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Published: July 27th 2006
Wednesday 19th July Laura - We arrived in Chang Mai at 6am having had hardly any sleep on the overnight bus. For no apparent reason the bus stopped 20 minutes outside of Changmai and we were escorted onto seperate mini buses (why this is, we have no idea - surely this is not very cost effective as it requires five extra drivers and five extra tanks of petrol?). Anyway Paul decided that it was a good time to go and find a toilet and by the time he got back there was no room left on the mini bus me and Holmsy were sat on. Bye Bye Paul.
Fortunately the mini bus took us to the same hostel as the bus Paul jumped on to and off we went to find somewhere cheap and cheerful to stay. Almost an hour later we found 'The Safe House', which was good enough for us:
Holmsy, "Do you think it's safe?"
Us, "As safe as houses".
High humour over we got showered and had breakfast then wondered around. Changmai seems nice, in that it's not the Khoa San road. It is a bit European and there are lots of tourists
wondering around but it's much quiter and more pleasant than Bangkok.
We picked up a few leaflets and decided to go and play crazy golf (why not?!), so we jumped in the back of an open taxi. The taxi driver got lost. We drove around for a bit. We eventually found it. It was closed for repair. We drove back to Changmai. As we hadn't specified where in Changmai we wanted to be dropped off the taxi driver drove around aimlessly. We eventually recognised the road we are staying on, and then eventually realised there was a bell to press to let the driver know you want to get off.
That fruitless adventure over we decided to take a lunch break, then a nap. At this point Paul realised that he really wasn't feeling very well (again) and so he didn't get up from his nap. Me and Holmsy decided to go to a local temple, where you can partake in "Monk Chat". We hopped in a taxi and managed to get there ok. There were many monks wondering around, and there was even a monk market, where they can buy robes, alms buckets, books, and other such
essential monk items like CD players and DVDs...
After looking around the temple for a while and taking a few photos of dogs sleeping on the stupas and eating the offerings of food placed by the Buddha statue, we went and joined in monk chat. This was being held in a room attached to the temple. When we walked in there were two other westerners in there that were just leaving. So we were invited to sit down at a table with 2 monks and 'chat'. Needless to say we felt a bit awkward. Thankfully we were soon joined by a couple of Germans, who looked like they'd 'found themselves' (and Buddhism). We asked the questions we had been pondering, such as:
- "I was taught in school (by good old Richy Evans) that monks are not allowed personal possessions. Is this true, because we have seen many monks carrying mobile phones and digital cameras?"
- "We've heard that you're not allowed to touch women. What happens therefore if you accidentally brush past a woman in the street?" (apparently, they don't have to bath in acid as we had guessed)
I don't think the German
couple were very impressed with our questions as they had more pressing issues on mind, such as
"what are the four forms of suffering?"
and
"can you give me any advice on meditation techniques?"
The monks seemed more keen with our questions actually but we were too scared of the Germans to ask our number one question, which was
"is your favorite fish, monkfish?".
The German couple were clearly more enlightened than us because they made remarks such as "Life IS suffering" and "The Buddha is, like, PERFECTION, man". It was very interesting, and the monk was lovely, and we liked the fact that he was more interested in us than the 'enlightened' couple. We made our excuses and left before the end though because the Germans were boring us.
After our enlightenment we jumped in a taxi and then realised that neither of us knew where exactly in Chang Mai we were staying, what the road we were staying on was called, or even the name of the guesthouse. You see the thing is, Paul likes planning everything so much, and he always has his head in the guidebook, so it's not
necessary for us to know such things like where we are staying. If only Paul was with us! So, having no other plan, I pointed at a random point on the map of Changmai and he drove off. Luckily there was a local girl on the taxi who was kind enough to help us out (the taxis here run a bit like buses and stop to pick people up on the way). Unfortunately the only landmark that we could remember was Starbucks, near our hostel. So we looked like completely ignorant tourists who only know where the local Starbucks is (when we finally got back we realised that our hostel is right next to a Wat that we should have probably noticed). Next time we'll take Paul...
After relaying our amusing adventures to Paul, and him telling us not to make him laugh because it hurt too much, we dragged him out of bed to go and get some dinner. After that we collapsed into bed at the late hour of 9pm and fell straight asleep.
Thursday 20th July Laura - Paul was not very well during the night and spent most of it groaning in
pain. So when our alarm went off at 8am to wake us for our white water rafting trip we weren't very happy. The rafting guide arrived at 8.30am and luckily said we could do it tomorrow instead at no extra cost.
This sorted, me and Holmsy went for breakfast, leaving Paul on the loo back at the hotel. We discussed what we wanted to do with the day now that rafting was off and decided to go for a massage. Afterall, you can't come to Thailand and not get a massage can you?!!
After wandering around some random side roads for a while and getting lost trying to follow the Lonely Planet map, we eventually found a recommended Spa where the masseuses don't wear stiletto heals and mini skirts...
