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Published: October 15th 2007
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The most oft-asked question you get here is, “okay mai?”
Which generally means everything from “are you okay?” to “this is how we are going to do this and you’re cool with that right?”
Life is starting to trickle back to normal a bit now that the staff actually comes here in the mornings and the children aren’t left to fend for themselves for an hour or so. The Dentists have left now and the tour wrapped up yesterday.
It wasn’t that the kids were entirely on their own every morning last week. It’s just that the staff weren’t here except for the one staff member that overnighted and the older kids. Of course, there are four Angrit volunteers walking around and after we realized the kids were on their own from 6:45 to 7:30 or almost 8am, we started coming over to help the little kids get ready.
It’s quite and experience trying to communicate to the kids in Thai and even more of an experience trying to get them to listen to you or recognize an authority in you. After a day or so we managed to settle into a routine of sorts and the kids expected our appearances early. Sa regularly received her medicine until this morning when the staff returned to regular duties and I haven’t seen anyone make a move to administer it. I don’t really want to step on toes, so I need to sit back and hope someone remembers. I’ll sneak it to her later if they forget.
Rotjana and I spent an hour on the steps of Mae Cee’s house this afternoon and we started to talk about why I am here.
I’m a touch edgy about the subject because I am never really sure how people are going to react. In one camp, there are those that believe that travel of any sort-that isn’t a vacation planned and settled during summer holidays-is an irresponsible, spontaneous and immature waste of resources, time and money. Then there are those on the far opposite end that believe that “Shangri-la” exists in any individuals holistic travel experiences….
I know Rotjana fairly well, so I took a chance in telling her the bare truth. I am here to teach myself and my children something about something else. I am running a bit from the discontent I had at home and taking time to learn something about myself that is new and taking time to recoup after the last six years. (some of you understand that one).
I don’t have any higher mission, or call from God or incredible need to find myself…I simply want to be here. Currently, I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.
Anyway, our conversation turned to philosophies and then to Buddhism. I told her that I wanted my children to learn about simple things that didn’t include greed or the Western Rotjana told me that the Buddhist way is the simple way; that the most important things are to learn to live together and to respect your parents and find happiness in simplicity.
Pretty much all of these precepts go against what the Western perspective teaches. Children are taught to be free thinkers and sometimes this means defying your parents, we seek wealth and advancement in all things (the bigger the better), a real I want attitude and living together is easy when you spend 7 years at the same address and still don’t know your neighbors names.
I want my children to see there is a different way of life; then they can choose their own place to believe.
Rotjana told me she wants to become a nun. Nuns in Thailand can have families and work day jobs, so it makes it a real possibility. I asked her what that would mean for the children at the orphanage and she said she believed it would make a stronger connection between the goings on here and the Buddhist way of life. I understood to the best of my ability, but can’t really understand without knowing what the Buddhist way of life really is. I told Rotjana that I was interested in learning, and she invited me to temple.
I went with only Rotjana. The temple in Ban Muang is an old building with teak floors and an open sides. The rain, wind, dogs and life track through it on a regular basis. I was introduced to the lead monk in Thai and went to sit at his feet. I was so completely nervous I would make some stupid mistake or do something totally taboo just without knowing it.
He went pretty easy on me. I have been to temple before in Thailand, but never to pray. I have come as a visitor only. This was my first participation in Buddhist ceremony and ritual. I sat properly in front of him with my legs tucked to my right side and my hands together in front of me. He asked me three things.
Where do you come from? Are you Buddhist? Why are you here?
I answered him without thinking and I’m sure it was a good thing. I come from Canada, I don’t know if I am Buddhist and I want to learn.
He seemed okay with the answers and Rotjana led me to the square of gold colored fabric where I was to sit. I sat to her left and behind another nun. Everyone save the monks were nuns and dressed in white. I stuck out like a light in a snowstorm, dressed in jeans and a dark t-shirt.
The monks dressed themselves in their robes at the back of the room and then took their places on the platform at the front. Soon the lead monk began the chants and I sat without moving for an hour and a half trying to pick out words I knew and to follow along.
There are parts of the praying that are familiar to me and must be part of every celebration of worship in any religion or philosophy. There were times I was comfortable and times I wanted to run away.
After the chanting nand prayers, we changed position to meditate for a half hour. I don’t remember feeling that way before.
It wasn’t an easy task for a westerner to sit and not move for so long. Rotjana asked me if I was happy afterwards. She said that everyone feels happy after they pray.
It’s an interesting way of looking at things…I wish I could understand more.
At the end of the prayer session, the monk began his brief lesson about how to live and ways to follow the Buddhist ideas of life. He spoke about a little girl that he met on the street the week before who was a westerner. She shocked him by crossing the street to make a point of waiing him as he did his early morning alms in the village. He said it pleased him because even though she did not understand she knew enough to show respect. He used this example to illustrate the importance of respect when you don’t understand. The monks and nuns in the room smiled and it added a bit of comfort to me aswell knowing that the story was about a little girl who wasn’t Thai. Rotjana helped to translate the more complicated parts of his story or when I made a face that clearly showed I couldn’t understand.
She also told me that the little girl had been Marrin.
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