From Dubai to India....

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Planty's version



After sadly re-packing our bags having thoroughly enjoyed our stay in Dubai and briefly experiencing how we would be living our lives if we were stupendously wealthy, we headed for the airport. Airports seem to become our second home as of late as in our first 2 weeks of travelling we had visited more airports than the average person does in 2 years. Once again, our airline was Qatar Airways, and those who read my previous blog entry will now how delighted I was to fly with them, although it had occurred to us yet again when we attempted to check-in, that all Qatar Airways check-in staff have the intelligence similar to that of roll of half used toilet paper. We were this time informed that we “need to have ticket home to UK” after visiting India, and when I explained to the staff member that we won't be returning to the UK until at least December 2013, I got the same response as if he was a pre-programmed robot unable to think of a response that would resolve the situation at all. After trying repeatedly to tell him that we don't actually need a flight back to the UK after India as we were heading for Sri Lanka I then felt as though I was being interrogated by the FBI as the 'useful' check-in staff thought it was somehow his business to ask about all of our travel plans including our hope to work in Australia. Finally we checked-in and were on our way.



As we set off on our 5^th flight in 14 days and left Dubai, I wished we had more time to experience it, but at the same time tried to get my head round the fact that we were bound for Delhi and stop being a big tart and just deal with it. We reached Doha (our transit airport) with about 10 minutes to spare before boarding our next plane, it felt a bit strange that I had been to Doha twice in a short space of time, and the only things I'd done there was have a poo and buy some water, I'm sure there is more to do there, hopefully I shall find out one day. So, onwards to Delhi it was, with a plane full of fellow travellers and a million or so Indian's, this was going to be a fun flight for sure! Thankfully the flight was okay, with it being a night flight most of the passengers slept, I tried and got woken up by Lotty telling me that food was being served, I don't like being rudely awoken but when it's because there is going to be food, I don't mind too much. By this time it was 4am somewhere, at least that's what my watch said and I was being served a mutton curry and it was then I realised that something wasn't at all right. I was eating a curry at 4am, but I wasn't drunk, I hadn't even had a beer to accompany my food, it seemed that the idea of being stone cold sober (for a change) and eating curry doesn't go well.



We landed in Delhi and had been warned by a lot of people that you know you've arrived in India because it smells like the wrong end of a cow, but surprisingly, Delhi didn't smell....yet. We got a taxi from the pre-paid service at the arrivals hall and set off to our hotel, I thought Moroccan drivers had a few brain cells missing, it seems Indian ones are world champions at being crazy drivers. Our taxi was a car from the second world war, or at least that's what it looked like, the seats were old fashioned bench style seats, which were very bouncy, and the car didn't have wing mirrors, although it had a rear view mirror, it seemed to be simply for show purposes. As we raced along the roads from the airport to the hotel, I noticed that the driver had a strategic hold on the steering wheel, while holding the top of the wheel with his right hand, his thumb was hovering above the horn, ready to press it like a trigger happy mad man. It wasn't too long before we were back to the usual horn beeping frenzy we had experienced in Marrakech, although in India, they seem to do beep their horn just to check it's working. Every car, bus, motorbike, tuk tuk, cycle rickshaw, person or cow that we passed got beeped at, and visa versa, with the exception of the person and cow of course.



We arrived at our somewhat backstreet hotel, and checked and went up to our room, this was a far cry from our previous hotel that we had left some 12 hours before, and suffering from jet-lag yet again, we went to sleep until the group welcome meeting at 5pm. We met the group which was a nice mixture of ages, the majority were British, apart from an Australian couple, who are coincidently from Melbourne (our starting point in Oz), a Swiss woman, a Dutch girl, and were given the basic run down of what to expect over the next 15 days, the sights we would see, the modes of transport and tips for our stay in India. Once that was over we all went out for dinner, the part I'd been looking forward to the most, I love a good curry in the UK, but I wanted to try a real authentic curry and experience the flavours of India, I didn't want to try the same boring crap that was invented in the back end of Glasgow.



