The Big Spoon

---

Something is wrong and you know you are in trouble! Your stomach begins to ache and you feel like your bowls are going to explode. A bubble of air escapes between your cheeks filling the car with death. You beg the driver to stop while you leap from the vehicle and run towards the nearest bush. In a blind panic your shorts hit the dusty ground leaving you completely exposed. You assume the Indian crouching position and pray for the pain to stop. With one final breath you hold your stomach and let loose. Sweat pours down your face as you wonder how it has come to this. For a brief moment it suddenly dawns upon you - you were poisoned by the big spoon!

On our last evening in Kumbalgarh the hotel provided us with a silver service meal. Two waiters attended to our every need while Gino was overwhelmed that we had asked him to join us. We dined on the finest Indian cuisine while receiving a service and presentation equivalent to the finest London restaurant. The food went down well knowing that it was only costing us four pounds each.

To thank Gino for his hard work, Glyn bought a bottle of whisky so we spent the evening getting smashed while becoming rowdy. At first it was the usual drunken banter while the waiters attended to our every need. Eventually it became obvious Gino had bad history with one of the waiters. As Gino began calling the waiter "big spoon" the tension in the room was felt. As Gino began talking down to his lower class, everyone became uneasy.

As the night went on, Gino eventually climbed out of his chair and staggered across the empty restaurant towards the waiter. He grabbed hold of the young waiter, told him he was sly and threw a punch to his face. It was like a scene out of a Wild West movie as the waiter was launched over a table with cutlery and china smashing to the ground. We watched in complete amazement. Gino is 69 years old!

After a few moments the waiter climbed back up from behind the table slightly dazed. He stood there with a cut lip and black eye while staring with murderous intent. He quickly composed himself and walked out of the restaurant slightly embarrassed.

The next morning the "Big Spoon" made us breakfast. Once we hit the road, Glyn and I felt sick. The little Indian had poisoned us while seeking revenge on our driver. We should have known better, it did cross our minds something like this may happen. I think he put laxatives in our food...

"What Must Happen Will Happen"

---

Photos

Desert Road
The never ending desert roads of Rajasthan

Emergency Toilet
The only bush for miles!