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Published: January 30th 2013
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After five days of beach-bumming, punctuated by the raucous Full Moon Party on the final night, it was finally time to leave the islands, and return back to the track leading to Bangkok.
My next stop was Chumphon, the natural jumping-off point from the mainland to the islands. There aren't any real attractions in this small city per se, but it still sees many tourists in transit to the islands. It was here that my inhibitions from my Koh Phangan escapade caught up with me - as I began to feel the effects of food poisoning. I'm not sure exactly what it was, but I suspect it was the cold pizza I had from one of street vendors at the FMP. That ruined the day of my arrival in Chumphon, as I was basically bed- (and toilet-!) ridden the entire day, suffering from the runs, and a bout of intermittent stomach cramps. Thankfully, the night's (disturbed) sleep seemed to do the trick, and I felt much better the next morning.
And I say the night's sleep was disturbed not only because of my illness, but also because of the classic experience I had. So of course I've always been
staying at budget guesthouses/ hotels, and some of apparently better repute that others, but this one at Chumphon (Seeriya Hotel) really takes the cake. About 2 a.m. in the morning, as I struggled still with my cramps and sleeplessness, I heard a noisy couple barging their way through the corridor outside. Singing and playing loud traditional Thai music from his phone, what I presumed to be a drunkard and his partner for the night clanked glass bottles and talked loudly without regard for any one else of the floor (though I might possibly have been the only other one!). The walls were of course ultra thin at this old, ramshackle and dubious joint, so I could hear their every movement as they took the room opposite mine, including the showering and moving of furniture inside (yes I know, beats me too!). And this went on for a good twenty minutes of thereabouts. So annoyed was I that I tried to take the passive-aggressive course of action, and blasted Ella Fitzgerald (I was saving Aerosmith for the next level of escalation) from my iPhone in return, hoping they might be aware of my existence, and the thinness of the walls. It
didn't work, as the racket continued for a while more. Then it kinda died down, and I thought, thank goodness, they're finally going to sleep.
Well sort of, anyway. Cos the next thing I knew, a different sort of noise started emanating from their room. Yes, mostly just the woman this time, and before long the nature of the activity going on inside was unmistakable. By now, I knew enough Thai to recognise the context of some of the universal things said in the amorous throes of passion!
And so that was my ChumPORN experience! I guess at the rate I was going through all these budget places during my travels, this really had to happen sooner or later!
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