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Published: January 20th 2010
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Uncle Dave!
With my nephew Luke! With adrenaline pumping through my veins, I waved “so long” to Takamatsu as the 1am ferry pulled out from the dock. I had begun my long journey back to the States, figuratively and literally: the door-to-door trip from my apartment in Takamatsu to my parents’ house in Lexington took thirty hours and thirty minutes. In the greater sense, it took 16 months to come back home. In order to preemptively combat the onset of jet lag, I stayed awake through the four-hour ferry ride to Kobe, the hour-long bus from Kobe to Kansai International Airport near Osaka, and the short flight up to Tokyo. I was aided by pure excitement and more than one vending machine can, yes can, of coffee. From there, just a short thirteen-hour flight to New York, and a hop over to Boston, and I was home!
Now, as I write this, I am back in Japan after a wonderful three-week trip back to the States. As I wrote in my previous blog, I was feeling some anxiety regarding Reverse Culture Shock. I think the only shocking thing about my time back home was how unaffected by Culture Shock I was. There was a strong sense
Bah-be-que
Blue Ribbon BBQ--so good, you have to take a picture. of familiarity everywhere I was; my parents’ house, my brother’s house, Lexington, Northampton, Cambridge, New London. I realized that 16 months is just not enough time for things to change into an unrecognizable form. My family, my friends—everyone has progressed on their life paths at a normal rate. What I mean is it’s not that people have been stagnant; it’s that nothing has really changed.
Some highlights: For the first time since 2006 our entire family was home all together for Christmas. This year was particularly special because I got to meet my five-month old nephew Luke for the first time. Since his birth in July, I was aware of the fact that I had become an uncle, but it took actually meeting him for the first time to truly feel like I was his uncle. He’s such a good baby, and I’m excited to see him grow up. Second, I made it a point to eat all the foods that are severely lacking in Japan—Mexican, good pizza, gyros, ravioli, hummus, barbeque, buffalo wings, Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, etc. To no surprise, I quickly gained about 7 pounds.
I was also very happy to see my grandmother on Christmas Eve. She had a stroke back in July, but I knew that she would hold on until I got a chance to see her. She passed away on January 2nd, two days before I was scheduled to fly back to Japan. Luckily, I was able to delay my flight by a week and was granted bereavement leave from work, so I was able to be home until the final goodbye. While her passing was incredibly sad, I felt closer to my extended family in a way I hadn’t felt before. We gathered at her home after the funeral, and I really missed having her there. She was always one for a party! Rest in Peace, Nani!
And so, I again made the long journey back to Takamatsu, this time shaving my time by 3 hours. I felt excited to see my friends and girlfriend, start speaking Japanese again, and eat delicious Japanese food, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of how at home I felt back in America. It’s a feeling I don’t, and will never truly feel in Japan. No matter where I go, how long I stay, how fluent my Japanese is, I will ALWAYS be a foreigner living in Japan. That’s just how it is. In the States, when I went to the grocery store and saw people of all races and ethnicities shopping, I wasn’t struck by the diversity. I was totally comforted by it. I was thrilled to be able to speak native English with everyone I talked to. The Boston accent was music to my ears. I never once looked the wrong way while crossing the street. The cars and roads weren’t huge, they were normal-sized.
Of course, there were some things that I will and won’t miss now that I’m back. I will miss having a washer and dryer, and both INSIDE the house. I will miss the delicious ethnic food, good coffee, variety in beer, and the accent. I WON’T miss bickering between Republicans and Democrats.
Since I’ve been back at work, I have felt that the need to make a change is getting more and more apparent. There are many reasons to stay in Japan for another year, but the job is becoming a huge reason for me to leave. Adding this to the fact that I missed being close to my family, my friends, and that I missed BEING in the States, I have made it official that I will NOT be re-contracting for a third year in Japan. It’s a decision that I more or less made in my mind months and months ago, but never was fully able to go through with it. Now, the decision has been made. I am coming home.
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Jimmy
non-member comment
Job well done
I enjoyed your mature analysis of your experiences and your decision to come home. Good for you and all our love. Great picture of you and Luke!! Uncle Jimmy