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Published: March 22nd 2011
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Harro every-baddy lah,
Well here I am in the sea of humanity that is Singapore. You'll be pleased to know that my flights went without a hitch and I managed to meet my good friend Elliot at the airport. He showed me the ropes with regard to the underground and explained a few things about Singapore over a cold one. After I'd dumped my bags at the Summer Tavern hostel we headed up to little India for a few beers with his pals Andrew and Peter, and I got to my bunkbed tired but happy!
16th March 2011 - Grabbed a coffee and headed on out to Orchard Road, where the map showed a lot of shopping malls. Turns out that they were the major fashion houses like Prada, Dior and Hermes. Not really my thing though so I just wandered around finding my feet and hiding from the sun, drinking weird cans o' pop like Winter Watermelon and Oolong tea. On the way back to the hostel I was caught short so dived into the loos on the underground, It was my first experience of a squat type loo (excepting France, naturally) and I emerged 5 minutes later
feeling like I'd been subject to the CIA 'interrogation technique' known as a stress position. As if I wasn't sweating like a pig already!
After a quick shower and freshen up I headed down to Chinatown for the afternoon. I visited the Sri Maryamman temple, the oldest hindoo temple in Singapore. The entrance gate and the roof paintings were amazing, and I left a little offering at the altar dedicated to one's private parts (better, stronger, faster)! Can't do any harm, eh? After that I visited the Buddha Tooth Relic Temple, not surprisingly a Buddhist temple. Once again, very impressive. I'm reliably informed that Singapore is one of only two cities in the world that are built in rainforest and a walk through a lovely little park that used to be a nutmeg plantation confirmed it. After that it was a trip to Thian Hock Keng temple, a Taoist temple (come on, keep up) and this was my favourite. It was a cracking little Chinese temple that is constructed in the traditional way without the use of a single nail. After that it was over to the Lau Pa Sat Festival Market, a magnificent Victorian wrought iron rotunda housing
a hawker centre (food hall to me & you). That evening I headed down the esplanade to get a few shots of the Singapore skyline at night and discovered that the Aphex Twin was playing there on Saturday night, result!!
17th - had a really good morning and found a few things I needed and found them quickly. Bought Vaseline (don't ask) and plasters (feet). I also stumbled across a climbing shop and managed to get a quick release clip for my rucksack, another result cos I thought I might struggle with that one. Dropped into the BK Eating House for chicken fried rice, that place is like my second home now!
After dinner I headed up to the colonial quarter for the Supreme Court, City Hall, Singapore Cricket Club etc. I then worked my way up to Raffles Hotel and took my Father's advice, walk in like you own the place, a technique that works rather well the world over. After wandering up to the Long Bar intending to have a Singapore sling I had decided that they had enough money and didn't need any of mine, so I took a quick visit to the plushest bogs
in Singapore, had a look round the billiard room and ended up in the gift shop. First thing I saw was a teatowel (I ask you) with the slogan 'Raffles, frequented by the Nobility and Royalty'. Well I'm not rubbing shoulders with that set of nefarious bastards so it's time to leave. I headed up to the Shri Krishnan temple (closed) and the Goddess of Mercy temple but all templed out by that time so just had a quick shufti and back to the BK to meet Elliot. He took me to the Marina Bay Sands for the rooftop garden (google it, summat else)! We then went to meet his wife Wendy and little girl Saffy.
Wendy kindly asked if I'd like to stay at theirs & how could I refuse! Got a taxi back to the hostel at 2.30am to sort my shit out and the doors were locked. Nightmare! Ended up doing a spiderman act and scaling the back wall and dropping into the back yard, only to be told that if i'd have knocked they would have opened up.
18th - not surprisingly I had a bit of a lie in and then spent an
hour or so sorting my gear out. Left the hostel and they never asked me for the rent for the last night so I figured they didn't need it. I met Elliot and headed back to his in Bedok, then met Saffy and Wendy at Saffy's school. Wendy then took me to a hawker centre for some proper Singapore food, we had Otah, which is a mackerel paste with spices grilled in a banana leaf, minced pork & noodle soup with pork balls, a stingray sambal hotplate, satay sticks and ketupat (rice), barbecue chicken wings and oyster omelette with oyster sauce. Yummy! Elliot contented himself with sausage, egg, chips and beans, so this place is all things to all men. All that was washed down with pressed sugar cane juice with lemon, all in all very tasty indeed!
19th - an early start today, at 10am we met Wendy's mum and went to the Joo Chiat temple, which is dedicated to the Goddess of Mercy. Wendy explained what was going on and how to offer up a prayer which I duly did. We then went down to Orchard Rd. but the weather was not favourable to say the least.
In the evening I managed to catch the Aphex Twin at the Esplanade Theatre which was too cool for school, and then went with an American fella called Jason to a club called Home for some Drum & Bass shenanigans. Nipped round the corner to the BK (where else) for a couple o' cheap beers and ended up hijacking someone's guitar. He was a busker and a big Beatles fan and called himself Ringo, A couple of lads were making a documentary about him and when asked one said he was from Croatia. 'you survived then' I replied, and I think he was less than impressed! Ah well, Crawled in't bed tired but happy.
20th - Today we caught a train down towards Sentosa, an island that also houses a huge theme park. In the mall down there was a National Geographic shop that had a freezer chamber at minus 3, for 50p a go it would be rude not to! Once on Sentosa Wendy and I had a go at the zipwire, which dropped over the jungle, beach and sea and ended on a tiny island at the bottom, and also happened to be the southernmost tip of
continental Asia. After that it was a go on the Luge and chairlift, an expensive day after a few cheap 'uns.
21swt - Disappeared on my own for a bit today, got the bus about half an hour out of town to Bukit Timah nature reserve and visited the highest point on Singapore. Sweating like a glassblowers arse! saw a snake and some monkeys, but no views 'cos of the rainforest. was going to go to the Botanical Gardens but I was running out of time so I contented myself with a look round Little India including Mostafa's, a kind of department store that has to be seen to be believed (a right Aladdin's cave) selling everything you could want and everything you don't want too! Had chicken Tandoor on a naan for tea and a swift pint. Super!
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