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Published: June 19th 2008
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Fri. May 30th
So today is the BIG day!
We had plans to meet our family at 3pm at the Holt Adoption Agency. We had no idea what or who to expect...I thought we'd maybe meet our Aunt/Uncle from Andong or a cousin the case worker had mentioned on several occasions. I didn't allow myself to have any expectations so I was prepared for anything. We arrived at the Holt Agency about 30 minutes early - thinking we'd get settled in before our relatives arrived. Well, we actually happened to run into them on the sidewalk outside the Agency. They knew what we looked like because I had sent some pictures earlier that month. I was actually a bit relieved to run into them outside because the build-up to the actual meeting would have felt a little forced, almost staged. So - here before me is this middle-aged man with an adorable, barely 5 feet tall middle-aged woman. At this point I'm really not sure who they are...I thought they seemed too young to be our aunt/uncle but maybe too old to be our cousins... First there are awkward hand-shakes - which I suppose seem socially appropriate since they
are essentially strangers...but after a minute "oppa" gives both of us hugs. After a few moments of all of us staring at each other, I came to the startling realization that we can't communicate with each other. While I've known this all along, the magnitude of this communication barrier didn't dawn on me until this exact moment. Immediately, we all started to compensate with a lot of exaggerated hand gestures.
We were in the Agency for only a few minutes before we were heading out to a different building. We walked a couple of blocks to the Holt Reception Center - to the post-adoption wing to meet with our interpreter. Once we entered the building, I immediately heard babies crying...it suddenly dawned on me this building is the exact location we lived in for a short period of time between the orphanage and being sent to the States. At this point I'm really not sure what to think...Our case worker/interpreter is waiting for us and we enter a small, meeting room. Oppa pulls out a well-organized folder, a chart of some sort, etc. and I'm thinking - we are most definitely related! We found out they are our cousins
on our Dad's side...they are much older because Dad was the youngest of 6 siblings. We were told to call them "Oppa" and "Ani" - which means big brother and sister...out of respect for our age difference of 20+ years. Any cousin older than us is considered "Oppa" and "Ani." Oppa shows us a family tree and we are surprised at how large our family is.
Here is the breakdown of Dad's siblings from the oldest to the youngest:
1. Shin Jong Ho (uncle) - died in the Korean war at the age of 20
2. Shin G.H. (aunt - 78 years old) (husband passed)
son - 2 grand-daughters, 1 grand-son
daughter - 2 grand-sons
3. Shin Jung Ho (uncle - 76 years old) & Gang Ok Sun (aunt 73 years old)
son (Oppa) & wife - 1 grand-daughter, 1 grand-son
son - 1 grand-daughter, 1 grand-son
son
son - 2 grand-daughters
4. Shin Song Ho (uncle died mid 1990s - lung cancer) & Lee Soo Young (aunt 70 years old)
daughter
son
son - 1 grand-son
son
5. Shin Pung Ja (aunt - 68 years old) & uncle
passed
son
daughter
6. Shin Bong Ho (Dad) - died 1987; Choi Bong Soon (Mom) - died 1985
daughter (Me!)
daughter (Laura)
son (Corey)
Phew! I found out we actually lived with our Uncle Shin Jung Ho and Aunt Gang Ok Sun for almost one year. During that year we were around our cousins quite a bit and I think because our cousins were so much older, I thought they were Dad's siblings. One of the few distinct memories I have is of a woman with hair down to her ankles... I thought she was Dad's younger sister but she is actually one of my elder cousins. It was apparent all my foggy memories were pretty inaccurate!
Oppa gave us two pictures...one of our parents when they were either engaged or married...and a picture of me as an infant. I was so chubby! We were disappointed they had no pictures of Laura or Corey. Apparently very few photos were taken except of me because I was the first-born.
We showed them pictures of our family and where we lived in America. One of the first questions they asked were about Corey...they were
concerned he might have had some problems because his feet were flat. Which we told them he's had no issues with his feet - that in fact, he's a runner and is very healthy! They also asked about his eyes...we told them he had surgery almost immediately after went to the States and he was fine. I think they were very relieved to hear he turned out okay!
We asked a lot of questions about our family and attempted to ask about our parents. I don't think they were comfortable talking about them and basically told us to ask our aunts and uncle tomorrow because they would know more. (There were plans to have lunch with the rest of the family tomorrow in Ilsan.) There were a lot of questions Laura and I wanted to ask but we didn't feel this was the appropriate time or place to ask. Maybe tomorrow we could find some answers...but I think what we learned today was more than enough to handle for one day. Overall, we were very happy with how our first meeting went and were excited to meet more family tomorrow!
After the meeting they invited us to stay
with them that evening in Ilsan so we went back to the hostel to pack a night bag. While Laura, Ani and I went back to the hostel, Matt and Oppa waited at the subway station. I can only imagine what their 45 min. conversation sounded like! At the hostel, Ani met Mrs. Kim and while we were packing, they were having a very in-dept conversation...about what - couldn't tell you! I'm pretty sure they were talking about us, though! Traveling to Ilsan from northern Seoul took about 1 hour and it was an interesting ride to say the least...most of the time we stared at each other and a few times made some futile attempts to communicate via dictionary!
Ilsan is a really, really nice area to live and they live in a very modest apartment. I would guess 95% of the residents in Seoul and surrounding cities live in apartments. Once we arrived at the apartment and settled in, they asked if we wanted to go to dinner. Well, somehow pizza was mentioned and they insisted we go to an Italian restaurant! Up to this point, we had been eating Korean food and Italian food sounded perfect!
Ani drove us to the restaurant (apparently, Oppa doesn't drive b/c he's a terrible driver!) and had a very nice dinner. After some time the dictionary conversation and broken English almost seemed normal - we had found a way to make do with Oppa's very limited English skills and our handy dandy dictionaries. After dinner we decided to walk around in a shopping area for a while and somehow we ended up in a shoe store. I'm pretty sure that was Laura's idea! Ani and Oppa insisted they buy each of us a pair of shoes...seriously...we didn't want them to and after few minutes of this ridiculous banter, we gave in! I guess the rest of the evening was pretty uneventful...We arrived back at their apartment around 10 pm and their younger daughter - middle school age - was still at school! I'll talk more about the Korean Education system later...
Tomorrow we meet more of the family...
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