The spa was set in a really nice atmosphere. It was a wooden hut surrounded by trees and there was soothing music being played. We felt instantly relaxed! The owner brought tea out to us, but we're not quite sure what was in the tea because it left us feeling very calm and happy! We both decided to go for an oil massage as apparently the traditional Thai
massage is too hardcore for first timers.
The massage was amazing, I didn't want it to end. I definitely want to go back, and may get a facial too! Why not when it costs a whopping 3 pound fifty?!!
After that we went to check on Paul and made him very jealous by telling him how fantastic we felt after our massages. Then we left him with some dry toast and rehydration tablets and went for lunch.
We somehow managed to while away three hours on the internet and when we got back Paul was scared we may have been abducted by aliens. He was so bored being cooped up in the hotel room all day that I think his imagination had started to get the better of him. Either that or it was the fever he had...
Anyway we managed to drag Paul out for dinner where he enjoyed the taste sensation that is boiled rice, while I ate the most delicious spring rolls. I forced a few gallons of water down Paul then we played cards before going to bed.
Friday 21st July Paul - Being the hard man that I am,
I struggled out of bed and told Laura I was ready to throw myself down some white water rapids. Holmsey kindly pointed out that if the "runs" came back again it would be easy to go over the side of the boat. That thought firmly in mind I decided to take some "stoppers" to prevent and kind of accidents.
Had bland toast for breakfast before a guy arrived in a pick up truck. Apparently he only wanted to take one of us as another truck was coming along in a minute. We were a little confused as there was more than enough space in his truck but I hopped in. After driving round the block we ended up at his headquarters where we sat and waited... and waited... and waited... until........................ Laura and Holmsey turned up in another truck?! What was the point of that? Brilliant! The organisers of this are brilliant.
After another inexplicable wait we were off. The rafting is pretty deep into the jungle so it was a really fun ride there. Scenery was particularly stunning but we didn't take our cameras so you'll have to take our words for it! That's a lie actually
Look at the expiry date!
On the bus to Chiang Mai Holmsey bought this... fried dried pork! BEATEN fried dried pork! It expires in.... 9/12/49!!!!as I had my camera in my bag but I couldn't be bothered to get it out! After following the river for about 45 minutes we arrived at our rafting base. Had lunch and then listened to a quick briefing on how to handle our rafts.
"The rapids will get quite rough!!"
"How rough?" shouts some German with kids
"Grade 5!"
"There's 6 grades... grade 6 is the... how do you say it?... hardest! No more questions? Right let's get going!"
Holmsey flashes a glance at us both and we've all seen this Simpsons episode before. Here come's Dr. Hibbert. "So you're going to die!" Awesome. It was going to be great.
Put our life jackets on and our helmets and climbed into our rafts with me and Holmsey at the front and Laura with our guide at the back. Decided to dub ourselves "Team Sexy" due to our immense good looks and general all round charm and we were off! After paddling around for 10 minutes with our guide checking we could follow instructions correctly so we wouldn't kill him as well as ourselves it was time to go. First bit of the river was really an excuse to take in some wonderous views and to watch the steam rising out of the jungle. We all had our eyes peeled for a tiger but sadly didn't see one. Although our guide was adament that there were crocodiles in the water...
Hit the first rapids with our guide warning us at least 5 times before that they were "big!" He was probably making some quick phone call to his girlfriend to warn her that he was in a raft with a load of drongos so not to expect him home for tea later. The rapids were great, a big drop in to them and we got completely drenched. It was tough work too as we had to paddle from side to side to avoid the big, jagged rocks. After we had left the first set Laura (who else?) complained of the hard work. She hadn't been at the bloody front watching huge rocks loom towards us!
Went through two more sets of huge rapids with ease (honestly we were like pro's!) before finally becoming unstuck on a huge rock. Dangling very precariously over the edge of a small drop into some rapids, I thought we were going to tip. It wasn't helped by the fact that our guide was shouting "Over the left, over the left" when that would have tipped us over! Annoyed that we wouldn't follow his suicidal commands (he was obviously trying to save himself) we all stuck our paddles into the rocks and tried to push ourselves off. Sure enough, we edged slowly off the rock and back into the water. Woo hoo we wouldn't be dying today! A thought occured at this point! Did our insurance cover this? Who cares we were having too much fun!
A lot more hair raising rapids later and we were nearly at the bottom. To celebrate our guide tipped us all into the water and let us float down with the current for a while. Holmsey informed us about creatures that swim up ANY HOLE to infect you and we all promptly climbed back aboard the raft. Thanked our guide profusely for not killing us all and climbed back to dry land. "Team Sexy" had done it! Got back on the bus and slept all the way back to Chiang Mai.
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Marr
non-member comment
Does no-one else think that this "Holmsey" person is deliberately poisoning Paul in order to steal his girlfriend? You know, Paul slowly wastes away, Holmsey lends Laura a shoulder to cry on, cooks her meals, he's a real *friend* and then suddenly BANG they're in love and she forgets all about her former boyfriend. You can't choose who you fall in love with can you Holmsey? CAN YOU?! It's the oldest trick in the book.