Mugged in Malaysia!!

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Hey ho ... You guys, especially the people who know me well will enjoy this entry ....

So i was not going to add another entry for another eight or nine days because that is when i am due to i leave Asia for Australia and thought that would be an ideal time to do a round up, however curcumstances have changed a little and as i said from the beginning this blog is about stories of travel not about sights - I have a new storry ... The title of this chapter probably gives you an idea about the content!!

Here i am in Kuala Lumpur, i have survived nearly four months in Asia with minimal problems and Malaysia has definatley been the most boring country so far out of the eight i have been to, that was until yesterday when i had my bag stolen. In the bag was my passport, visas, debit card, credit cards, mobile, camera, South East Asia Lonely Planet, Lynx spray, toilet paper and my lovely lunch of marmalade sandwiches!!


I have survived desolate towns in the mountains, flood villages in the jungle, riots in India and drug peddlers and lady-boys in Bangkok however i could not escape a bastard on a motorbike snatching my bag as he drove past ... There i was walking down a pretty, yet quiet road in Kuala Lumpur (will call it KL from now on) minding my own business at about mid-day, SUDDENLY i feel a tug on my shoulder, i nearly fall into the road, a little stunned and unsure what just happened, i see my bag put across the lad of a guy on a motorbike - Well it was more a mo-ped than a motorbike, he pulls away, i shout "NO NO NO" and give chase (luckily i am wearing my trainers for once and not flip-flops so can actually run) i run, faster, faster, FASTER - I have not run this fast since did the hundred meters at school in 14.6 seconds - Still shouting " NOOO NOOO NOOOO" in a deep manly voice. This actually surprises me a little because i have a high pitched laugh like a girl so have often wondered if ever in a situation where i need to shout at someone would it come out high or low and low is the answer which i am pleased about ... Running after this guy, no-one around though, i chase for 100 meters, the road is fairly straight so he is always in sight, as i chase a thought goes through my head ... "What happens if actually catch this guy??" Another 50 meters down the road it strikes me, as he pulls further away that am never going to catch a motorbike, unfortunatley i am not frigging Superman or Bolt (Those who don't know, Bolt won the 100m at the Olympics in a world record time) ... I slow down, angry, i scream out loud, suddenly there arre people about, i scream again, no-one aproaches me, unsuprisingly they want to avoid the screaming, fumming foriegn nutter walking down the middle of the road dripping with sweat having just run in 30 degree heat.

There i am angry, i approach the cluster of people, "where the police station" they point and say "2 minutes away" in a nervous fashion - I run up there, pumping with anger and adrenaline ... I have only ever thrown one punch in my life, everyone who knows me knows i am not violent partly because anger and violence is such an effort i can not usually be arsed, however i was ready to land a few right hooks on this guy - That really suprised me ... Maybe that is due to me changing a little out here on my travels!!

Arrive at the police, explain what has happened, trying to catch my breathe, voice all deep and froggy having strained my vocal chords shout at the arsehole on the bike ... They take me to the tourist police where i am usfully informed that it is a common area for this kind of theft and they are trying to cut it down - Not trying hard enough if you want my honest opinion, especially as there were four coppers siting down eating lunch when i arrived ... Anyway, spend two hours at the tourist police filling in forms, they want a description, this i can not give as guy came from behind and all i saw was his back, my description was, "black motorbike, black jacket and white helmet" - How many people meet that description in KL do you think - Give you a clue, more than half the population would be my guess ... By this point i have calmed down, laughing and joking with the police. But then get annoyed, they want the number plate, in my anger it had not crossed my mind to look at this when obviously it is the one thing that i should off done, so get angry with myself for not having the awareness to do that!!

I have no money, police man VERY kindly gives me 50 Ringget (Rn), roughly a fiver then drops me off at my hostel ... I know they will not find or get any of my stuff back, the report is more for the British Embassy and insurance people!!

Need to get to Embassy next for new passport, my Lonely Planet says where Embassy is, "Oh that has been nicked" so jump in a cab, driver does not know where it is, next guy takes me there and knocks 10 Rn off the fair after tell him my story - Was hoping to get it even cheaper but no joy there ... Without going throught he boring details, at Embassy fill out loads of forms, cancel credit and debit cards etc etc and call mum as need money to be transfered over to me as am skint ... Mum is glad to hear from me, afterall has been four months since we spoke, "Mum it is me", "OH HELLO< Whats wrong??", she thinks i am only calling because need help - She knows me well LOL

Money will not be available until the following day so have to borrow another 50 Rn off very helpful lady at Embassy for dinner and passport photos. In four months of travelling have only had Western fastfood once - Twice now, KFC!! They serve mashed potatoe with the chicken here - Bit odd!!

Oh, nearly forgot, monsoon season has started here, 5pm roughly everyday the skies open an dmore rain falls then i have ever seen, within 3 minutes roads are 2/3 inches deep in water, all drains are full and stepping out into it for 10 seconds is like stepping under a shower, soaked through ... What time do i peave Embassy, thats right, 5pm ... After the day i have had, sod the the rain and just walk for 45 minutes through it getting splashed by every car that passes by and getting wierd looks from the locals ... Next morning, need to get money out from Western Union after mum transferred it so can pay for passport etc - 119 pounds!! It opens at 10am, i queue from 9:30, first in line unsurprisingly - Then i get angry, the lady will not give me my money, there is a mistake on a form, she will not budge, i get angry, i plead with her, then i talk loudly at her, she says "I just work here" when question the rules and tells me to use another bank as their rules might be different. I storm off shouting now, telling her to get a proper job!! The next guy has the same problems but checks with his superviser and i am allowed my money, it was an easy problem to solve just stupid bloody women could not be arsed - As i walk back past her count to the Embassy i smile and stick my finger up at her ... Maybe not the maturist thing to do but felt good!!

Anyway, long story short, all is now sorted, pnew passport in had, have my money, although all in cash as have no bank cards due to bank account being frozen. My new cards are on there way to my parents, some how i need to get hold of those. Oh nearly forgot, was planning on leaving KL on Sunday but can not leave until Tuesday now because i do not have my visa anymore so need to wait until visa office is open to get a new one so for 3 days i am an, just like Sting once said "an illegal alien" but i am not in New York.

To sum up, i now have a cracking travel story, i was not sure what to do yesterday or today and now those days have been filled which is a bonus and realised when push comes to shove i will lay someone out if required 😊

NB: Normally at this point in a film there would be a screen saying "based on a true story, this was not based on a true story, each fact is true" ... I have enjoyed these past two days, may sound wierd but Malaysia is so dull it has certainly livened it up!!

As usual, not read this as can not be bothered so if spelling mistakes or does not make sense, tuff. after an hour of writing this in an internet cafe i am off to get a beer as i bloody well deserve one!!!!!!

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Comments

[Corrine Fisher]

Mugging
At least you were not hurt!