The Land Where It's Already Tomorrow, Chapter 02: Danshui Again, 50 cent Supper

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Braving the thumping heat, I spent the afternoon at Danshui Rao He. “Clearwater Riverbank”, in other words. It’s really too bad that I didn’t have my camera with me—I could have taken three pictures in a row of Chinese fishboats with the eyes painted on, the little shanty place where the fishers live, and modern high-rise apartments—all three while standing in the same place.

I enjoyed BBQ squid and ham sausage for lunch, with mango over shaved ice for desert.

There is an expression to the effect that old age and cunning will overcome youth and skill. Well, I proved it today. Some kids (fooling around and showing off) managed to push over one of those concrete blocks to stop cars from driving on the promenade, and they were trying to put it back into place before the constable noticed. God knows how they managed to move it to begin with (I guess it’s easier to tip something over than to right it)— but anyway the weight of the concrete was beyond them. I made a big show of Hercules flexing muscles (to the amusement of the kids) but naturally I couldn’t move it either if all four of them had failed to do so. My King Kong routine had no better luck. No wonder some Chinese people think that foreigners are weird.

In a flash of brilliance (I actually have them sometimes), I devised a plan. It was beyond me to explain it in Mandarin, but the kids seemed to understand. The five of us managed to lift the block a titch (just enough to get the toe of my sandal under the block) then the kids excitedly alerted passersby that my foot was caught. What would any reasonable person do in the circumstances (especially when there is an opportunity to show physical strength to one’s girlfriend)? Half a dozen macho volunteers lifted the thing in a twinkling. With a quick “xie xie ni, xie xie punyo, xie xie xie xie” (thanks a lot, thank you friends, thank you thank you), I vanished into the crowd before the giggling girlfriends of the four boys could give me away.

By the way, there is no big skill involved in vanishing into a Chinese crowd—God knows there’s almost always one around—just remember to duck your head because a lot of people might be shorter than you.

My 50-cent dinner was a chicken skewer at the market around the corner from my digs. Just one skewer was enough—who wants to gorge in this heat?

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Photos

Danshui Riverbank, Banyan Canopy
Danshui Riverbank is a popular Taipei hangout, because it is so close to the city and easy to get to.

Danshui He
Lao-puo Suzanne and I have a lot of happy memories about this place.

Quan Yu
Many Chinese Gods, such as Quan Yu, were actual persons. Quan Yu was a general a few centuries ago who, because of his service to the emperor, became the God of Loyalty and Faithfulness. (and scholarship too--some slothful layabouts prefer prayer to study).