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Published: July 16th 2007
Today, we met a Dutch couple sitting at a little tucked away restaurant overlooking the Ganges. They were staying in the same hostel as we were, and thus, familiar looks provided an introduction to conversation. She suggested we try the stuffed aubergine or the coconut lassi. He spoke of their plans to head north to Nepal the day after next. “How do you like Varanasi?”
Though it had been unbearably hot, I expected to see a twinkle in their eyes, a twitch of excitement. Instead, both shrugged a little. “Yeah, it's... not quite what we expected.” We asked them to explain. “Well, we thought it would be more mystical, more holy.”
I was, once again, slightly flabbergasted. Varanasi? Not holy? Not mystical? Gordon and I had come across some of the craziest things either of us had ever seen in this city of the Hindu Gods. Yet the Dutch couple were not the first to voice such opinion. The Koreans we met on the train were, in fact, entirely NOT enjoying India. They did nothing short of hating it. Why? Because of the constant begging and hassling, the heat, and more hassling. The Dutch also complained of this ailment. “Everyone is just constantly nagging you, trying to rip you off.”
It got me to thinking, for I had never seen the act of begging or hassling in this way. Sure, it can be hard work if one is at the end of their wits, but for me, this is exactly wherein the problem lies; one's own ability - more than that, willingness - to adapt and to except.
Travelling to other places is about discovering new things; seeing new sights, eating new foods, feeling new feelings. When we experience things foreign to us, they will naturally make us feel out of place at times, uncomfortable, out of our depth. We can feel homesick, we can miss the everyday lives we lead back at home, but at the end of the day, if we choose to travel - especially to a place like India - we are accepting this. We are saying, “yes, I am willing to brave a different culture, a new place, because I want to learn more, see more”.
It therefore always strikes me as odd when fellow travellers voice their disgust with the local people or the local habits. Yes, they beg. Yes, they hassle. But who are we to judge them for it? We are travelling into their countries, into their homeland; if they must beg to survive, I feel we must accept this with as much grace and dignity as possible. If they must hassle us for a sale because they need to feed their family of six, then so be it. And even if no such reasons prevail, we are nevertheless guests in their home. It is trying, it is challenging. I find myself sometimes at the end of my wits. But if we try to understand their situation, not just our own, I find things usually start to become a whole lot easier.
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Yvonne Wells
non-member comment
Each person is on their own journey.
Hi Maria, What great insight you have for yourself and others. You have learn't much from all your travels. I am impressed with your depth of understanding. I think, that the dutch in this case, have not come to terms with what they are seeing and feeling. Your understanding and acceptance of others is greater. Well done Love Y