All good things come to and end....

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I am not entirely sure i agree with the statement that all good things must come to and end...but that is the way the saying goes, and sadly, that is the way my travels have gone. Mobo, not that i am jealous AT ALL, is still carousing and galavanting around south east asia, while i have upped and left and am now safely installed back in my flat in the less-than-picturesque Beijing Central Business District.

But even as things started to wind up and simmer down, we managed to have ourselves a few last little adventures, battling anti-social rainstorms and blood-thirsty mosquitoes in Vientiane, getting a taste of the Thai border control experience (for those that don't play the game), fighting off cheating tuk-tuk drivers in Bangkok and being forced into those unfortunate situations where you just can't say no to buying things. no, really, i tried...and i failed.

So Vientiane...capital of Laos. Most things in the city you can thank the french for...the architecture, the signposts, the replica Arc de Triomph, the fresh baguettes and probably the dog poop on the pavements. Although, the Laos people don't seem to always be so keen on thanking the french for things - and that is when you get priceless notices on a monument declaring it to be: "a huge structure resembling the Arc de Triomphe...From a closer distance, it appears even less impressive, like a monster of concrete." merci!

One thing we didn't ask for and got far too much of in Vientiane was rain. Colossal, dolloping great balls of sploshing rain...rendering anything smaller than a marquee useless as an umbrella and meaning that all our clothes had a nice brown polka-dot pattern streaking up the backs if we had to walk anywhere in it! so...we sought refuge from these climatic hissy fits and entertained ourselves with a good bit of old fashioned competitive bowling. well, between the two of us it was competitve, we didn't challenge the national side or anything dare-devillish like that. we felt that the fact that we were enjoying the delights of the "Lao Bowling Centre" meant that we were effectively being culturally investigative...barefoot bowling at a random selection of wobbling pins (the machine sometimes encouraged them to dive out of the way before a ball had even set off) accompanied by a couple of litres of beer and optionally followed by an hour long foot massage is the Laos way to do things. And we are pretty good at this bowling malarky. I won't pretend that a small toddler couldn't waddle down the lane faster than my pitifully light-weight bowling balls creep, but when speed stood up to accuracy, i am proud to say that i have finally found a sport i can beat Mobo at. most of the time, and i blame the beer for any mishaps!

There isn't really all that much to do in Vientiane, so we booked our bus ticket to Thailand, went bowling, visited a couple of temples, went bowling and relaxed in some bars gazing out over the Mekong to the banks of Thailand. We swiftly committed ourselves to an overnight, 12 hour bus ride in an effort to escape the rain and to reach sunny Bangkok. When we hit the border (well, arrived at it, not physically crashed into it) we all had to bundle off the bus, queue up for a passport stamp, sign a piece of paper to say we weren't carrying drugs and get back on the bus to the opening credits of Bad Boys the film. All very simple and easy if you want it to be. Some people apparently don't look for simplicity....they look for man-handling, jaw-wrenching, gut-punching and head-kicking...all of which are available from your friendly Thai border control officer if you refuse to let him see what you have in your mouth. There was a huge caffuffle when a Thai guy came skidding out of nowhere, running back towards Laos, with suspected ecstasy stashed in his mouth. We are pretty sure he won't be seeing daylight again for a long time...if ever.

We were dumped in Bangkok at 5 in the morning...so sleep was our first priority, followed by a call to the Embassy on my part in the hope that my Visa/Olympic accreditation which the BBC had couriered to me had arrived. it hadn't. i was trapped in Thailand! I handled my predicament well though, and did what any sensible inmate in Bangkok would do - set off to throw something back at the local economy by way of a mammoth shopping trip. Mobo was an impressively enthusiastic and durable assistant and porter too! Our initial plans were altered slightly though when our day was hijacked by a fast-talking tuk-tuk driver who sold us a bargain whistle-stop tour of some free temples due to Buddha having a birthday and the government handing out free petrol. We went along with the plan...but it wasn't long before we worked out the symmetry between the number of temples we visited and the number of 'short' stops at tailors/jewellers we had to make. Despite being uppity and eyeing the first tailor shop with our version of disdain, somehow we managed to leave the second after 3 hours, 2 free beers, and in conceptual possession of a DJ and a suit... woops?!

the highlight (and i mean high) of our bangkok stay was an entertainingly bizarre saturday night out - ricocheting between the very good and the very wrong elements of Bangkok. we started the night with a trip to the tailor for a fitting...chauffeur driven to our tailor and then on to our chosen destination of the Westin Banyan Tree Hotel, home to the most breath-taking bar i have ever been to in my life. balanced on the roof, 58 floors up sits Vertigo; an open-air cocktail bar which offers unblemished, unbelievably clear panoramas of the city and a fully stocked menu of exotic cocktails. it is decked out a little like a yacht...only a lot higher above sea level. oh, to be able to live like that! we were joined in our make-believe by a friend of mine from Germany called Geezer (he has a real name but it doesn't suit him nearly as well!). His only request for what was his last night in Bangkok was that we make a stop at the infamous Pat Pong district to see the Ping Pong (not the sort china plans to win at the olympics). so we descended from our lofty reverie and volunteered ourselves to the street touts... one beer after stepping into the bar, we ran away again.

so, i am now back in Beijing - my visa finally arrived and i was allowed back into the motherland. Lots of things have changed...and not just because most of my friends have been shunted out by the strict visa controls. there are no more street vendors selling tasty BBQ snacks as the sun goes down, there is hardly any outdoor seating anywhere, the tuk-tuk drivers appear to have been all but chased off the streets and the biggest Adidas store in the world has landed!

welcome to the Olympics...where things are just that little bit more difficult and life may well be that little bit more confusing. but i will cope, i am sure. especially with my all-access pass for all the venues!

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