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Published: November 3rd 2007
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my Nepali family
Sandeep, Sangeeta, Renuka (looking stylish), and Dinesh Today was busy for a Saturday and productive in terms of research. Susheila, my language teacher and temporarily translator while Deepti is working for UNICEF for the next 6 weeks, came over this morning to help me conduct 2 interviews with women from the neighborhood who run the beauty parlor I’ve been going to. They were very open about talking about their sex lives and Nepali women’s sexuality. I’m starting to learn that women (at least the three that I interviewed so far) do not like using contraceptives because of the side effects, so they rely on what they call the “natural method”—pulling out. Unfortunately we know how effective this is. One woman I interviewed today had an abortion because of an unwanted pregnancy, and the other 2 women I interviewed both have sisters who have had abortions. I wonder if I can find statistics on abortion rates here, and figure out how safe the procedures are... They are done in clinics, but I wonder what the safety standards are.
All women interviewed so far also talked about the need for me to really being doing my research with women in the villages, not just in Kathmandu. They tell me
aama and buwaa
my Nepali parents that rural women are not as educated and do not have as much access to services, which often results in death if they need immediate attention but the closest facility is several days’ walk. I wish I could do research in the villages as well, but because my grant is funded by the State Department, and the U.S. government still lists the Maoists as a terrorist organization, and there is still Maoist activity in many rural areas, my research is restricted to Kathmandu.
Although these women I’m working with in Kathmandu claim they are well educated in women’s sexual health issues, so far they cannot tell me anything about STDs, do not get regular gynecological exams (mostly because they are ashamed to go unless absolutely necessary, and also it is expensive), and are not using contraceptive methods at all or very effectively, often resulting in often multiple abortions. So I’d say there’s still plenty of work to be done here in the city.
After the interviews I went back to Java, my new favorite place in the ‘du, to meet Faruq for lunch and talk about our collaborative work on sex workers in Kathmandu. In a couple of weeks we will start visiting strip clubs, massage parlors, and cabin bars to get a sense of the scene and start soliciting women for interviews. I’m getting very excited about that project! It’s totally unchartered territory, and could lead to fascinating findings.
Charis (another Fulbrighter) and a friend of Faruq’s who does non-profit work on development also joined us later. We talked for a while about foreigners’ clubs in places like Nepal and Bangladesh, and how ridiculous it is that they do not let natives in, even if they can afford it. Phora Durbar, the American club here, has a gym, tennis courts, a restaurant, and wireless internet. As a Fulbright, I can join for a discounted rate. I decided I didn’t want to join a place where I would meet more Americans—I’m here to meet Nepalis. I didn’t know they only allow foreigners (meaning white) into the club. That just confirms my decision to forego it.
Anyway, it was nice to hear what projects the others are working on. That’s one nice thing about being a foreigner here—you meet lots of other foreigners doing interesting work on things like development, human rights, etc.
When I got back, the family had just lit the candles on a birthday cake for Sandeep, who is turning 16. They sang happy birthday to him in English, which seemed bizarre to me, and then served the cake (which was awful—nothing like an American birthday cake). My Nepali aama (mother) and buwaa (father)—Renuka’s parents—came, as well as Renuka’s younger sister. I took photos of all of them, and then they wanted photos with me. We ate cake, and then buwaa told me (for the third time) how serpents help him to predict natural disasters around the world. He’s such a funny old man, and he loves talking to me in English.
Now I’ve retired to my room until dinner. It’s amazing how exhausted I feel after a day with Nepalis—I guess it’s mentally taxing to sit there trying to understand what they are saying and sometimes to figure out what they are doing. I need time to myself to debrief!
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