Here is your mission if you choose to accept it!

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This past Friday/Saturday I took part in the Daegu Theater Troupe's first ever project. The event was called "The 24 Hour Theater Project". This meant that on Friday we were put into teams with 2-4 actors, a writer and a director and the writer had to come up with a script by 9am the following morning. The actors and directors were to arrive at Club That on Saturday morning to begin working on their plays. Skot and I who were paired up in a group (her being our SPLENDID director and me one of the actresses) left home bright and early so we could grab some coffee. Silly us we were totally swept up in the foreigner atmosphere and forgot that coffee isn't available before 9 or 10 in Korea...I'm pretty sure the country doesn't actually open until about 4pm. So we trudged to the club and met with other disgruntled artists who were in some serious need for coffee!

Upon getting our script I immediately knew it was going to turn out well! We had a good cast and we were all pretty outgoing (those who know me may have a hard time believing it but when I get onstage I tend to be able to be outrageous...a far cry from my somewhat reserved self in usual public settings!).

The play was called 'Closing Time' and it was about a waitress that just wanted to go home and watch her favourite show naked. Just as she's about to close a grumpy writer shows up and is a complete ass as he just orders water. Then a drunk couple walk in sit down and proceed to tell the waitress that they had just gone to an awesome Ashlee Simpson concert in the park, telling her that Ashlee is like Aretha Franklin, Celine Dion
and Fergie all rolled into one and then fistbumping each other followed by a "marriage WOO! in unison.

When the waitress leaves the couple talk and laugh and annoy writer before asking what he's doing and having the waitress tell them. The wife insists on asking the writer what he's doing by obnoxiously yelling across the room to get his attention. He eventually tells them that he's writing a very serious brilliant biography on Dane Cook (as in the comedian!). The couple is amazed and fistbump for a unison AWESOME!

This is all followed by them trying to remember the lyrics to Simpson's LALA which they fail miserably at and can't sing to save their lives. The writer gets PISSED walks over and in a deliberate sort of way tells them the exact lyrics. When the wife starts into the actual words he freaks out and tells them long windedly to just shut up with a speech about them being so annoying. The wife starts to cry in that ridiculous you just got terrible news sort of way and the husband jumps up to confront the writer.

Husband "Hey, man. I'm talking to you. That shit wasn't cool. You made my wife cry.
(wife stops sobbing and immediately stands up)
Wife "HE did nothing wrong! It was all YOU!
Husband "Me?"
Writer "Him?"
Wife (to husband with venom in her voice) "Yes you! You, with your...with your hair, and shirt and SKINNY JEANS...and your FACE! You sicken me"
Husband "I sicken you?!? I'm not the one who finds candy on the ground and just eats it!
Wife "OH don't even go there"
Husband "Oh I'm going there"
Wife "Don't!"
Husband " It's too late. (he pounds his chest like a gorrilla) You woke up the beast. Now you gotta deal with the consequences!
Wife "Would you quit it with this macho bullshit! You cry at ever JULIA ROBERTS MOVIE!
Husband "that woman is talented!"
Wife "YOU CRIED AT OCEANS ELEVEN"
Husband "Those were tears of joy I was just so happy that they stole the money!
(Wife rolls her eyes)
Wife "Whatever. Just please remind me at some point that I actually married a man..........and by remind me I don't mean by driving me around in your Ferrari that you bought to compensate for a small PENIS!
Writer (spitting out his water) Oh shit!
(The husband loses his temper grabs a glass of water and throws it in her face, the wife retaliates by grabbing the other glass and throws it in his face)
Wife "Well...I'm going to dry off and when I get back you better not be here"
(Wife stomps off towards to bathroom)
Husband "I'm not fucking leaving. I don't care what she says....my penis is not small...it's average for a guy my height (checks)"

After that exchange the waitress rants about the crazies, goes into the bathroom and gradually convinces the wife that she should stab her husband because nobody else will! (the wife remember is tipsy and somewhat dimwitted and takes A WHILE to understand what the waitress is suggesting). The wife walks up to her husband gets him to turn around and stabs him. As he lay dying with her cradling his head in a moment of weakness, he says "What the hell...that was totally not cool" and dies.

The wife stands up triumphantly and tries to give a fistbump to the waitress for accomplishment. She does NOT want to do it so she uses her towel and picks up the husbands arm so the wife can fistbump his fist instead. The wife looks at it shrugs and fistbumps it then she turns and says "Murder WOO!" on her way out of the restaurant.

The waitress then bitches that the writer is still not gone. He soon gets up and is walking towards the door when she shoots him because he did not leave a tip. As he fell to his knees he cried out in joy that he would be as famous as James Dean, Van Gogh and even Chris Farley. Than he thanks her as he takes his last breaths.

It ends with the waitress "All right. We are officially CLOSED"

And with those last words the performances were officially over! We def. got the most laughs out of any of the 6 plays that were up so it was great! Oh and for the record I was the wife! By the end of the night I had barely any voice and I felt ill from all the second hand smoke I had endured throughout the night but winning audience pick for best play of the night (like winning Best Picture at the Oscars!) was excellent and made it totally worth it! For the record we got a little gold piggy bank with Theater Project Winner on it and a gift certificate to one of the foreigner restaurants! It also felt great being approached by so many people with kind words like "You were brilliant!" "You were so good, I nearly choked to death laughing!" "AAAH SOOOO GOOD!" I have never done anything like this before as far as one day to do EVERYTHING but it was so much fun!

I especially enjoyed the bloopers that took place during rehearsals! For instance one was when we were fighting and throwing water in each others faces someone had put way more water in the one glass and I had seen them actually pouring water out of one glass so I assumed that they did it to both glasses. Low and behold when I threw it at Shawns face the glass was pretty full and about 3/4 of it went right into his eye. We were all laughing so hard that I was a pretty glad it happened in rehearsal because if it had only happened in the performance who knows what would have happened! I also stabbed him with several things while we acted that out. Not on purpose by any means!
Oh we had a blast!

And scene!

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