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Published: February 13th 2007
It was an effortless ferry back to Ao Nang from Ko Lanta with occasional towers of cotton wool clouds drifting by like passing ships and we dropped anchor offshore and caught a longtail and foam padded tuk tuk back to KL House. Booking our Bus and Boat ticket to '
Ko Pha Ngan we nosed around the shops and stalls and took in the dispiriting sight of elderly Western men with solid rotund guts jumping onto scooters or dining with teenage Thai girls. It was all surprisingly brazen seeing them playing out these fantasies and we felt sad that the Thai girls felt the need to give themselves over to these charmless oafs... They should be with the cocky young waiters who for a living squeeze money out of the wealthy perverts.
Early doors the next day we were crammed into a huge truck which sounded like a Spitfire with about 40 others and roared over to the
Andaman Wave Master bus station in Krabi. Although on paper it was a short journey, predictably we stopped at 2pm at a shonky little restaurant so that we all could give money to its owners without choice in the matter. Having seen it
so many times Claire and I were wise to it and immediately protested that we would miss our ferry if we lunched for the scheduled 45 minutes but we were waved away Thai Style. Wearily sitting down and begrudgingly ordering drinks, only at our insistence did we again board the coach 1 hour later and travel the short distance to Surat Thani port where on arrival we grabbed our packs only to turn around and see the Ferry cast off and drift into the distance. Despite this trip throwing up many frustrating moments at no time have we lost our cool but when we were told the next ferry was in 3 hours time Claire and I spun around to our coach driver and launched into a volley of abuse about him, his colleagues and his turnip company. The driver didn't even look us in the eye as we called him a tucking fosser but instead jumped in his cab and sped off. Fuming and in disbelief that the company who make the journey everyday don't know or care about the ferry times we sat with 20 other bewildered travelers and faced up to the long wait. As anger turned
Thong Nai Pan beach
Soft sugar sand and palm shadowsto acceptance a tannoy announcement chimed a bing bong and said "Good afternoon losers, welcome to Screwville. We hope you enjoy your 3 hour wait, please make use of the Andaman wave Master restaurant at dockside." Of course the message was in Thai so we can't be sure of the translation but it might as well have said that.
As another coach which left Krabi before us arrived it became almost amusing and deciding beer was the only remedy we proceeded to numb the pain sinking several cans of Chang and getting to know the travellers around us. Boy did it work! Within no time we had knocked up a decent kinship with Jeannine and Katie from Seattle, David from Halifax and Carlo from Italy and the 6 of us accepted our fate in impressive style by having a whale of a time joking, listening to music and necking Changs. By the time the sun had set behind a hilltop Buddha and the ferry arrived we were weaving and dancing our way at the back of the queue listening on speakers to the Gorillaz and without a care in the World. Making ourselves a little party area on the
Massage on the beach
Claire taking a pounding top deck of the ferry we spent the 3 hour crossing dancing and having a blast with our new friends. Arranging to meet up for the impending full moon party we separated on arrival in Thong Sala and Claire and I jumped into the back of a pick up to
Hat Yao beach. As it turned out it wasn't Hat Yao but somewhere further south but happily (giggly) we took the bungalow and walked with bags to the grotty bungalow albeit via a sidetrip to the floor for me. Some 12 hours after leaving Ao Nang (the same as our epic Bangkok to Siem Reap journey) we hit the suspiciously stained sack.
Waking up with daggers in our eyes and a sense that a cat may have slept on our tongues during the night we cold showered, ate a medicinal bacon butty and checked out to walk the alleged half kilometer north to
Hat Yao. It would have been a half K if you were to tunnel but in the baking heat we had to settle for several grueling hill climbs before wearily settling on Seabaord Bungalows where for 300 Baht we had a bungalow 15 meters from the
The full moon crew
Clockwise, Claire, Kevin, David, Carlo, Katie and Jeannine sea. By the time we checked in the heat was so intense that my eyebrows, YES even MY eyebrows were helpless in providing a barrier to the dripping sweat. Spending a lovely day on the sweeping bay of white sand and palm fringed shore we strolled in the afternoon to make some calls to cancel 2 of our flights and ended up having a bit of a nightmare. Despite several shops having signs out front offering calls, domestic and International, when entered the staff refused to help and one even refused to believe that the sign outside said you could make calls! Eventually we returned to one who had already declined to help and she led us to an internet room with a Telephone! It was all very bizarre but it turned out that Cathay Pacific whose flights we wanted to cancel couldn't help because it was a British Airways ticket and BA wouldn't help because they can't see Cathay's systems! As we tried to email our tickets through the server crashed and then another some walk down the beach also crashed at the crucial point. Sensing it was one of those moments where nothing was going to go right
we gave up to sit on the beach and watch the silver lined sunset. As it was nearing full moon the bright lunar light illuminated huge domineering clouds so that the sky looked like a Friesian Cow and the moon when covered looked like a stage spotlight through dry ice.
