Taj Mahal - My Subconcious is Losing it

Breathtaking. Absolutely, positively breathtaking. I’ve been waiting all my life to be here at the Taj Mahal, one of the Seven Wonders of the World. The cost of entry for an Indian is 10 rupees and the cost for foreigner...750 rupees! That’s the biggest gap in price discrimination I’ve ever witnessed, haha, I could have paid for 75 Indians to go in! But no doubt, it was worth every rupee, Everything was clean, there was nice paths, beautiful gardens and a long hallway before entering the main entrance. Walking through the entrance felt a lot like my first time going to Disneyland where I saw the big white castle. Then, there it was, the glamorous Taj Mahal. It’s so elegant and amazingly beautiful. The white exterior makes it glow in the sun and make it seem heavenly from every angle. The reflecting pool in front makes it even more dazzling… it’s like the translucent water becomes a work of art just by being close to the Taj. The emperor built it in honor for his 3rd and favorite wife who died giving birth. It took 21 years to complete it, with 20,000 workers and 1,000 elephants! That’s a lot of time, people and fat elephants! Inside is the tomb of Shahan Jan the emperor and his beloved wife, Mamtaz Mahal. I love the Taj Mahal and I would say it is my favorite exterior design, EVER.

My subconscious is losing it

Some people really hate losing stuff. They misplace it and can’t figure out where they put it. When I lose my phone, I would get my friends to help look for it and the first thing they would always ask me is, “Where’d you last put it?” And I would reply, “I think I last put it on that table.” Later on as I search some more and I can’t find it, my friend asks me again, “Seriously, just think about, where’d you last put it?” And then I would say, "No, I’m serious, I KNOW I last put it on that table. I swear to god, it was right there!” I went from thinking to knowing and then to swearing to god but the truth wasn’t any clearer. My mind is trying to convince itself of the truth it just made up. It’s like my mind is playing tricks on me. Because the truth is, if I had total control of my mind, then I would be able to recall everything that I did that day. Every single thing that I do, no matter how trivial or brilliant, is activated by the brain. I can’t lift a finger without thinking it. So what I am saying is that the mind should be able to retrace every action that it ever performed. Even though this could be possible at the most enlightened state, most of us just can’t live in the present and be aware of our every action that our mind tells us to do. I know for a fact, that my mind knows exactly where my phone is, but I’m having such a difficult time ciphering through the thousand of thoughts that occurred during the day and I just can’t find seem to find the right image of where I left my phone. Or as some people say: I draw a blank. Then my mind would start creating a different image to fill in the blank! So now, I’m even more lost than before. And that’s when I stop looking for it and think to myself, “Why can’t I find it?” or in other words… “Why, brain, why? You have the power to retrace everything that you ever done but you choose not to.”

My theory is that deep in the subconscious of my mind, it’s making a decision for me that I don’t even know
about. It’s like the deepest inner voice that I can only faintly hear. It’s deciding to block off the memory of where I last put it and it could be because it is trying to tell me something. It’s signaling me to just let go of it because it’s not important. It’s telling me that happiness is not dependant on material desire. I won’t forget the things that I need because I will always be mindful of where I put it or else I’m screwed( like a passport). But things like clothes, phone, wallet and watches, I just don’t think so much about them and so it gets lost. It seems like an easy solution to just pay more attention to my belongings, but if I don’t care about them deep down, then I can’t force my mind to be mindful of them.

Presently, I don’t really feel anything when I lose something because I feel like my subconscious is making the choice for me: To hold on to what I need and let go of the wants of my life. I know it sounds like a silly theory but how else could our mind just block off that memory, I don’t believe that memory just gets lost and we forget stuff. The most enlightened people in the world are the most humble and only have very basic needs. Mahatma Gandhi only had a stick, a bowl, his glasses and his homespun robe when he died. Buddha only had two robes and bowl. Maybe happiness is discovering that we need to lose things to appreciate what we have. We’re careless, but with good reason, because our subconscious knows the path to happiness is to have fewer and fewer wants, not more of them. And I used to be angry that I lost something but now, I just let it go. If I looked everywhere and I thought very hard about where I last put it and I can’t find it, then I’m not going to find it anymore. Being angry doesn’t help it appear and only adds to my dismay. Buddha said that nothing in this world is permanent and so it is unwise to have attachments because it causes suffering. So in a way, I was going to lose it sooner or later, but the real question is whether I really appreciated it during when I had it. It’s not your fault that you lost it, it’s your subconscious’s fault, and it’s doing it to help you SO…Hakuna Matata!

- All you need is love

- The Beatles

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