Run to Kayak

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Sometimes, you gotta just run. Get out there. No ‘oh, but it’s too hot, or too cold or too dark or too sunny, or I haven’t got the correct track pants or t-shirt or shorts’ or whatever. Put on your running shoes and just run. No one’s asking you to break some record so stop looking for excuses. Just run till you’re okay with stopping.

I hate running. I hate it. I detest it. Me. Me who cancels dates or ‘catch-up’s because ‘I gotta run’. Yeah, it destroys me every time. Time. Time always wins against me when I run. But I don’t run to run. I run to kayak. I run to get to my kayak. I run to get into my kayak. I run only and I mean it when I say ONLY because it helps me in my kayaking.

Why put myself through that – just to kayak? When I’m on the water cutting through that sheet of glass, watching the reflection of the shoreline from the corner of my eyes, watching fish dart or even leap across the hull of my kayak, hell I’ve had a few crash straight into it, or crash into my paddle blade sometimes when I’m timing myself over a 200mtr sprint practice (nearly giving me a heart attack) and I’ve had to actually flag down other kayakers to help me get fish out my boat once or twice; When you are racing so fast your mouth is drying up from the outside and thickening with saliva from deep inside and from the corner of your eye you see these giant wings swoop down, claws lash out, and a squirming fish is now sushi for it, you just know. This is it. This is why I’m alive. This is why I breathe. This is why I run. This is why I sweat, or sleep, and say no to alcohol or coffee or drugs or cigarettes and sometimes even dates. Here, in this moment, I live, I wake, I dream.

I, who would wake at half past three in the morning to run 13 km to get to the boathouse on time, now wakes at half past ten and constantly seeks excuses not to complete her 7.5km run. Is it age? Or is it just that I do not look forward to delhi’s weather? In sumer the winds blow scorching hot and in winter it blows a deathly chill. I’m afraid of that city. It defeats me every time. I know and yet don’t know what to expect this time around. Scheduled to be there mid may. To start practice. What’s it gonna be?

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