Another unenventful but thoroughly relaxing day on the beach with Claire lapping up a Thai Massage on the beach and we headed up the hill to Absolute Island for dinner and where a strong wind picked up and whistled through the restaurant. Back at our hut and well on the way to sleep we realised we'd forgotten to take our Malaria tablets and I had to make a moonlit dash for some Ice Cream to wash them down but was frozen still by the amazing shadows which were so defined it could easily have been daytime. Shortly after putting our heads down however, rain began to batter the roof of our hut and it just didn't stop. It being the day of the full moon we had planned to hire a scooter to travel to Haad Rin but the torrential rain had us sitting around and wondering just where
the thick blanket of unstoppable rain had appeared from. A few guys were launching themselves on girly lilos into the larger than ever surf and as we sat reading everything we owned the rain flattened the sea so it became a dark Grey and mottled soup. Eventually we had no choice but to borrow two ridiculous ponchos, mine a bright fisherman orange which fell to my ankles and Claire's a fluorescent pink and jumped aboard the sopping seat to ride south. Through vast floods, past huge stockpiles of Coconuts and the Poo herb massage whatever that was, we flung ourselves up and down a series of Postman Pat hills before finally descending to
Haad Rin, a rathy grotty mini Ko San Road which smothered a would be beautiful peninsula.
Trying frantically to resolve our cancellation of flights we eventually after broken PC's, faxes, a power cut and a succession of poor service experiences we managed to get the information to Cathay Pacific for them to process and in between spouts of torrential rain dashed between shops to browse and waste time. On the way down to Paradise Bungalows to meet our friends from the ferry crossing we witnessed the
foul site of a middle aged lady climbing onto the back of a scooter wearing a see through poncho and toothfloss thong. Down on the beach which in the squalling weather resembled Newquay Cornwall rather than anything tropical we waited for a while among the huge sound systems being erected before meeting with Jeannine, Katie, Carlo and David for some celebratory drinks and a bite to eat. In high spirits we strolled along the long and filling beach to Mountain bar for yet more drinks as the threat of distant storms loomed ever closer. To our delight, the storms abated and on the walk back through the now thousands of revellers the full moon (as it turned out it was just after full owing to the event being banned on the religious occasion) kindly made an appearance and added to our sense of joy of the occasion. The beach by now was nothing short of mayhem and in the wild atmosphere, Katie having never done so before done a pretty good job of firedancing (albeit burning her face in the process) and we entered a pounding techno bar where everyone had got a bit carried away with glow paint and
Katie Fire dancing
for the first time! smeared it all over their bodies and drug fuelled faces. The only drink available it seemed were buckets of Samsung Rum, Shark (like Red Bull) and coke so we bought one each, David purchased the 6 of us some ridiculous glow in the dark Dennis Taylor specs and from then on... well it all went a little crazy. Emotions ran high, Carlo let us down by letting his labido loose and Claire and I spent several hours lost and with little ability to walk, frantically trying to find eachother amid the chaos. A good night turned into a decidely awful one and as the sun rose and we realised how hammered and filthy we were we decided to leave the inebriated masses and somehow managed to make the journey back to our accomodation without incident.
The next day was a hangover day. Pure and simple. At some point we woke up, unashamedly noshed a monstrous but satisfying cheeseburger and returned again to bed.
