A 'log' of events or a 'free flow' of ideas......

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Whenever I sit to write these blogs, my normal routine consists of compiling tid bits of information jotted down in a journal and trying to weave something into logical form for the readers enjoyment. Last night I looked at my point form notes and was at a loss as to how to formulate a blog tale.....thus, my solution is to do the opposite, in true Indian fashion, and tell each point-form note as it lays in my journal which should give way to complete and utter randomness (how exciting!). Oh, and please mind the spelling mistakes Spell check is not working and despite 18 years of schooling my knees would still shake at a spelling bee....

But before I begin, I had to make one clever "tip of the hat" (as always) to the title. This of course, relates to this first note:

- Urine everywhere and man pooing

Literally everywhere. Since we have arrived in India, we have noticed a trend. Urine. Everywhere. In some places, in particular gems of towns, you can even see streaks of wettness following from the walls that line the sidewalks where people stand on the streets and releive their bladders. The wave of urine smells come at complete random times, and overcome your senses like a 10 foot wave. The most incredible urine smells come from the train, where the bathrooms evacuate the number 1's (and even 2's!) rights onto the train tracks. So if you are sitting down wind the bathrooms or stopped on a certain station you can literally be jolted awake but such odours and nobody but Alex and I hold are noses and grit and bare the stench. We even saw a few 3 year olds standing (outside!) the stalls with their parents and allowed to urinate in the train cart. Oh, but it gets better. 20% of the Indian population don't wear shoes. Enough said........Okay, maybe one more thing: On one recent occasion, as we were pulling into a city station I literally saw, outside my train window, a man.......3 feet from the train......squatted.......and.........yup........pooing!!!!!!

- Puke face man

One horrible reality of Inida is the poverty and beggars that fill the streets. While we give as much as we can, to people who we deem the most unfortunate (usually amputees or people who have physical ailments), there are those that are relentless and become very overwhelming. They grab at your arms, and your heart bleeds for them. Many have babies wrapped in blankets and others have children begging for them. On one occasion we were most startled when a decheveled man came begging while we were waiting at a stop light in a rickshaw. He came up, startling Alex completely by grabbing at her arm, and he was covered in puke. The puke was dripping off his beard. It was intense to say the least.

- Hit by a car

Oh this one is a gem. In certain cities crossing the street seems to almost equate certain death. Okay, maybe that is extreme, but it is THAT dangerous. Our usual routine is to find another Indian who is crossing, obviously used to the chaos, and walk when them. Yesterday we were in a Bazaar visiting the Asia's largest Mosque and were halfway across the street when a large while SUV's rearview mirror slammed into my left elbow. THUD!!!!
Alex: "oh my god, did you just get hit by a car?"
Kiki: "yes"

- IMAX experience - subway

We found a movie theatre in Hydrabad which is literally like walking into the western world. Outside on the streets lays dust, blazzing heat, horns, rickshaws, saris and everything traditionally "India". But within the IMAX walls lies airconditioning, McDonalds, Subway sandwiches, Mars bars, popcorn, movies like Angles and Demons and semi clean bathrooms. We went two days in a row, set on seeing at least one Hindi film, but left watching only two English films. We were the worst dressed people in the building. The IMAX is Modern India - skinny jeans and cute shoes. We shifted around in dirty ali babas, hair in buns, make up free feeling like we were chanelling a connection back to a life we once knew through Tom Hanks.

- Puppies in Kerla

Oh so cute!! We stayed in Varkala for about 8 days as the weather blessed us with 8 days of sunshine by the beach. There, we were constantly in the company with the cutest puppies, stray and covered in flees, but cute none the less. We befriended a puppy named "Lucky" for being rescued by the waiters that worked there. Lucky was a barrel of joy and other dogs would come into the restaurant to play with him. Soon, we had a doggie posey, or "pack" that would walk us home every night to our guesthouse, through two sets of gaits, up 3 flights of stairs, so that we would get some safely - or as we liked to think so.

- Fake yoga master - creep!

