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Published: December 5th 2010
Day 3.
OK, so today I felt quite lonely. I left Villa Anjuna at midday and I'm sure they were quite sure they wanted me to leave AT midday and not sit with the Americans to say goodbye etc. Mr Lucky took the time to say goodbye properly though. So, decided with Sacha, Ra, Tom and Penguin to meet up with them next Tuesday (Myyyyyy birthday) and go and see a massive waterfall in Goa on a day trip! That'll be cool! I left Anjuna with my backpack a little lighter than when I arrived as I left a bedsheet and some baby wipes there to keep the weight down a smidge. I had thought maybe the bike would be a bit unstable if I had too much weight 'up top' but it was fine... I went reasonably slowly and steadily so got to the Yellow House safely. Once I'd used the internet and unpacked a bit, I went for a walk to the beach which is very very close by. 'Big' Vagator beach. It is pretty big and isn't as touristy as Anjuna so that was cool... not getting hassled every two feet... more every four feet instead! Guys with long toothpick type things who would say you had ear wax and proclaim they could remove it... I told them i didn't have any ear wax. One of them looked and actually agreed with me so went away... after saying the other ear did have ear wax... putting his pin to my ear, at which point I said 'NO no no no no' :-) I bought a coconut to drink and trundled around the near area in the very humid sun to a beautiful look-out point over both 'little' and 'big' Vagator. Absolutely beautiful. The people up at this point were mainly Indian tourists with big cameras and lots of children.
I took quite a few photos and then decided it was time to take a bike to see more of the local area and to take more! Followed the map back to Anjuna and around some little roads there, passed a church and a temple in the same 100 metres, got some fuel, went up to a big clifftop where there was a long set of steps down to the beach at 'Little' Vagator and walked along past the restaurant shacks on the beach to a bar at one end to have a cocktail and sit around. Sooooo many Russians and so miserable too. All day, I tried smiling my biggest smiles at everyone (not just Russians) to get either a smile back or to start some form of conversation... nothing. I hope this doesn't make me permanently cynical as I feel it at the moment. I didn't really speak to anyone all day and I started feeling pretty lonely. I mean, a place where around 50% of the population if only look similar to me, how come no one wanted to talk to me even though it was pretty obvious I was open to some sort of communication? Most people didn't smile back. I may have been feeling particularly longing for a chat with someone, but it still didn't fill me with confidence that an 'amazing time' (like everyone's been saying to me) was in the pipeline... I actually started a little bit to resent the fact that I'd tried to be so nice all day.
So, thinking I'd meet someone in the hubbub of Chapora, I went there, to a tree where people sit around and where there's a juice bar with lots of young cool people hanging out. I obviously wasn't cool enough for them though, as the only people I spoke to was a South Africa guy who, after some polite conversation, started pestering me to go for food and a drink with him. i told him I didn't really have any plans and that I thought I'd just stay here, so he said he'd wait for me... the other people were two teenage Russian boys, admittedly quite sweet but couldn't really speak any English and then decided to leave. I pretended I was leaving with them so the other guy wouldn't try and come with me. Hummph. Off i drove up the hill to try and find some food, when I spotted a mass of blonde hair in the Noble Nest... Nigel!! No Jan, but a friendly face nonetheless! I stopped and went in to have a drink and some food and what started as a random 'bumping into' turned into a gathering of seven IAR people, jan and jean Pierre included! I was happy then and we sat and chatted about loads of things and we're all going to IAR tomorrow to play with the animals. Checked out another room owned by the restaurant manager (frances) which was very nice and 500 rupees and if I can't find anywhere EVEN cheaper, then I'll move there in the next couple of days. One of the centre workers has a 2 roomed house for 200 rupees! That's my goal...
I wonder whether I'll really start to love Goa, like people have been telling me I will and as everyone's loved it here, sort of feeling like I should. I would definitely be having more fun if I wasn't alone. I know this as a fact, but it's unavoidable unfortunately and i have to either get over it or move on somewhere else. Basically, most people are here with someone else and that's probably why people aren't interacting with me much. I need to find some loners... Parhaps I made a mistake in leaving the company of the Americans - they were so friendly and we had a lot in common, although it's taught me a bit about making the mot of what you have in that respect.
Goa is a bit like a festival. When you're at a festival on your own, it's just not the same as being with a group of like-minded people and having fun. You wander around, checking things out, observing a little from the outside and possibly not (from my point of view anyway) getting involved as completely as you should. That's what this is to me. It's nice. There's lots going on, but I don't feel completely 'part' of things yet. Perhaps that's really what i have to learn... that I need to be able to get completely involved without having a group of like-minded people around me to boost my confidence. I do like, however, the feeling of freedom in a strange place. No one can touch you or try to sell you things when you're on a scooter... although, no one can talk to you either...
I think a little bit, that my conditions of 'enjoyment' are different to that of people who are here with someone else. When a few people come here for a holiday, they have a laugh, go to parties, go eating in different places together, get hassled together and have a laugh about it etc etc. My enjoyment factors are whether I have someone to talk to in reasonably good english, whether people aren't grabbing my hand and asking me to 'come see my shop', whether men aren't letching on me (they do, quite a bit), so those aspects are quite different from each other. i don't feel I can wander into a party on the beach late at night in the dark, because I've been told the beaches are dangerous at night, however, if I was with someone, It'd be fine to do that. I don't really feel like I want to go shopping anywhere, as it wont be much fun as it makes me a bit uncomfortable and it's really difficult to just have a look (unless the girls in the shops want to talk rather than ONLY sell me stuff, which seems to be rare) and I today, i didn't really feel comfortable sitting in a juice bar in one of the busiest areas. Hopefully that was just down to the South African guy and hopefully, I'll either make some friends soon or meet up with the Americans again.
However, tomorrow's another day and I still have all the doggies, puppies and kittehs, my birthday and the waterfall to look forward to, not to mention New Year with Wilski and crew!
P.S. This blog started out as a blog for everyone - you lot reading it (whoever that is...). It's slowly turning into something for me. I don't care much about whether you want to stop reading it, as it is a little boring... I did this, then I did that etc etc. But, typing some of the things I say and reading them through again, often makes me think of something I haven't realised before and helps in the learning processes leading to more self-love, enrichment, confidence... and all that other stuff people supposedly learn when they go travelling.
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Michelle Alpha
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Travels
It's not boring, your blog that is! I loved it! Take care, Michelle http://www.globalresortsnetworkonline.com