The next morning to our surprise we still had a hangover but managed to pack up and climb aboard a pick up back to Thong Sala in order to travel to the very north of the Island and Thong Nai Pan beach. It wasn't exactly a smooth arrangement and the rain continued to fall but after bone shaking our way along a dreadfully soggy mountain track through thick jungle being smothered by low dense clouds we arrived at Thong Ta Pan resort to a beautiful if overpriced bungalow hid amongst the most incredible landscaped jungle setting. After dropping our belongings in the bungalow which stood discreetly apart from the others and up well rendered steps inlaid into huge bedrock boulders, we plonked ourselves on the spectacular beach, hired a boogie board and miraculously, the sun came out. It didn't last too long though. Watching a wall of grey approaching and the groundshaking thunder within it, we had just a few minutes before the sea turned pale, the wind roared to life and we were sent scurrying up the hill to the safety of our shack on stilts. In the afternoon we succesfully managed to complete the cancellation of our flights to Hong Kong and Tokyo and to our delight for now extra fee bearing in mind the reason for us cancelling was a dwindling stash of cash. From Thailand we would now go straight to India for our final leg but first of course, was the rest of Thailand.
In the evening we went to our resorts restaurant to find our waiter couldn't bring himself to remove the mobile phone from his ear so after several minutes without a menu we decided to up and leave to the neighbouring and empty Chai Lay restaurant where we ordered spring rolls and chicken Penang and seafood Masaman curries. Well the spring rolls arrived and in mid conversation I took a bite and spat it all out in an instant at the sensation of ice on my teeth! Calling the waitress over she asked "Problem?"... "Er yes, my spring rolls are still frozen"... "so want more cook?" "Considerably more cooked, and if I may, I would like them cooked from fresh". Without apology she carried them away but within minutes our main courses arrived and I could see instantly that my seafood curry had skipped a few evolutionary generations and was in fact beef. I mentioned it to the waitress but decided to let it pass and picking up my cutlery I forked one of the potatoes and put it to my mouth to find it was completely raw. After an incredulous conversation about how surely it can't be hard to actually cook the food especially having made such an arse of the Spring Rolls I walked to the kitchen door to find about 10 people standing around doing nothing. bearing in mind we were the only customers (with hindsight we know why) a team of 10 people couldn't put together a plate of food we decided that the restaurant was terminally incompetant and paying for our drinks we left in amazement. Walking a short way to the next restaurant Baan Glang Ow (now Pongs apparently) we delightedly found it to be a stunning and stylish place of dark wood, hanging lanterns and above all they were more than competant in the art of heating food to an agreeable level. After a delicious meal we retired to the adjoining Flip Flop Pharmacy for a cocktail before fatique overcame us.
At 6.30am we were woken by a jaw dropping chorus of dawn birdsong the like of which we have never heard and which sounded bizarrely like a row of space invader arcade machines had been set up on our porch. The day was whittled away lapping up bursts of intermittant sunshine on the beach and dashing for food and games of pool in the ever reliable and pleasant Pongs before in the afternoon the skies cleared completely returning the surrounding hills to their vivid green and the sea to its inviting blue. lounging outside Chai Lay restaurant chasing the spots of beach out of the shade we spotted 6 other travellers come stumbling out holding their bellies and declaring it the worst eating experience of their lives. Apparently their burger order first arrived as just a bun, then just a burger, then at last both together before finding it to be mushy and completely uncooked!) We had a good chuckle over that. Another magnificent meal at Pongs which we had already decided to frequent breakfast lunch and dinner and a walk under the starry skies along the beach the foggy brain and shame of the full moon had at last escaped us. Thong Nai Pan was doing a terrific job of changing our opinions of Ko Pha Ngan but the advice is clearly to escape to the quieter beaches. The following day was dazzlingly bright and sizzling hot and with the kilometre long beach virtually to ourselves we spent another day splashing about, reading, sweating, admiring washed up jellyfish and strolling along the brown sugar sand past the long shadows of palms which stretched to the shore. Our time on the island had been a curious mixture of forgettable alcohol sessions and sublime beach days but then again the weather seemed to also match our habits by flitting from dreadful to spectacular. I don't think we will think badly of Pha Ngan but then again we had a sneaky feeling it would not hold out as a favourite.
The island of Ko Tao beckoned a short hop across the water...
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Veronica S.
non-member comment
A Canadian says "Wow!"
I have been spending my time at work today reading your blog. I am totally inspired by your travels and it seems that you both had the adventures of a lifetime on this wonderful trip. Congrats on your engagement and on your parachutes opening properly! You both seem like lovely people and I am glad that you both enjoyed yourselves so much. True, you don't know me but I almost feel like I know you both. Almost.