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Published: November 15th 2008
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back of a tuktuk
and the world is your oyster... Ok, so first of all I have to aplogize for the lateness of this blog. I had visions of being able to sit down once a day and fill everyone in on what has been going on in this crazy country. However, I was sadly mistaken. Mostly because, even though I am on vacation, time seems to go faster here somehow.
Also, I should give a little disclaimer that some of the things you are about to read are not for the faint of heart. I do need to keep this somewhat PG (or at least PG-13) as my parents are going to be reading this as well, sorry to disapoint my friends who were hoping to live vicariously through me. Also, I am aware that some of you may have heart conditions and I can't be held responsible for elevated blood pressures!
So, that said, I landed in Bangkok at around midnight on the 5th of November. I left on the 4 th and got here on the 5th. That magical international dateline had been crossed and here I was. I had booked a hotel near the airport as I didn't want to be looking for a hotel
Big ol Buddha
You'll find a god in every golden cloister... at midnight. The hotel had a shuttle that was there and scooped me up and took me to the place. It was decent and I tried to sleep although with the time changes for me it was really noon. Thailand is a 12 hour difference from EST. First thing in the morning I got a massage which was awesome! There is nothing better than getting a massage after being on a plane for 24 hours. The lady who gave it to me was about 60 years old with hands of steel. Like a vise grip. Nothing beats old lady strength. After a little breakfast and a massage I was off to the infamous Kao San Road of which legends are told. I was then promptly overcharged for the ride into town, but even when you get overcharge in Baht, it still only like a 5 dollar screwing.
I had a really good tip on a place to stay in Kao San Road from a friend who had been there recently (thanks Brad) and checked in to the Rambutri Village Inn no problem. The place had a nice rooftop pool, basic but clean rooms all for about 16 dollars a night. I wandered around that area for a while taking it all in. Kao San is a pretty popular backpacker place within Bangkok. The streets are jammed with stuff. And I mean stuff, if you can name it, somebody there can sell it to you. Plenty of tourists and the Thais there cater to this tourist crowd. They also have a tendency to rip you off in that area. There are tuk-tuk drivers who give a new meaning to the word unscrupulous. A tuk-tuk is basically a suped up golf cart that is used quite a bit on the busy Bangkok streets to get you around. The traffic in Bangkok is pretty much nightmarish, and there is no way they have any emissions standards. I'm pretty sure there must be a big hole in the ozone right over Bangkok. I know sucking down those fumes took a few days off my life! The traffic patterns are a bit funny, and reminiscent of most big third world cities. Basically how it works is that if there is space, someone will fill it with a car or most likely a motorbike. These are probably the preferred methods of transport for Thais in the city. The motorbikes will just cut to the front of the lines at a red light, simply because they can. Totally accepted here. The distances between you and the next vehicle are literally a matter of inches. Despite the insanity of it all I didn't see one accident the 5 days I was in Bangkok.
At the pool at my hotel I met some pretty funny English girls out on "holiday". Their main objective was to get as blitzed as possible at one of the many street stalls that serve as bars on Kao San road. The English know how to hold their liquor! Wow. These stalls are just stacked up on top of each other with people spilling out on to the street. It reminded me a little bit of Bourbon street with the smell of liqour and puke all mixed together. We hung out there for a bit and then went to infamous Patpong district where carnival legends are made. In Patpong, I saw some very strange things coming out of orifices they had no business being in. And mind you, I work in an ER.
Another night in Bangkok I went out with a friend of a friend, and all his friends and was shown the expat life of Bangkok. These guys had all lived here for years and knew the deal. We went to a German restaurant to meet up and saw so many fat old Germans with their young pretty Thai girls that I will never look at another German the same way. Not that I had an overabundance of fondness for them to begin with. I still hold a grudge from WW2. Anyway, these expat guys had what I call a type of Bangkok savvy to them. Not only did they know all the right bars and the right way to maneuver without getting ripped off, but they also had a certain acceptance of what happens when an economically superior people meets an economically lesser people. What happens is whatever you want to happen (if you are the economic superior). Hence, German guys with young Thai girls. I shouldn't just blame the Germans because I saw it with many others as well, although the Germans seemed to be the majority. Is there a German holiday going on or something?!?
So the night began with a few innocent beers at this German place and ended up with us sloshed in a Bangkok nightclub. My cohorts in crime made this night totally interesting if not really fun. There was Frenchy, the (of course) French expat who was 5'6" if he was lucky and truly crazy. He had broken every major bone in his body from extreme sports and at the age of 41 had no plans to slow down. He quite seriously wanted my opinion on getting multiple joints replaced at the same time, "Jeff, why won't zey jus do zem all at once?" . There was also Adli the Jordanian shoe prince who was in town on business, but who knew Bangkok well as his family's shoe business had many connections there. He had this incredibly deep voice and every word was followed by "man". "Jeff, man, that is too funny, man". There was James the English teacher from England, who could also drink like a fish. Rollin, my friend who had gone to UVM with me who had really hooked me up with a cell phone and tips on Thailand.
Anyway, much of the night was a blur, but I have to tell you about the nightclub. We went down this dark alley and I thought "nothing good came come of this" - and I was right. We opened up the doors to what looked like a wharehouse (that is wharehouse, not whorehouse) and bright flashing lights and hundreds of people writhing about befell my eyes. Now, this was the first time I had gotten a good look at Bangkok's ladyboy scene. It is alive and well to be sure. I have to admit, some of these "ladies" looked pretty damn good. I'm pretty sure that I haven't been fooled by any of them, (but the only way to know that you are wrong is when it is too late!) but they are pretty convincing. Ladyboy free, I got home that night just as the sun was coming up. How I got home is truly a miracle. Buddha must have been looking out for me!
I could write a ton more but this is way too long as it is. Those were the Bangkok highlights (and then some). From Bangkok on to Chiang Mai on the overnight train on the next edition...
P.S. Check out more photos on Facebook. It was a tortuously slow process getting them on this website.
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