After navigating our way through Delhi by our guide while we had the locals looking at us as our group of 14 people stood out like an alcoholic at a free bar, we made it to the restaurant. As we sat down and were handed a drinks menu, I, in my usual way looked for the beer section, and decided after my journey from Dubai, the taxi ride, and my long sleep that I had earned at least one beer. Everyone else who was drinking had the normal Kingfisher, a 5% beer, as I, in my ever so intelligent ways decided to have a Kingfisher strong which was 8%. As I have sampled many beers over 8% over the last few years, I thought this one would be fine, until I saw the size of the bottle, the strong beers I've always drunk have been in bottles of 330ml or smaller, this one was 650ml, nearly twice the size, but it was so cold, and so nice, so I gulped it down. I think by the time it came to order food, Lotty was slightly tipsy because when I asked her what she was going to have, she replied giggling that she was probably going to have the lababdar because it sounds like labrador, very mature of her indeed. Infact, it was me who had the dog sounding curry, I only ordered it because of what Lotty said, I didn't even know what was in it, was it dog or chicken? The food all came out and for my first curry in India it was sublime, absolutely delicious, I was looking forward to the prospect of eating curry every morning, noon and night for the next 2 weeks if they were all as good as this one. We all took time to engage in conversation with each other at this point, share stories of our travel plans, were we had come from or going to and what we all did in our home countries and towns, and the people we told about our travels seemed impressed, which is always a bonus I suppose.



The following morning (which started at 5.15am!) we headed to Agra, the home of the most iconic image of India, the Taj Mahal. Our journey started with a tuk tuk ride from the hotel to the train station, on the way there we started to see the reality of poverty in India, people sleeping on the streets, not just the odd person, we must have passed 50-60 people sleeping rough on our 10 minute journey to the station. Once there we were astounded to see another mass of people sleeping on the station floor, apparently if Indian trains are late, it's often hours, not minutes that you have to wait. Luckily for us, our train was on time, and we had been informed by our tour guide that it was the nicest and best quality train in India, unfortunately, India's nicest train looks like something out of a Russian horror film. On our 2 hour journey we had the 'luxury' of being served breakfast, but as with every meal in India, no matter what time of day it is, the dish is spicy, and this was no different. I avoided the pre-packed slices of bread and had the 2 veg cutlets, which at 7am on a Saturday morning minus a full head of alcohol, is not the nicest thing to have shortly after brushing your teeth.



The train ride itself was okay overall, not the best train I've ever been on but as we were to do a 15 hour sleeper train near the end of our stay in India, it certainly wasn't the worst we were to encounter. We pulled into a station to pick up more passengers and it was there that we came across a bull casually walking across the platform. In India, cows are sacred, they are worshipped and not killed, so everywhere you go, be it train station, or walking down a street, you will see cows, bulls and the odd buffalo walking around as if it's one of the local people. The other things about these walking burgers, is that they often decide to laze about in the midday sun on a road, blocking an entire lane or two, while all the traffic diverts around them.



As I previously stated, we had been warned about a certain smell that greets you in India, that smell gave us an immensely warm welcome when we stopped to get off the train at Agra, the doors opened and a pungent smell engulfed the carriage, the smell of a dirty camel's back passage mixed with mouldy cheese, vomit and decaying meat, which was far from pleasant to say the least. Our guide had informed us that there are many modes of transport to take in India, and from Agra train station to our hotel, we would be experiencing one of them, the good old tuk tuk. The tuk tuk is basically half motorbike, half car, darting in and out of traffic with no windows, doors or anything that is a compulsory safety feature in British modes of transport, so when a coach appears a few centimetres next to you, it certainly gives you a fright. We arrived thankfully safe and sound after a somewhat hair raising 10 minute journey, a journey that gave me an idea of what the rest of our trip would be like.



