Bangkok Floating Market.

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Originally we had planned on taking the 08:30 train to Chiang Mai, but on the advice of the girl at the travel desk of our hotel, we changed to an overnight sleeper, leaving at 19:30. So suddenly we had nearly a full day with nothing planned.

Looking through the literature at the travel desk, I found 2 half day activities. One was a river boat cruise with a stop at Wat Eran. The second was a bus/boat visit to the world famous floating market. I thought Sea would like the temple tour, but she had gotten her the praying out of her system. So we decided on the floating market.

We booked the trip for the morning of the 17th. The tour operator picked us up at the hotel a few minutes after 07:00. WE got into a nice, new, clean mini bus. It seated about 12 people, and was full. After a few stops and everyone was aboard, the guide gave us his spiel. The trip would take about 1.5 hours. We would get off the bus and onto long tail boats for the final leg of the trip to the market.

The ride was uneventful. The roads were good and the traffic moved along well. We arrived at the destination about 09:00. When we disembarked the guide gave us a warning speech. He told us to beware of people selling boat rides through the market. He told us to only use “approved” boats. The others, he said, would charge too much and the ride would be too short.

OK. I stand warned.

We boarded the long tail boats and after a 15 or 20 minute ride through some not-so-scenic canals we arrived at the floating market. The guide told us we had a little more than 2 hours at the market. This is when it starts to suck.

I am sure everyone has seen pictures of a floating market. There are boats loaded with colorful, fresh fruit and piloted by wizened old ladies in conical hats. There are boats with charcoal braziers cooking succulent satays. There are woks where delicious stir fries are being stir fried, and plantains, breads, and shrimp are being deep fried. There are boats loaded with freshly cut flowers from deep in the jungle. Plus there are boats loaded with wonderful hand made crafts and souvenirs. And everything is cheap because these country folk don’t know better. I knew what I was in for. I watch the Travel Chanel.

My experience: There were a few dozen anemic looking boats loaded with the same 3 or 4 kinds of fruits. There was almost no on-board cooking going on. There were no hand made souvenirs or clothing for sale. Everything was the same shit you can get in every other store in the backpacker district of Bangkok. The sides of the canal were lined with stores selling the same crapola.

The officially sanctioned boat trips through the market cost 150 baht (about $4.00 USD)per person and lasted less than 30 minutes. An old lady rowed the boat past the various stores and boats. She stopped from time to time to allow anyone who wanted to, to purchase some shit. I am happy to report none of the 6 people on our boat even considered buying anything, proving that the recognition of crap is universal.

The boat ride we a rip off. You went no where and saw nothing you could not do an see from the canal banks. It was an opportunity to charge tourists money to look at, and hopefully purchase, shit,

Sea and I got out of our “officially sanctioned” boat ride and walked around on the banks of the canal, looking at the shiteous souvenirs for sale. We had an OK, but grossly overpriced breakfast at one of the food stands. Then we walked around, taking pictures.

So we were ripped off twice. Once when we booked the trip, then again when we took to boat ride through the market.

I don’t know if we visited on an off-day somehow, but based on my experience the Bangkok floating market was highly disappointing. Any travel guide that recommends visiting it should loose its publishing license.

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