friendship, modesty, chlorine

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where to start. ok so i have decide3d to stay at this place im at for a month. i have my own room with kitchen and bathroom adjoining. its awesome to have my own space but something about settling into regular life has brought about an intense homesickness. im not missing the place just all the special people. i really wanted to get out of this village because i want to see more of india. but then i realised that what i really am trying to do is escape from myself. be distracted from my fear, boredom, homesickness, frustration. so really, this character development i so badly yearn for is going to happen (i hope) by me doing the very opposite of what i would have planned. rather than 'doing' more i am going to be ok with 'doing' less. i have found a teacher who i am going to study with for the next month im very excited.
yesterday my friend raul and i went to a water park about two and a half hours away in chennai it was so much fun. there were slides and a rain disco and a 'tsunami' -it was really just a pretty small wave pool- (which by the way i think is highly insensitive and inappropriate name for this attraction, given that there was a really tsunami in india not that long ago that devastated thousands upon thousands of lives..) i really dont like chlorine though. ewwww iam still itchy from it. its really important to be covered upin india. my mum (who i hope reads this!!!) would be super proud i am dressed really conservatively all the time. it's all good and well but it really is too hot and can be annoying. however it is defintiely worth tolerating the heat in order to avoid any possible unnecessary lewd glances. no, wait. that's just it. a glance is totally something i can deal with. the issue is that they just KEEP staring and staring and staring.
in good news, i have made so many amazing beautiful friends. kindred spirits. people who make me laugh and who help me find new ways of thinking about life by sharing with me very openly. i love to hear everyone's stories and perspectives because they are often so different to mine. the mentality of so many of the people i meet here is so much deeper than so many of the people from back home. like i have beautiful inspiring freiends who i treasure but i wouldnt say that they are really reflective of the average jo that you would meet on the street. whereas, somehow i am constantly coming face to face with so much wisdom from the simplest people. the friends i am making are individuals who challenge me, who point out my flaws and are allowing me to shine in my real truth.
ok so i am pretty confident i will not be able to go back to a desk job ever again. in the time it has taken me to write this blog entry my back kills. i cant sit on a chair anymore at all. i just sit on the floor or squat. so fun . my birthday is coming up. i have foudn a woman who will do facepaint for me!!!! yay xx

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