After a quick freshen up and change of clothes, we headed out for a day of monuments and other stuff in Agra. Our guide had enlisted a few tuk tuk's to take us to all of these places, each one carrying 3 people, and the drivers kindly waited for us at each site. The total amount we paid the driver for the day was 700 rupees, which works out roughly as £8.50, a bargain split between 3 people for a full day. Our first stop was to the famous Taj Mahal, I'd been looking forard to seeing this a lot, when people think of Inida, they think of the Taj, after Curries of course. We got our tickets and headed for the gate to be greeted by the longest line of people in in the history of the world waiting to get in, and I certainly wasn't impressed with the prospect of standing in the midday sun surrounded by the great unwashed of India. Luckily for us westerners though, we are classed as 'high value' and simply walked in a separate line straight to the front while 1000 pairs of eyes looked at us in awe as if Buggs Bunny was walking past doing the YMCA in a pink bikini.



We then had to go through a security section, understandable for such a monumental iconic image of India, as I walked through the airport style metal detectors, they beeped, but I was waved on, then realised that they beeped at everyone, and they were waved through, I could have had an entire rifle range worth of guns under my t-shirt for all they knew, what was the point in the detectors if they weren't going to check me? Stupid Indians. From there, any bags had to be scanned, Lotty put hers through and it was searched, then we were told that poor Sandgrounder bear wasn't allowed through. The security staff seemed to speak perfect English, until I stepped in an asked why we couldn't take the bear through as it was simply for a photo to put on the pubs facebook page, then I was told “me no speak the English”, pretty convenient if you ask me. I was considering hurling a barrage of insults at them to see if they would react, therefore proving that they could speak English, but I decided against because Lotty would shout at me. We headed off somewhat annoyed about the whole fiasco and went on without the bear, although we did collect him again on the way out. So, the Taj Mahal, its quite nice, pretty big really, although the palace in Disney's Aladdin film is much better, the gardens are nice and that's about it, I'm sure Lotty will fill you all in on the boring details of it.



From the Taj we headed for lunch, I was pretty hungry so I couldn't wait, again, our driver ferried us there and waited outside. Because I couldn't simply choose a dish from the menu, I reverted to my tactics from Delhi, I picked a curry on what the name looked like, in Delhi it was labrador, so in Agra I had a Hyundai. Feeling quite content that my curry would be delicious, I was slightly concerned when it was served up as the colour was definitely a conversation stopper, the entire table looked on in disgust, along with me, at what had been put infront of me. I thought there had been some sort of language barrier and my order had gotten lost in translation, the dish look as though one of the chefs had simply walked out into the street, pulled on a cows tall, emptying it's rectal passage and mixing it with water from the dirty open sewers that passed down the nearby streets, I didn't realise that a curry could actually be a mouldy green colour. I reluctantly tried the slop that I had ordered while everyone else looked on in amusement and to my astonishment it was rather nice, so that was lunch done, thankfully, next stop was the Red Fort. Once again, we climbed into our tuk tuk's and headed off, avoiding cows, people, cars and coaches, all while wondering if we were going to make it alive, when we wee greeted by a motorbike that had to stop ever so suddenly about 2 inches from us, I was scared to say the least. Again, we got priority entrance to this monument, and feeling like royalty we walked on inside and explored it. I'd love to tell you what it was used for, but I don't know, as with all monuments, temples and historic sights, Lotty's the one with all the info, I've just come along for the cheap food and cheap beers, which there is lots of.



After our long day of sight seeing, in 32 degrees of heat (I know who crap the weather has been in the UK recently, so I thought it was important to mention our weather), we made our way back to the hotel. We met up later that evening and went out for dinner once more, and after my escapade with the green curry, I decided to be a bit more sensible and choose something that I thought I would like, but I can't remember what it was, I've had more curry here already than I do in a year in the UK.



