The speed of light and stuffed crocodiles?

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20 kms out of Udaipur we remove our shoes and mistakenly hang delicate hand-made garlands of flowers, purchased from elderly sari-clad ladies flanking the approach to the temple, around our necks. Padding softly into Eklingji, a medieval Shiva temple, we follow a line of worshippers shuffling torwards the priest. He shrinks in horror at our attempt to hand him the flowers for washing and dedication, urgently gesticulating for us to move on. Bad karma: do not ring the bell, do not pass go! Oops, once the flowers have touched one’s unclean skin they are no use to Shiva and should be discarded at the earliest opportunity, which in our case turns out to be another statue of another or perhaps the same cow seen in many other temples. Having noted carvings of women being punished for similar sins (punishment involving large horses, bulls and toe touching :0) we leave suitably admonished. We knew we would regret leaving that cultural guide on the kitchen table.



A cup of delicious street chai (boil milk, add tea leaves, pounded ginger root and sugar) soothes the battered senses before we head on to Sas Bahu, a temple destroyed by the Mogul hordes in the 16^th century. Despite the Lonely Planet’s recurrent urging to rent a bicycle, we congratulate ourselves on having studiously resisted certain death resulting from running the gauntlet between trucks, taxis, tuk-tuks and tractors. Cruising past picturesque lakes complete with submerged temples in our pristine Toyota Innova is infinitely more efficient, if a little sterile.



Returning Udaipur, Govint suggests a stroll in the local park of fountains. At the Apex we follow a line of Indian locals into a Pavilion that promises to improve our minds. Exhibit 1. a stuffed crocodile, 2. a badly drawn cycle of test tube baby production, 3. a cartoon of lightning and the respective velocity of light and sound. Finally, the piece de resistance: three fun house mirrors. Incongruous does not come close!



These gardens are normally very peaceful, unless like us you step off the path and stand too close to the elephant statue adorning the lilypond. Casually ignoring the warning “Avoid photography, to slip when pavement is wet” invokes a peremptory whistle from the ubiquitous unseen guard. A whirlwind tour of the puppet museum and Bagore-ki-Haveli completes our day and we return to the Trident in anticipation of a good feed at the ambiguously referred to “wild boar feeding frenzy”. Stifling a giggle, the receptionist points us away from the restaurant and towards the wild life sanctuary; apparently it is the hogs doing the feeding!

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