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Published: December 19th 2007
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The beauty industry
I saw this lining the streets and convinced myself that some young indian girls had chopped off all their hair to fulfill demand for human hair extensions back in the West. False alarm. Drama over. It was Yak hair. Hello hello - it's been a while, sorry...
So am now week 3 into the yoga course. Things are going very well and am really enjoying it. Even the stern teacher gives the odd grunt of approval when I show signs of progress. I still couldnt tell you the names of any of the poses really, but I can pretty much chant without peeking at the words and even have my own regular space in the room for my mat and a swishy new silk bag to carry it in too.. any excuse for a shopping excursion.
Last week was eventful for all the wrong reasons. Room 101 in Hotel Airlines seemed fine to me, but I turned up in a cafe last Monday to meet Charlie (charming Arizona man - here studying for 6 months and suffering from a bad case of constipation) told me that the alarming number of bites of my arms and legs were the work of no mosquito he had ever seen. Cue a yogi medical conference where everyone had a good look and then gave the unanimous verdict of bed bugs. Ewwwww. I went back to Hotel Airlines to tell them of my
Xmas ceremony
Xmas tree in Hotel Regalis - Simon and John act out a gift giving scene - very convincingly problem - cue another medical conference with the reception staff and bell boys - only to be told it was probably because the room hadnt been cleaned... well that is hardly my job is it. I moved to Room 104 - but the following night I couldnt sleep a wink and ended up slaying about 5 of the critters which were cruising over my blanket (creamy coloured about the size of my pinky nail) and 2 mozzies for extra points. Im not sure they even were bed bugs, but whatever they were - I wasnt staying minute longer. Clearly the insect problem wasnt confined to Room 101. I made an executive decision to check in to the local swanky hotel and spent the next 2 nights and 1 full day holed up in western comfort, skiving yoga class, with hot showers, fulffy towels, cable tv, room service. It was great. I did have a fleeting moment that this as exactly the kind of corporate behaviour that I had quit my job and come here to get away from - but dismissed these thoughts when I realised that I had no clients, spreadsheets or status reports to worry about for the
Coconut Stand
Mysore coconut.. the strongest liquor to pass the lips of any yoga student.. foreseeable future - and set about watching more crap tv and drinking beer in my pyjamas.
On arrival back at the yoga shala I swear I almost got a hero's welcome. Having an illness, injury or severe case of neurosis seems to win friends around here - and I was met with the flurry of business cards and personal recommendations for local guest houses which might be able to put me up. I then moved into a lovely woman's house for 5 days who rents out her rooms to yoga students. 100Rs a night which is my cheapest room yet and it was lovely really. However now I have managed to bag a room right next door to the yoga place - yoga heaven at last. And the best thing about it is that a. I have my own western toilet, and b. I might have a remote chance of making it to 6am practice - for which the scores on the doors are standing at 1.
As I have settled in to the people and the surroundings I felt a bit mean about my last blog. But in the interests of blogging and recording how I felt at a certain time, I didnt delete it. I think I was probably feeling a bit lonely what with Milly and Silas leaving, and a bit out of sorts with my new pals. As I have integrated more I have got to know the people and in the main they are a pretty interesting bunch.
Firstly, nearly everyone here is alone - or at least, arrived alone. Most are very easy to get along with. Yes, there is still a lot of sanskrit talk of different poses - but Im getting used to that. It has been more interesting to learn that the "in crowd' who are a kind of clique of people hanging around - are really all pretty messed up, bitching about each other quite a lot, more than one of them has told they are "working through some stuff", relationships have been started and then jealousy creeps in with the other girls.. these people have known each other for 3 weeks!!! The big brother house doesnt have a look in for instant neurosis about who-likes-who and making sure you are included in every social opportunity. Its quite mad to watch it - and realise that although some people do come travelling away on their own, not everyone is comfortable in their own company at all and setup little communities around themselves. Also, for a bunch of fairly advanced yoga students - some of the people get stoned a LOT. One of the most grounded and normal of them was a lovely australian guy, who has just headed off to do a 10 day silent meditation in Bangalore... and he was pretty grounded. I am eager to see how he is when he returns. IT's called Vipassana - and Im NOT tempted..In general though, everyone is very friendly, I feel really comfortable here and am really really relaxed which is great.
In an attempt to keep busy during the days and not just drink coffee and lie around, I agreed to be the guinea pig for someone learning ayurvedic massage. All seemed harmless enough, until I realised I had to strip down to my bra in the first session and have my front massaged, and then the second session had most of my backside massaged. It was quite good to get a free massage of course, but for someone that I thought was quite cute - it really was a case of way too much way too soon, and the whole experience put us firmly in the platonic zone for sure.
I then went the valid, paying route, and have now signed myself up for a 7 day weight loss massage program at a local clinic. Thought I could use some "goodness" before the inevitable new years party time in Kerala.
I have zero intention of going on a diet here - so the results may be slightly limited for course, but I thought I would give it a go nonetheless. I was given a diet sheet by the "doctor" who turned out to be a very beautiful 25yr old girl in a full nun's habit(?). Promptly decided to ignore that as it suggests 2 cups of rice and veg per day, plus one portion of the "medicine". I bought the medicine of course - but it looks and smells foul, so not really very if I willever drink it - however I am now 3 days into the "treatment" which is a full oil massage, then getting covered in red sand and massaged again, then spending 20 mins sweating my brains out in a "sweat box" which looks like a medieval magician's cabinet. I sit their with my head poking out the top, half expecting the nun to come in and pretend to cut me in half any minute. It is a very strange experience - but has become my 2 hour lunchtime ritual and I perversely quite enjoy it. Being that I am not sticking to the diet at all, and am considering donating the medicine to Constipated Charlie - I am not holding out much hope that I am going to emerge from the sweat box in the last session looking like Angelina. I do think I have may have cracked their secret though - at the first weigh in the scales, even after 3 checks and positioning the dial to exactly zero, weighed me in at 12 stone. TWELVE STONE.... Hardly..that is the weight of a grown man. Am sure at the end of the week they are going to go - "oh look - you weigh 8 stone now, well done". I do feel quite healthy though so that has to be a good thing.
Have also done some admin tasks and firmed up my plans for the next few weeks. I have decided to fly to Kerala rather than take the train - it is xmastime after all - and then will be flying back to Bangalore on 16th Jan to meet Janey!!! Hurray for that. I then am booked to go to Sri Lanka on 19th January so that I can go and renew my Indian visa which expires mid Feb. I have no clue how to do this, but it cant be that hard - have decided in my head that it will take no more than a week - but only bought a single ticket just in case...
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