Subcontinental Drift: Chapter Seventeen - Random Thoughts

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31 July Lahore, Punjab, Pakistan

Here are some more random thoughts on traveling through India, again in no particular order:

1. A hotel room advertising air conditioning is only as good as the electrical grid that supports it.
2. Upon being subjected to a handful of Bollywood action films, I long for the thespian acumen of Brian Bosworth.
3. Whoever the CEO is of Lay’s potato chips for India, is a very influential person.
4. In order to make a public phone call in India, it is necessary to find the ubiquitous booths labeled STD. With that kind of title, I fear contracting syphilis every time I touch the receiver.
5. Men are very touchy-feely with each other. They hold hands in public. Do not ever challenge their sexual orientation.
6. From the moment I arrived, and even through the darkest, nastiest streets of Agra and Delhi, I have never once felt threatened while in India. I could not say the same after a night out wandering Hartford, Baltimore, or Philadelphia.
7. Indians sneeze often. I swallow the natural declaration of “God Bless You!” because it would not make any sense to anyone.
8. Whatever appeals to you on a restaurant menu, they don’t have it. Believe me.
9. Just because the sign reads outside the restaurant, “Breakfast Served Here”, it doesn’t mean they’ll be serving it to you that morning, or that week.
10. While traveling by bus through India, there are no bus stops per se. Instead, when passengers announce they need to disembark, the driver kindly slows down and they jump off running. So remember: There are no bus stops, just bus slow-down areas.

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