly caressed me all day long, stroking away my pain. Never before have I been touched so intimately, for so long, ever before in my life ...

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Photos

A Magical Trip to Victoria Falls ...
... in my delusional mind, decimated by liquid and electrolyte loss.

My Favourite Sight in Ko Phi Phi ...
... this was all I saw in Ko Phi Phi, for the better part of 36 hours.

My Favourite Appetizer in Ko Phi Phi ...
... Azithromycin, an antibiotic commonly prescribed to those who suffer from stomach problems in developing countries.

My Favourite Entree in Ko Phi Phi ...
... no deliciously-spicy Thai curries for me and my stomach, only a steady diet of saltines, juice, Gatorade, a bit of tropical fruit, and the odd treat like a chunk of banana bread.

Anna's Restaurant ...
... one of the top rated places in Ko Phi Phi, unfortunately we were stuck with only simple soups, and didn't sample anything too adventurous. Benita rather enjoyed this spicy creamy chicken soup. Feeling like crap, I barely even gave it a try.

Plain ...
... simple broth with some vegetables, chicken, and rice. Not hungry but needing sustenance, I could only manage to eat a few spoonfuls.