The next morning we were leaving Agra and heading for Jaipur, our mode of transport for this journey was a coach, leaving at 6:15am for about 6 hours. I wasn't looking forward to the journey but the sights that we saw made it all worth while and the journey seemed to be over quite quickly. On the motorway we saw everything from cows wandering around, to coaches that had played tetris with passengers and tried to literally fit as many in as possible. I've always been a bit sceptical about film and tv depictions of countries or scenarios as they're mostly exaggerated to grab viewers attention and increase ratings, this is not the case for Indian roads and transport. When a scene in a film or on tv shows the most outrageous and utterly insane things happening over here, it's true, such as the HGV that we overtook while the drivers mate climbed out of the cabin, climbed onto the roof, stood there, looked around a bit, a climbed back inside, while going at some stupid speed on the motorway. We arrived in Jaipur but had to drop someone off at the bus station first, but the locals seemed to flock towards the bus, ready to get us into their taxi, tuk tuk or whatever mode of transport they had to offer. As we pulled out of the bus station, leaving for our hotel, I had a guy come up to my window and ask if I need a cycle rickshaw. I wasn't too sure if he was high on drugs or serious, could he not see that I was on a coach leaving the bus station? They really do try anything to get money from you. We arrived at our hotel a short while later and got ourselves settled.



Our first few days in India had been a whole new experience, it was the total opposite of Dubai, more insane than Morocco, but I loved it. I love the attitude people have over here, and the excitement of every journey by tuk tuk, it's just so amazing. I think one of the best things about India so far is that the food is good, the beer is cold, and our group have got on really well considering the variances in age, the next few days should be good.



Lotty's version:

We had spent not enough time and too much money in Dubai and very soon it was time to leave!

The check in desk attempted to hinder our exit in a similar effort to Casablanca. The thought of having to stay in Dubai however was not as depressing as having to stay in Casablanca! We left Dubai around 12.20 and bizzarly arrived in Doha at 12.15. We were rushed straight to our next plane which was about to board. 3.5 hours, 1 curry and about 20 mins later we arrived in Delhi, 8.30 local time. We collected our bags and made our way to a government controlled prepayed taxi desk we had been instructed was best to use. We purchased tickets no problem and headed out to find our taxi. Now you would expect a government service to provide relatively comfortable vehicles... Of course not! Our "taxi" looked like it predated British rule of India and smelt of goats, not a winning combination! We were tired, our bags heavy and had just come from the glitz and glamour of Dubai where a vehicle like that would have probably been a public offence. I remember thinking what are we letting ourselves in for.... This thought getting more hysterical as we got further into the depths of Delhi.

we arrived at the hotel that was to be our starting point, a tiny narrow foyer in the back of beyond and checked in. The young man with a massive handlebar moustache behind reception asked if wanted a taxi into Delhi for sightseeing, however we declined, not wanting to face India without feeling alert and awake so chose a couple of hours sleep instead. Eight hours later we awoke with just enough time to get ready to meet our group. We had slept through loud music, dogs barking and the constant beeping of horns that was Delhi. Our group is fab, a good mix if ages and backgrounds. We went for a group dinner after, negotiating people, traffic and rubbish we were taken to a restaurant chosen by our guide for its slightly higher cleanliness standards whilst maintaining a authentic feel. We ordered kingfishers and curry, the beer was just over £1 for a huge bottle and it was freezing and the curry was amazing but more similar to what we get at home than expected.

The next morning we were up for 4.30 to catch a train to Agra. Although we had slept through Delhi I do not regret it. India is amazing, however we were not in the right frame of mind to see that and when we woke up we were positive and ready to see what India had to offer.

We went in tuk tuks to the train station. These quickly became our favourite mode of transport. Wizzing down the roads you see everything from all angles and after a few near misses you begin to enjoy the experience.

