January 23rd - Day 18 in Thailand

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Well, I don’t think I have too much to say about today. It was extremely chill. We started off the morning going to breakfast at BCNC and then headed over to the coffee shop nearby the school called Maliwan. We had past it many days and always got back to the school after its open hours. It was everything I loved: Ferns. Thai tea. Good conversations. Calm early mornings. Friendly greetings. Strawberry shirts. Sunshine. Cat figurines. Wooden tables with fine, clean lines. I could go on and on about how happy I was at this coffee shop. It seems so simple, but sometimes the smallest and simplest things bring us the most joy. After this I was able to go back to BCNC and have independent devotional time, which was most needed. During my devotional time I was reminded that I had either see the world with eyes of hope or I can see everything as harmful and hurtful. I know that life is tough so hearing all my Thai friends' stories can lead to complete hopelessness, but we have a choice of how to see these situations. We can either be conquerers or victims. I know I want to practice being the first of these two, especially in the kingdom of God. His power is in me. I think this is once again a value I see the Thai people following, which I too would like to follow. My friends are totally conquerers. They have been through horrific childhoods, yet they remain with a smile on their face. Now when we reflect and say “I went to this country (fill in the blank here___) and everyone was so happy despite what they had,” I think this takes out and minimizes the strength of these men and women. We surely cannot go on living like victims if we want to survive and live good lives. We must choose to be helpful to society, to love, and to radiate joy. It is by the strength that these men and women choose to uphold that they show happiness. They have chosen the higher ground. Of course we could go down another rabbit trail of “does choosing happiness mean ignoring our issues,” but we can save that for another psych lecture!

After lunch, we went for out second round of thai massages. Since mother nature decided to hit in the afternoon, it was not the best choice for me. My cramps only got worse with the massage, so I could not thoroughly enjoy it. This was such a bummer since I LOVE massages. I’m always finding people who like to give them out. Ha. I ended up taking the rest of the evening off to nap away the cramps so that I could go to the night bazaar without feeling like I was going to throw up. I’ve been known to get such bad cramps that I pass out. This was not going to happen in Thailand! So we did end up going to the night bazaar after dinner, and to be honest, it wasn’t my favorite, but perhaps it was because I didn’t feel so hot. Everything was very expensive — tourist prices. I also was all shopped out for the week. Elephant pants all started to look the same. I did appreciate the time I was able to spend with my buddies and of course the food that we bought. I am starting to feel the woes of leaving them. Occasionally, I shed a tear which is abnormal for me. I’ve never been one to cry, but I’ve been learning to let myself show my feelings and not just bottle them up inside to stay strong. It takes bravery to love fully, but it is the most rewarding. I wouldn’t have changed my relationship and openness with these girls for anything.

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