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Published: August 14th 2010
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I was taking a nice long walk on the beach with Kumar. There was a rare moment of silence between us so I piped up, "Kumar, tell me something funny." With my direct command he switched gears between "friend" and "driver" immediately. "Oh...funny...madam, I don't know. I need to think," he says. He gets quiet and pensive and I can see he's straining to think of something funny to tell me. He's looking down at the sand and shaking his head thinking hard like I just asked him to find a Steak 'n Shake. "Nevermind Kumar. Its ok. You don't HAVE to think of something funny. I'm just trying to be conversational and thought maybe you knew some good jokes or something..." "I'm not sure what funny really means," he admits. "Something funny makes you laugh. You know, like ha, ha, ha, " I tell him. He nods like he's getting it. "But really if you can't think of anything funny its OK. I'm not going to fire you."
By now we're back in the car driving to our next destination but he's still quiet. After a few moments he said, "Ok ok ok ok. I have thought of something
funny."
"Oh good!" I say, "Is it a joke or a story?"
"Its a joke."
"Great. Tell me."
"Well, its not really a joke for ladies but its really funny. The men at work say this joke and I did tell my wife this joke...but, no, not a good joke for ladies."
"You've just got to tell me now Kumar! Tell me! Tell me! I promise I won't tell anyone. PLEEEEEASE?"
He caves in. "Ok, I tell you but don't tell Mr. Michael." (Mr. Michael is in India with us and hired Kumar to drive.)
"I promise I won't tell Mr. Michael."
He loosens up and does this wobble thing with his head which I swear every Indian can do. He has my rapt attention and I can't wait to hear my first Indian joke "that's not for ladies."
He begins, "Ok. There is an ant family and an elephant family and they're neighbors." Alright, so far I'm following it.
"The ant family has a young daughter and the elephant family has a young son," he continues. "Eventually the girl ant and the boy elephant fall in love. Their parents are furious. The girl ant's parents tell her that they'll kill themselves if she marries the elephant. The young ant and the young elephant are heart broken they cannot be together."
This is gonna be good I can tell.
"So..." Kumar pauses and does his wobble head thing again, "So the girl ant goes to her parents and says 'I am pregnant with the elephant's baby!!'" Kumar starts laughing to himself at his own joke. "And then...then her parents....they KILL themselves!" Now he's hunched over his steering wheel laughing. I realize that must of been the punch line. Man I wish I got it! Seeing him get such a huge kick out of this joke that I didn't get as funny at all just makes me come unglued. Now we're both doubled over in laughter--him at his joke and me at him.
"Wow Kumar! That is really funny," I tell him. "Now...like...say I didn't get the joke. I DO get the joke but say I DIDN'T get it...like...how would you EXPLAIN it to me?" He rolls his eyes and looks at me like "Duh!"
"Andrea," he says as he leans in closer like he's telling me something I should of learned in high school, "An ant and an elephant can't BE together. Its IMPOSSIBLE for an ant to become pregnant by an elephant."
"Yeah, yeah...totally. I get it. That is really funny," I say and just continue to chuckle at the un-funniness of the whole thing.
"Promise me you won't tell Mr. Michael."
"I promise."
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Chris
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How could you not think that that joke wasn't funny??