We spoke of Marrakech like it was out of this world. If that is the case then India is in a whole different solar system! Its insane. Im writing this blog on the bus on day 3. It is so tough to concentrate, and take my eyes off the window. There are people and traffic everywhere, poverty is a way of life and cows rule the streets. There is wasteland full of rubbish everywhere and on these dogs, pigs, monkeys and cows fight over rubbish. There are horses, donkeys goats and buffalo tied up to every house. packs of dogs trot round, scruffy and heartbreaking but each one with so much purpose! Everything is skinny and malnourished, especially the dogs and the people but with the exception of the cows. The cow is worshipped in Hinduism as she is the symbol of fertility and nurturing. Every morning people feed them scraps and they literally roam everywhere. We saw a mother and calf lying on the inside lane of a rounderbout. The Indians do not bat an eyelid!

Anyway the 5am tuk tuk ride to the airport was an experience in itself. The constant beeping never ceases, neither does the traffic and the music. There were people and animals asleep everywhere! The concrete divide in the middle of the road seemed the prime location, how anyone could soundly sleep through so much noise is beyond me! We later learnt that many of these were homeless, and the government were attempting to house them, however for many the street is their home, so end up renting out their accommodation and going back to the street.

the train station was manic and the train was basic, we had a 2 hour journey to Agra, throughout which we just watched India go about its business. We had breakfast which was a spicy veg cutlet, mango juice and chai. Possibly my favourite sight that empitomises this crazy country was the biggest bull I've ever seen just stood calmly on a platform watching us go past.

We got to Agra, checked into our hotel and were practically straight out sightseeing. Apparently Agrabar in Aladdin is based on Agra. I don't think Walt ever visited it though! Agra is home to the iconic symbol of India, the Taj mahal. Built in 1631 by Shan jahan as a symol of love for his late wife Mumtaz Mahal. Planty, Louise and I set out with our tuk tuk driver for the day, a cheery chap with a gingery red henna dye over the top of his hair, to our first stop, the Taj. It is an amazing building! Dominating but beautiful. The experience was slightly tarninshed by the crowds and the heat, the Indians are obviously concerned about the safety of the monument too because getting through the queues and security at gate was horrendous! Entry into the Taj is through four huge gates, once in you can actually go inside and see the tombs of the emperor and his wife.

After the Taj we went for lunch, I went for a tandori option thinking I'd have a curry later on. What sounded amazing on the menu looked like big sheep pellets and was quite dry, I borrowed some of plantys sauce from his chicken and spinich curry which was of a green sludge consistency... Needless to say the resulting combination was not the most appetizing. Tasted good though! After lunch we went to the red fort. This is a red sandstone fortification on the banks of the Yamuna river built in 1565 as a military structure but later becoming a palace. The fort has a long military history, including as a British garrison and parts are still in use today.It had an amazing view if the Taj mahal which was apt as shortly after construction of the Taj was finished, the emperor was overthrown and imprisoned in the fort for the rest of his life. However there is not that much to see and it was still extremely hot so we didn't stay long. Our final stop was itimad-ud-daulah or "baby Taj" a smaller more intricate tomb of an army general. By this point we had, had enough and went back to the hotel for a nap before dinner.

Dinner consisted of a curry and kingfisher. it was of a much more appertizing colour and consistency then lunch and was medium to them but made my eyes water and my nose run! After that was bed before a 6am wake up to catch the bus! Beeping appears a quintessential Indian tradition. Im not sure but maybe there is structure to it, like a road users language. Anyway our bus had a particularly loud one and it went on for 6 hours! Post monsoon everything is green and lush, however the roads are allegedly worse than usual, making a bumpy ride! We go through towns and villages, people stare at us in our western dress, we stare back at them in their beautiful colours, intricate designs and sparkles. Children beg, however we were briefed to ignore them as it causes the kids to skip school and they rarely see any of it anyway. Cows wander round, traffic dodges them! We see goats, chickens, buffalo, donkeys but no sheep, making me wonder what was in my mutton curry! People live, wash sleep eat at the side if the road. We pass them as we trundle along, eating our "magic masala" lays. It is safe to say India is crazy, but we are having an amazing time!!

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