The Tapioca Diaries

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Disappointed, dejected, and disillusioned with my 4 drunk nights in Ooty and one drunken night in Allepy, I decided that what I needed was a vacation from this my hectic vacation. So, while my 24 hungover batch-mates flew, drove, or rode back to their respective lives, I stayed on in Kerala.

In Cochin, a very kind friend of my mother’s (and now an excellent friend of mine) hosted me for another three nights. During that time, I visited Fort Kochi (by road and sea), which is a simply-must-do for so many reasons…one being its sudden Goa effect. There are quite a few homestays in this area (so no need to pester me for my friend’s address). One of which is a lovely Portuguese building which is supposedly where Vasco Da Gama himself lived in (I believe it)! It’s aptly called Vasco House.

Vasco’s café and Loafer’s corner are also must-dos. For the rest of it, make sure it’s not a Sunday, and make sure it’s before 5pm. I learnt both those the hard way. I’d rate the place 8.5 on 10. But before visiting Fort Kochi (there’s no Fort, by the way, it’s just the name of the area – I learnt that the hard way too) one should visit the Kerala Museum to get an idea of how Fort Kochi came to be, etc. The museum, in my opinion, was a 7 on 10.

Since I enjoy slow-paced, noise-less activities another two things I loved having done was

<!---->1. <!---->a harbour cruise: slow to the point of nearly painful until I saw a dolphin leaping about just off the jetty so energetically that it kept me happy. 4 on 10.

<!---->2. <!---->A cruise through the backwaters of Vaikkom on a non-mechanised houseboat houseboat. Really very touristy but lovely. 8 on 10.

Both these can be accessed from the tourist info centre at the ernakulam boat jetty.

I strongly recommend that Kerala be visited only during off-season, during the monsoons. It’s just unbearably crowded otherwise.

A rather arduous, but arguably worth it, journey is the one to the Athirapally waterfalls. I have never seen a waterfall so magnificent before. I sat for two and a half hours just at the foot of it. Could have sat all day. 8.5 on 10.

Do not visit the hill Palace Museum in Tripunithura. It was torture. 0.25 on 10.

And then, just as I had planned to leave for the beautiful land of Coorg, a cousin of a batch-mate called offering me a free ride up to Conoor (an hour’s drive away fro Ooty). I was promptly plonked in their car the next morning and on my way to Ooty. Now, the only person who did know the way was sitting in the back seat reminiscing his bicycling days and chiding me for visiting all the wrong places; resulting, of course, in our car making all the wrong turns and entering all the wrong lanes.

Nonetheless it was a fun and interesting ride until I became the fun and interesting part of it…after a banana plantation rolled by. The conversation that ultimately led to my downfall was as follows:

“Hey,” said the guy driving, “is that tapioca?” pointing to a banana plantation to his right.

“Yes,” said the bored guy, sitting beside me, rather matter-of-factly, “that’s right.”

“Oh!” said I, most astounded by the fact that they looked just like banana plants, “really? Wow!!!”

“I meant,” said the guy driving, sounding slightly put-off, “the little plants between the banana plants,” and he smiled ever-so-slyly at me through the rearview mirror.

“Oh.” I realized my tragic miscalculation, but alas, too late. It was a trap, and I’d stepped right into it. NOT my fault. But they just wouldn’t let that one go. So since then the title has stuck. I am the tapioca girl, they are my tapioca friends, and this is my tapioca trip.

Vasco House homestay: [e-mail] / [phone]

Backwater cruise: [phone]/ www.indoworldtours.com

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