Northern Thailand

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Friday 10th June

Arrived into Chiang Rai to see most things have closed for low season and so jumped back on another bus to Chiang Mai.

Saturday 11th June

Chill out day

Sunday 12th June

At 8am we were taken to a market with a french canadian couple and snacked on lots of fresh mango, rambutans (yum!) and mangosteens (not yum, taste like sour strawberries) and also bought food for our 2 day trek.

We arrived at the waterfall and posed for photographs. It was cool but I'm kinda "waterfalled out!"
We were then driven to the hot springs. Stripped off and fell straight in. It was SENSATIONAL. My first bath in months!!!
I am known for being in the tub for a couple of hours and I easily could have stayed in the hot springs for the entire day.
However...another trek was calling so I unenthusiastically got redressed walking boots and all.
Literally took 10 paces from the hot spring and see a heater. Absolutely mortified! Michelle screaming "Whaaat?!" As if they had conned us and taken us to fake hot springs. We were severely unimpressed and it did nothing to enthuse us into our trek!
As Michelle continued to bellow "I knew Thailand wasn't known for it's hot-springs" we came to the real hotsprings bubbling away at over 220 degrees Celsius. Clearly it was a cooler!
We shut up.

We set off on the trek with the guide hacking at the trees to clear a path for us..not sure this is the path the villagers would use but it was good walking through the pretty countryside. Not quite as pretty as Sapa but still worth the effort.
We stopped at 2 villages before reaching our homestay. We had a gorgeous feast amongst the dogs, chickens, pigs and elephants before collapsing into bed. Literally collapsed...sleeping on the floor. Still definitely not the worst accommodation we've stayed in!

Monday 13th June

Woken up by something crawling over my feet. I initially panicked thinking it was a rat or some dirty chicken but it was a cat playing with a mouse. Much better.
Michelle kicked it out but it kept coming back...so she let it in her mosquito net and it nestled right in her sleeping bag.
Michelle is a Dorothy in the making!

After breakfast I bought some bananas to feed the elephants. They were going to need a good breakfast if they were going to carry us for an hour down the river.
I should have bought more as our elephant went rogue and kept charging off for more food on the river bank.
I sat on the head as we sashayed down the river...it was really cool and I loved it until I started to get motion sickness. Who gets motion sickness on an elephant?

We stopped on the river bank and the elephants then wondered off into the forest. It was a lovely programme where the elephants get to roam free when not required by the village.
Our bamboo raft then arrived and we trepedously climbed aboard. Immediately it began to sink so they added some more bamboo tubes and we were off.
The rafting was actually more like bamboo white water rafting. It was crazy; sometimes we had to sit down, sometimes stand, lean left, lean right all while getting absolutely soaked. We were on there for over an hour and are now officially trekked out!

Back into Chiang Mai we showered over a toilet before legging it to the station for the most luxurious train yet. The attendant sets up your bed for you, which has clean sheets, pillows and a curtain. Wahooooo! No one will be touching my feet at silly o'clock in the morning!
I had the best night sleep...clearly the rocking of the train now has a hypnotic effect on me!

Tuesday 14th June

Took a cab to Koh San road and found a grotty hotel for 400baht per night. After we'd paid I saw a sign that said "Thai lady 100baht" - that is about £2. I kept taking it down but it kept going back up.
GROSS- clearly we accidentally ended up in a brothel.

Michelle had warned me what to expect in regards to the sex industry in Bangkok but thankfully apart from the one sign I didn't see anything too horrific.

Feeling as if all our countryside treks and staying in gross places had removed our femininity we thought we'd have a truly girly day and go shopping and take advantage of the cheap pampering available in Thailand.

Shopping wasn't too successful, as I got yelled at for looking a her T-shirts..."get out my shop! You never buy. You just look look look! Get out!! Get out!"
She did get a mouthful back.

Thoroughly put off we went to a beauty salon.
Now let me be clear....Michelle and I are close but before we know we're on a table all exposed with curtains open practically looking at each other.
Laughing out heads off we both looked at each other as if to say "are they going to shut that curtain?"
When they didn't and a man walked past for his massage I jumped up and shut the curtain! We were giggling the whole way through!

This was nothing compared to the massages. Mine was a little close for comfort at times but Michelle's is a whole different story...I'll leave her to explain more but it was definitely heading towards a happy massage!!!!! 😱 😱 LOL!

Met Cheryl and Alice for a goodbye dinner and a wonder around the street markets as they were both heading home that night and we headed back to our brothel!

Wednesday 15th June

Walked to the royal palace which astounded me. My photographs don't really do it justice. All the colours just pop at you and it wipes the floor with anything in China! You can see why the place was full of Chinese tourists!
I had to rent an old man's work shirt to cover my elbows...it didn't fit properly so really didn't have anything covered. Then explored for an hour or two before walking over to the world's largest leaning Buddha.
It's pretty big!

Then jumped in a cab to the MBK mall. This place has everything and yet we actually spent our money on two extra large salads. Never enjoyed lettuce so much in my life. Anything but rice and noodles!

We got the bus at 6pm to go south to Koh Phangan. Buses are always an experience but being dumped at the port at 3am and having to sleep on the smelliest floor was still a new one!
The boat trip was meant to be 2 hours but it took 5 and as always I threw up the entire way.

Thursday 16th June - Full Moon Party!!

Arriving on the island we realised we'd accidentally booked a beach side bungalow at the other side of the island. It was beautiful, so secluded and for the most part we had it to ourselves. Perfect for me to recover from the horrific boat journey. I slept on the beach the entire day and then got ready for the Full Moon Party.
Then as we're about to step out the door the taxi driver turns up to say we aren't going by car, taxi boat instead!
Protest we did, but somehow we ended up (with drinks) on a long tail boat.
As we approached it really did look amazing. Ten thousand people partying on the beach all covered in glow paint wearing glow in the dark full moon clothes.
We had the obligatory flower paintings and the lethal buckets and danced the night away. Well until Greece Lightening and Barbie Girl came on.
Certainly enough to sober you up. The more we explored, the more we realised it is actually pretty gross. At one point we watched a couple go out to sea to get it on with about 15 men relieving themselves around them. There was also a boy completely passed out so much so that it took 5 of us to pull him over and bring him back to consciousness. There is also a "sleep it off" area.

We then had to pay for a taxi which cost more than the same distance in a black cab in London back to our bungalow. While we were waiting we were able to see a bit of Muay Thai as the tourists starting fighting with the locals. Classy.
I guess even I am too old for the full moon party!!

Friday 17th June

Day on the beach

Saturday 18th June

Day on the beach

Sunday 19th June

Moved to coco bungalows closer to the port. BIG mistake. The room we moved to didn't have a bathroom door so we were effectively peeing in the bedroom - kind of prison like.
Then there were the bugs! Best way to describe them as flying giant cockroaches the size of tea cups. Huge! We couldn't even lock them in the bathroom. The scenes that followed were hilarious; we were armed with walking boots, bug spray, toilet hose, a broom and a book and the bugs still wouldn't die!! Half an hour later we had exhausted ourselves (and swept the bugs outside) and vowed to leave the island on the next boat!

Fact: Bathrooms require toilet doors!

Much love x x

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Photos

Our lodgings
Believe it or not...definitely not the worst we have stayed in