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Published: January 3rd 2010
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Straddling a tank
And here I was thinking I'd make a sucky soldier. I just got back from a ski trip, the traditional leave after Christmas until past New Years trip from years past, my first in a very long time. I think my first since Al asked Erin to be his blushing bride, which was a pretty while ago. She’s still got quite a few years until she’s lived with Al as long as I have, something I’ll bring up until she passes me, which will be the day I move in with them. I have skied once since then, but one day doesn’t make a ski trip, you need the chalet/condo and hot tubs, random make outs, Loren catching some death flu, Jane’s Addiction on the intercom system, everyone wearing matching turtlenecks and/or coats, and lots of really foolish decisions on the slopes. We didn’t have the road trip there and back, nor years of tradition and friendship like back in the day, but you make do with what you’ve got. The ride back was pretty funny actually. Korean cell phones have a ridiculous feature which serves no purpose other than inviting mischief, so we accepted said invitation. You can send a text message to a phone, and change the sending number
At the north Korean border
On the East Coast, not really the DMZ. meaning they will receive the message and it will say it’s from the person whose number you chose, rather than your phone. For example, you can send a message to 14 people from a guy named Mike saying “call me immediately” and laugh as he starts getting 14 worried phone calls without understanding why. Or you can send a message to Casey from Mark who is sitting behind Mark and Maria on the bus saying “I sprung a boner while wrestling with Maria, distract her so I can tuck it” and then laugh when Casey distracts Maria and then sends Mark a text saying “close one” which Mark doesn’t understand. So that’s New Year’s, tomorrow I start a three week camp where I’ll be schooling young Korean minds on more important items than language such as how to play American football. Following camp I have a month and half off, three weeks of which will be spent chilling with Madhu’s nanima, Brad and Sarah Paul, and following in the hallowed footsteps of the James Earl Jones of the Southern Cone, Colin. I went on a conference with my superintendent. Some day I’ll go on a conference and fall into the
Some beach and giant statue.
Part of the conference tour. lame group, it hasn’t happened yet though. Monday was entertaining, the rest of the trip was a series of okay meals and fairly lame tourist sites though, but the company was good. I got some pretty kick ass Christmas presents this year, Dad and Jeni got me an Amazon Kindle which satisfies my desire to be able to steal books from the internet which overcomes my love of physical books. They also packed some clippers so I can continue making a disaster of my headpiece by cutting my own hair. Ski gloves and tea were much appreciated, with the latter being rapidly consumed in place of the Triscuit flavored tea they rock here. How you mess up green tea I don’t know. Watching people fall down is inherently funny, as I’ve previously outlined but I got to experience a whole new level. A student rode past me on his bike and turned to wave, lost control and slammed into an older lady. Before you judge me, she was fine, and other than embarrassed as hell and scared for disrespecting (if accidents count) an old lady so was the kid. But it. Was. Hilarious. She was pissed, he was scared. After
The new label
They added this sticker to show direct us to the tackle box and rope "life line" fire escape. she got clipped she did this kind of weird, exaggeratedly slow, bad western death throes, turn fall, her belongings spraying everywhere. Great. I of course hid my smile and helped her up and retrieved her belongings while she laced into the kid, but inside I was dancing on the shoulders of a bear riding on a motorcycle. Turns out Irish people don’t call Irish Car Bombs, Irish Car Bombs and sometimes get offended by it. I found Mad Dog Bleess after several years, he’s now driving Semi trucks through people’s yards on trash day, but he still won’t venture on Al’s dad’s street out of fear. An amazing 47%!o(MISSING)f men smoke here.
Five Things I Learned This Year: 1. I have forgotten how to constructively fill free time.
2. Adam Law’s still a heck’ve a good guy/friend.
3. I seem to be getting more awesome.
4. Kids are the same all over the planet.
5. Living without a dryer is the worst
Best Book I Read in 2009: Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao although the book I’m reading now may be better, but as I haven’t finished it yet, I won’t count it.
Stupidest Thing MexiAdam
Adam getting back to his Mexican roots. I did in 2009: Nothing stands out which is nice, probably not finishing my thesis before leaving the country.
Best Album I Heard in 2009: This is tough, I heard and liked a lot. Maybe Stellastarr.
Here were the Five Things I Hoped for 2008: 1. Law gets in touch with someone much cooler than Tim Healy, like me.
Done. 2. Al gets a high paying job near a ski resort. Vancouver?
Fail. 3. I finish my thesis.
Fail. 4. I don’t have to attend any funerals.
Done. 5. Obama lives up to some ridiculously high expectations.
Doing all right, we’ll see. Best Onion Article of the Year: http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/let_us_identify_the_faggots_and?utm_source=onion_rss_daily
Heavy is the head that eats the crayons,
~T
“I could use a little more Joel in me.” My friend Steph, talking innocently about personality traits.
“The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of the Conservatives is to prevent the mistakes from being corrected.” ~ G. K. Chesterton
“For Christmas santa (my parents) gave me the set of rockband 2, It’s so cool
My dong
I'm discovering that other than appearance, there's not much to like about having a snow covered dong. i have tried the three things (microphone,guitar,and drums), and I found cool songs, maybe you know them my favorites are Eye of the tiger and 'Livin on a prayer.” ~ An ex student (11 years old). You see how John Bon Jovi lasts through the millennium? I imagine in the future his music will save the world like that of Bill and Ted.
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P Funk
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Event Horizon - the bed sheets
Am I the only one that finds 'I'm gonna kick you through a plate glass window woman' as both hilarious and a term of endearment? Too many people get their panties in a wad and take to callin the po-lice. I'm a little offended that someone else is being allowed to wear the retard helmet. You'll be happy yo know that my horrible habits on food runs has not ended. The wife sends me for milk, I come back with soy-based meat. I don't know what is wrong with me other than not listening, caring, or letting an episode of the simpsons play in my head. So the apartment that we live in (which law helped us move into. Thusly sealing his spot as dude of the decade) has a big way too big window in the bedroom reminding me every night of that damned Event Horizon room. I'd be pissed for all the scarey moments in there, but it was sooo hilarious. Anywho, the trauma of years passed has stayed firmly in the back-burner of my pshycy and manifest itself nightly in the form of my spraying pee all pver the place. This always ends with me telling my lovely bride that gnomes through buckets of pee smelling water on us. Since we co-sleep with our baby and dog I subsequently have a baby and dog that smells of pee. The old neighborhood we lived in is goin downhill fast. Who'd a thunk a place in the center school ditrict whould be shit? I think they hired a new management team there called the MS13 INC. Well I gotta go take the plastic walmart sack I wrap around my baby as a diaper off of her.it's full of the enchiladas I feed her.