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Published: December 22nd 2008
I know it's been a real long time since I've written here. I'm not going to make excuses, but rather just jump right into a new blog entry.
I just turned 25 a few weeks ago. Along with this rather momentous milestone came a bit of looking back on my life and remembering all that I've done. I was sitting there deep in retrospective thought when I made a huge realization. I've eaten a lot of weird food throughout my life. Some I've learned to love and others I've vowed never to touch again. I figured that I should try to rank them in order from odd (10) to downright disgusting (1). This entry is not for the weak-stomached. Enjoy...
10. 海蜇 (Jellyfish)
This is a standard dish at Chinese banquet style dining that people usually try to force onto my plate. Not a big fan.
9. 牛蛙 (Bullfrog)
Believe it or not, this has come to be one of my favorite foods. I'm particularly fond of 干锅牛蛙 (dry hotpot bullfrog), which usually includes potatoes, hot peppers, lotus root, and lots of oil.
8. Ants
I have a distinct memory of eating giant fire ants at outdoor school in eastern Oregon when I was in the fifth grade. We would squish their heads just before eating them or they would bite you really hard. I remember that Lindsay Powers forgot to squish the head and ended up with one gripping onto her front lip for an agonizing few minutes. They taste like lemon.
7. 鸭舌头 (Duck tongue)
I love it! Usually when you order a bottle of alcohol at a bar they will bring out some fruit or popcorn or, if you're lucky, a tasty platter of duck beaks with the tongue waiting to be gnawed out. It's actually pretty tasty.
6. Sea Urchin
I think it may have been my 17th birthday, when a few friends and I went to the crowded sushi restaurant in Sellwood, Portland. I made the mistake of ordering this slimy creation. Not so great.
5. Saltamonte (Grasshopper)
I was spending the day at Xochimilco in Mexico City. I can't remember how, but I met a nice chilango (resident of Mexico City) who invited me back to his house for a snack. When I got to his place, his mom headed straight for the kitchen to whip up a Mexican masterpiece. After a few minutes, she emerged with a snack to tied us over until the main course was complete: a bowl full of sugar covered grasshoppers. They were crunchy and most of the taste was in the sugar. Not bad.
4. Random Street Meat
I feel that it should be noted that I am a big fan of street food, especially meat sticks. They're popular here in China as well as many other place that I've passed through (notably Brazil). As a result of my iron stomach and fearless mentality when it comes to food, I'm quite sure that I've probably inadvertently consumed my fair share of dog, cat, horse... Ooops....
3. Cuy (Guinea Pig)
This is a favorite in Peruvian cuisine. I sampled this one when I was travelling in Cusco with my mom. Our guide took us to a "guinea pig farm," which was actually the basement of an old house. At first glance it looked to be a normal, dark, dank basement...nothing special. Then, the owner took a handful of alfalfa and chucked it on the ground. To our surprise, tiny little guinea pigs rushed towards it from every direction. I had always thought of guinea pigs as sweet, cuddly creatures. But right before me, I saw that this once cute and kind-hearted creature was transformed into a ravaging monster set on eating its fill no matter the consequences.
After that, we were treated to a traditional meal, with guinea pig as the main course. What surprised me was that the preparation consisted merely of slicing the tiny monster open so that it was sprawled out with legs and feet far apart. It still had all its organs and skin. I wasn't a big fan, but I ate a "no thank you" helping. The meat was pretty dark.
2. 活橘子 (A Living Orange)
I've been helping a Mexican friend of mine out recently by trying to find good textile manufacturers for him here in China so that he can save some money on clothes production for his clothing company. Well, my good Chinese friend, Ray, brought me out to visit a textile factory in 六合, a small factory town on the border of Nanjing. I toured the factory and got some price quotes and then headed out to lunch with the factory owner and directors. There were six of us in total.
At lunch, they asked me what kind of food I like and I responded by saying that I'm sure they'll pick delicious dishes. They asked if I had tried "living oranges" before. I didn't know what they were talking about but mentioned that I am a big fan of oranges.
The living oranges, however, were nothing like a normal orange though. In fact, they seemed to have much more in common with an egg than an orange. There was a slight difference though: inside the egg was a tiny little chicken fetus. The eggs had been hard boiled, so that most of the inside was yellow yoke. My new friends showed me how to crack the base at the right spot so that I could get directly to the fetus. There was a thin sack full of liquid and cute baby chicken. They then modeled how you slurp out the liquid and then suck the fetus into your mouth. As I was trying very hard to make a good impression on these people, I attempted to slurp it down as well. I soon found myself gagging with only a decapitated head in my mouth. I rushed some warm beer down my throat and tried one last suck. This one got the whole thing in my mouth. I promptly swallowed and once again rinsed with beer. I was queasy at the thought of it for the next few days. The rest of them continued to eat an average of five or six per person.
Taco de Ojo (Eyeball taco)
I was living with my friend Jorge in Mexico a few years ago. He and his dad invited me to a lucha libre match (Mexican masked wrestling). Jorge and his father had been going to these together since Jorge was a little kid. They had a tradition of eating street tacos outside of the arena before the match. I wasn't too hungry and was feeling a little sick. Trying to be polite, I ate one of each kind of taco that they ordered: cow tongue, cow cheek, pig ear,... They could see that I was a little skeptical of eating these body parts and decided to push me a little bit. They ordered up a plate of squishy, chopped-up, cow eyeball atop little corn tortillas. I refused. Jorge pressured me in thick Mexican spanish, saying, "!Oye guey! !No seas naco guey! ?!Que pedo guey?!?! Estas en el DF, debes comer como chilango guey!" (Hey dude! Not be lame dude! What the fuck dude?!? You're in Mexico City, you gotta eat like a local dude!) A little peeved by the fact that I was being forced to eat this, I ordered a beer chaser and prepared for the worst bite of my life. When my beer came, I took a deep breath and picked up the taco. I put about half of it in my mouth, bit, and swallowed without chewing. As it oozed down my throat, I gagged feverishly while the two of them laughed and laughed. Luckily, they didn't make me finish the taco. Worst food ever!
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Caitlin
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You Go, Guey
Impressive, iron-stomach man! Thank you for the descriptions which allow me to avoid those foods myself;) you kind, kind soul. What did the bullfrog taste like? chicken?