Panoramic Perspectives

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Your horoscope for January 28, 2013: The current planetary constellation is helping you to break out of an older pattern of relating, and encouraging another step forward in the process of understanding yourself. Change is the only thing in life that we can be certain of, and is a force for good, as it encourages you to look at the larger pattern, and find a deeper sense of purpose connecting you with all those you meet.

I’m not normally one to pay quite this much attention to my horoscopes… but something about this experience is bringing me closer to my examination of things going on outside of myself. In so doing, I’ve become focused on what’s going on inside as well. Adding to my reflective behaviors, I bought a guitar last night; just another puzzle piece in this image of myself that I’m building.

There is something very spiritual about Hangzhou in general. For one, the air is much cleaner here than that of most cities in China (we received a health alert as a company that the major urban areas around Beijing and Shanghai are under some kind of horrible air quality alert… it’s probably impacting Hangzhou a little, but not nearly as much as if I had stayed in Shanghai). Chinese tourists flock here during periods of warm weather for a breath of fresh air, and a walk around the lake. Then, there is the lake itself, of course. There is a constant glassiness to it that makes it a very reflective element in every sense of the word. Spread around the lake, to add to the metaphorical reflection, are bridges; beautiful, beautiful bridges. One bridge in particular has an ancient legend surrounding it that has been told to me thus: “This is a beautiful legend: a snake was once rescued from a hunter by a young shepherd boy. After this, for thousands of years, the snake practiced at becoming immortal. Then, one day, she successfully turned herself into a Beauty and gave herself to the benefactor of that shepherd’s reincarnated soul. She sought him out and found him on what is called the Broken Bridge, and there they were married.” The point being, there are so many ancient traditions and stories that are very, very present here in Hangzhou that I just couldn’t feel in Shanghai. This week, I have been feeling particularly fortunate to be here.

Nodding to my horoscope reference this week, my self-reflection is helping me to notice and come to terms with the divide between those people here in Hangzhou that I will certainly be friends with, and those that I simply will not. Speaking specifically, I really enjoy the local Chinese staff. Because of the nature of my current position at work, I spend a lot more time with them than any of the foreign staff. I have found that their general approaches to work, to each other and to the world are perspectives with which I can relate. They find that my general kindness and appreciation for them is unlike any of the other foreigners. That opinion hit me; I’m not used to having my “kindness” acknowledged as outwardly as they do – especially when it’s not in reference to behaviors that are simply the way that I am. I’m not going out of the way to be nice… I just… remember their names, say hello and ask them how they’re doing when I see them. On closer inspection and reflection, I’ve found an uncomfortable truth: very few of the foreign staff members treat the local staff as equals. The general opinion is one that places the locals as support staff, here solely to make our lives easier. While the latter portion of that is certainly true in that they DO make our lives easier, I recognize that they are people first. I’ve grown rather frustrated with this piece of my foreign colleagues’ nature, actually. It just rubs me the wrong way – especially as these are people that I’ve gotten to know quite well.

To provide a somewhat specific example: In one particular situation, there is a foreign teacher who is not getting along with her learning partner at all. One day, her LP was out, so Sara subbed in. That FT was so excited by how easy it was to work with Sara that she literally made an attempt to trade LPs with me in the hallway. I was pretty taken aback. For one, this is not our decision to make… and for the other, the only response I could come up with right then was, “…these aren’t crayons. You can’t just offer your broken blue crayon for your favorite color.” Part of my negative response was certainly that I had NO desire to lose Sara as my partner, but in a large part I was genuinely shocked at the way in which she approached this topic with me.

In fact, some of the personal drama at this center is starting to creep under my skin. As with any work situation where you work and live and play together, things can start to get petty. It doesn’t help that I’ve hit that 6-week point with this staff where we’re all starting to get comfortable with each other… I’m not shiny and new and claimable territory any more… and in all honesty I’d rather just keep my distance from the foreign staff. I know what it’s like to hang out with Americans… they have nothing new or unfamiliar to offer me. A large part of my growth and experience are the wonderful relationships that I’ve developed with the Chinese staff over these last few weeks – so I focus on those. And otherwise? I know why I’m here. I have a very specific role in the greater Disney picture, as well as in the picture of these Chinese children. I am also starting to embrace my very specific greater purpose in being in China in general. I have a purpose within myself, and a purpose in the world around me. And fortunately, those two things go hand in hand very comfortably. The friends that I have made understand my role and their role in this picture, and are dedicated to supporting both. Any of those who don’t recognize those pieces simply remain colleagues – extras in this blockbuster film that is my life.

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Comments

[Gramps]

Keep up the good work!