This urks me just writing about him again. What a fake!!! However, we should have known better. We met this creep initially on the beach where he was catching some rays between handing out yoga flyers. At this point we had not yet dabbled in yoga the entire time in India, so we decided to meet the psuedo yogi man at this guesthouse for 8am yoga the next morning. After an hour of chanting and whipping our bodies awkwardly in spastic motions we left 200 rupees less rich and 'enlightened' with muscle achs for days later. After our session completed, the yogi man revealed he was really an artist. I was intrigued and he started to pull out pictures of his work, all curiously nude abstracts entitled "German Woman Naked." As we flipped through the deck, we noticed that Germany wasn't the only country that has made contact with the creepy yogi man. He has 'mastered' other paintings such as "Swedish Woman Naked" and, well, you get the idea.

- Pundicherrry food

I can't even write about this joyous place without salivating. Dishes traditional to France flow like soft butter on a warm croissant in this town. Not to mention the amazing coffee....if we spent longer in this town you would have had to roll our fat arses home in our elastic wasted ali babas!!!! mmmmmmmm.

- Boob grab

Oh how could I forget to tell you about the boob grab!!! On Alex's bday, May 24th, we were finishing a meal with a bakery treat with a match for birthday wishes when the rain started to fall like sheets. We tried to wait for it to stop before heading back to our hotel, but the streets were beginning to flood and we feared waiting would only get worse so we left and started trudging through 15 cm of water. On our way down one alley we were confronted by a man (presumably who had 5 mins earlier stumbled out of a bar). He seemed to always be in my way as I walked. I weaved through the streets trying to avoid this man as Alex was a few meters ahead and just as we were approaching our connecting street, it happened. He reached out, completely on mark and grabbed my boob! I stopped dead in my tracks, swung my heavy, drenched hair around and noticed he was already a good 3 meters away from me. Alex wurled around to find me shouting: "don't you fucking touch me!!!!!" and so forth and so on. In retrospect, I think I am mostly amazed by how accurately his grab was in the blinding pouring rain!

- Big size

Shoe shopping in India is not a walk in the park. While Alex can just squeeze her size 9's in a pair or two, I find it nearly impossible to fit anything. We spent one determined afternoon looking for shoes with no luck. But what is funny is that every shop keeper, no matter how far we are away from our shop, takes 10 seconds to look at us, look at our feet and call out: "Please come. We have big size!"

- 4:45am off train

Getting off at the wrong train stop is one thing. Getting off at the wrong train stop at 4:45am is another. Train travel is difficult in India because it is hard to know when to get off if you are a stop along the route and not the end of the route. So travelling from Varkala to Pundicherry, we were forced to set the alarm for 4am. With my blurried morning eyes I thought I saw our stop - starting with "V" - and jolted Alex awake saying it was "our stop"!! And to "get up"!!! We threw our shit into a bag, got off the train to see it go off and then realize in fact, it was one stop early. Such as India travel.......Alex was nicer to me than I would have been to myself for such a miscalculation in the wee morning hours 😊

- Dead dog

We saw a dead dog on the beach in Mallamapurum. It had been there for a few days, likley. It was really sad and shocking. We were previously writing fun things in the sand, walking with the salt breeze in our hair, thinking how lovely a day it was when a half roasted in the sun, decaying dead dog lay on the beach with blood still stained in the sand flowing from its mouth. We turned around and headed back mentioned it to a few locals who didn't bat an eye.

- German who drank poison water, and rat in tank

Well there was this German we met who drank poisonous water and found a rat in his water tank. I don't have much time to relay the details but I think you get the idea. Crazy. Bottled water is the moral of the story - if only it also flowed from the showers!

Other points in my notes that are less intresting are

- flying cockroach
-Indian family dinner
-Jasmine in hair and hair oil
-Jewellery - marriage and cleaning

Though they are all good points, I will have to ask that you use your imagination or I will share at some point when I return. There is just so much to tell everyone and so little time on the internet! But I will say again that we are having a blast in India (despite some of the above sensationalized, yet accurate, news!). We have now travelled 1 and a half months in the south and are heading for another 1 and a half in the north. Today we are gearing up for a 35 hour train journey - we will arive in Varanasi on Monday, then to see the Taj and then head to Rajistan to experience the desert on camel back.

We miss everyone so much and enjoy hearing from you always. Until the next.....with photos!

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Comments

[Joe Halajian]

Glad it's you travelling
Kirstin, your comments are very graphic and interesting, nevertheless, I'm glad that I am here and reading vs experiencing, them. The sadder ones i mean. I'm off to try and find your photos, Take care. Joe