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Published: December 2nd 2006
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Bangkok
At the Grand Palace No sooner than we had left Singapore we arrived in Bangkok, collected luggage and successfully avoided all the transport touts offering VIP rides and limousines. We took a ride with a very cheery guy driving a metered taxi into the city and arrived at around 10 pm at the KC guesthouse situated just off the back of the Khao San Road. Once checked in and settled it was decided it was best to leave the exploring until daylight and so a very welcome early night was had - even if the fan continually blew hot air around the room and the noise from the Tuk Tuks on the road outside made it virtually impossible to sleep!
Inevitably, we were drawn directly to the Khao San Road in the following days for the unbelievable shopping. Our bags have doubled in weight and are nearly breaking under the strain of the bulges! We strayed away from Khao San at one point to visit Patunam market but loyally returned not long after. Patunam was a bit of a dissappointment but we experienced our first local bus ride. Most of the time they tend to just slow down instead of stop at the bus stops
The Emerald Buddha Temple
The ornate detailing at the Temple which makes for some light entertainment - "There's no 3 - leg it!!"
That evening the lads from uni arrived in Bangkok. We met them, and as it was the eve of the Thai elections, and everyone has to have a clear head when they vote, it was illegal for any alcohol to be sold anywhere in Thailand - gutted!!! So we spent the lads first night in their (air con) hotel room ordering King Browns illegaly. They were delivered to the room, from 30 miles away, on a service trolley under a tea towel, with coffee mugs posing as a decoy on the side! Becs and Whits also went on a stealth mission and came back with a bottle of Samsong (Whisky) acquired from an old lady down a dodgy back soi (alley). The night was extremely entertaining, as it always is - the lads never dissappoint!
Smithers used the lads hotel pool to her full advantage the following morning, and by mid afternoon we finally made it to the Grand Palace. Whitters, with a hangover from the depths of hell spent the best part of the afternoon tracing us from the shadows like the grim reaper! As the
The Grim Reaper
I suffer the hangover from hell palace is a holy temple, you are not allowed to wear shorts or vest tops, so Becs and Whitters had to hire skanky old man shirts and sarongs to be able to look around (Smithers somehow lucked out with just the sarong)! On seeing the photos the lads claimed that the girls either looked like missionaries or school teachers! The palace is absolutely magnificent - encrusted with gold leaf and multi-coloured mirrored tiles with marble floors. Each building intricately and individually designed and serving different purposes. The Royal Family no longer live there however, they've moved to a pad not far away and left this one open to the public. One of the particular highlights of the palace was the temple housing the Emerald Buddha. Upon entry a feeling of complete calm and serenity grips you and we sat there, feet directed away from Buddha for about half an hour in utter silence - weird!
That evening we were glad to be escorted to Patpong (the red light district) by the lads, and after a nerve-wracking Tuk Tuk race across Bangkok (there were 3 Tuk Tuks and of course, the one Sturdy was in was wheelying off at every green
The Floating Market
Some of the many stalls light!) we arrived not in Patpong but at the door to a very seedy looking sex club. Further negotiations and the Tuk Tuk drivers, with the loss of their commission, took us more solmenly to the correct place, Patpong Market. The bar we went to was apparently run by the Thai Mafia, and Morgan told us to buy our drinks with the correct money because we wouldn't get any change. We were entertained there for a while by a questionable live band who pretty much just sang over the Black Eyed Peas tracks - the Thais' love it and play them everywhere!!! We ended up later in a place called Super Pussy. Paying no cover charge was a huge mistake as the amount of hassle for money inside was unbearable, and the drinks extortionate! We were ushered to some seats along a bar right in front of the stage and got to look at naked women dancing unenthusiastically (you could practically see them compiling their shopping lists in their heads!) or just side stepping! We didn't see any ping pong balls fly anywhere, but the occasional banana was fired and the odd paper dart popped a balloon hanging from the
The Floating Market
Traditional Thai lady in her longtail boat ceiling. By the time one of the girls had emptied a bottle of coca cola into herself and peed it back out again, most of the lads had gathered around Smithers, Whits and Becs for protection! All except Sturdy that is, who was busy stroking the legs of a girl who'd wrapped her arms around him. What he didn't realise that this girl had a rather large adams apple and size 10 feet! Unfortunately Sturds, you will never live this down! After Jonny had 2000 baht nicked out of his pocket by another lady boy, we decided it was best to cut our losses and leave - we had clearly come to the wrong joint!
We said a fond farewell to the lads the next day before heading 2-3 hours west of Bangkok on local buses to a small town called Damnoen Saduak. The Lonely Planet guided us to a hotel there reminiscent of the one from The Shining. Of course we didn't stay there (we value our lives!) and trudged back to the bus stop and hailed a Tuk Tuk, which drove the wrong way up the dual carriageway to get back to us, weaving in and out of
Bangkok
The hectic Khao San Road parked cars along the roadside. We found a nice place to stay on the river and spent a pleasant evening there. Early the next morning we visited the floating markets (the reason for our excursion) and on the way there, whilst relaxing in a paddled longtail boat, we passed two Monitor Lizards huddled together floating in the water, which Greeny and Whits where convinced were actually dinosaurs! The market still sold traditional things such as fruit and veg but the majority of the stalls seemed to have given way to tourist curios, still, it was a worthwhile visit. We were back in Bangkok by lunchtime and visiting the Wat Pho temple and the famous 46m long reclining golden Buddha. Later on, over on the posh side of town, we rocked up in a Tuk Tuk at the grand entrance to the 5 star Marriott Hotel and Spa! Particularly amusing for those of you who know how loud the Tuk Tuks actually are - can't believe they let it through the entrance gate! We piled out, Smithers with a strawberry slush puppy in hand and headed to the enormous lobby to kick back in the chaise-longue's and wait for the arrival
Drinks in Pat Pong
Sexes not necessarily defined by beverage choice! L-R: Jonny, Rob, Morgan, Sturdy, Ingram, Me and Becs of the Green family.
After the reunion, we explored a bit of the hotel, had a drink by the pool and caught the (free!) ferry across the Chao Phraya River to town. A short trip on the Skytrain and we found a nice place to eat called the Mango Tree. It had air con too - what a treat! After dinner we headed home in a Tuk Tuk and prepared for the VIP bus trip to Koh Chang the next day.
Laa Kawn
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