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Holidays in Hangzhou

Spending my fall semester in Hangzhou has enabled me to experience so many new things, but it also means I am missing out on things back home. It’s been interesting to see the difference in holidays in China and home. The celebrations that I take for granted as obvious aren’t known here. And I am very ignorant of the holidays here in China. I’ve been able to get through Halloween without missing home too much, but once we get to Thanksgiving, I think I’ll have a harder time. We’re getting closer to the big American holidays. I’ll be home for Christmas, but I will be missing the whole Christmas season leading up to the actual day. In America, you experience Christmas as soon as Thanksgiving Day is over, or even before then. Everyone puts up their Christmas decorations, and the streets are lined with brightly colored holiday lights. It’s getting cold, and usually we’ll have had our first snow already, turning the city into a winter wonderland. Christmas songs have started playing on the radio, and everyone is getting into the holiday spirit. This is my favorite part of the year, so I’ll have to make it cheery here in Hangzhou.

We already had success adapting Halloween to China. We planned a Halloween party so we went shopping. Instead of whole stores dedicated to Halloween costumes and decorations, Hangzhou offered us one shelf of costumes, and these weren’t even full costumes—just some wigs, masks, and capes. We couldn’t find any decorations, so we just made our own paper cutouts of spiders, bats, and ghosts. We had a costume party, if not an all-out one like at home. We didn’t have pumpkins, but we did bob for apples. We had Halloween-ish treats like pretzel witches’ brooms and dirt cups, plus our customary grilled cheese sandwiches. It may not have been the same as at home, but I enjoyed sharing what we could with the Chinese friends we invited.

For Thanksgiving, we’re making it special by having our own “family” dinner with classmates. Usually we get the day off from school to celebrate Thanksgiving, but we’ll have to make due with the evening. Since we don’t have an oven, we can’t make the usual turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn casserole, and pumpkin pie. But with a few adjustments, we can still celebrate Thanksgiving with a twist. We tried to order a turkey to be delivered, but decided an 800 kuai turkey that was only 8 pounds was not worth it. (At home we usually go for a 20 pound turkey.) Chicken can serve just as well as turkey, so we’re getting a few family size buckets from KFC. We can make the mashed potatoes and some corn, and of course some grilled cheese sandwiches, all the ingredients of which can easily be found here in Hangzhou. It won’t be the same without the big turkey and watching a football game, but we still can enjoy the day with friends.

I’m learning to adapt in my time here in China. I can still have those traditions that I love from home if I’m willing to tweak the details a little. And I know I will take some Chinese traditions back with me to the States, and have to adapt them to my life there.

It's in the Bag

While in China, I have noticed a few things about Chinese behavior, especially when it comes to relationships. Chinese boys have a few things to teach their American counterparts. I constantly see couples walking the streets of Hangzhou, and am struck by how attentive the boyfriends are to their partners. It’s quite endearing to see them always with their arms around the girl’s shoulders or holding her umbrella. The most distinctive show of their affection, however, is the fact that they hold their girlfriends’ purses. Now if this happened in the States, the guy would be considered “whipped”. Actually, this wouldn’t even happen in the States. I mentioned this habit to my boyfriend and his instant reply was ‘No way!’ I guess I’ll have to train him a bit more to be like the Chinese boys.

The expectations for Chinese boyfriends are also different from American ones. There isn’t as much emphasis on ‘being a man’ as there is in America. In the US, guys can be jerks, inattentive, and act like the annoyingly stereotypical ‘tough guy’, all those so-called ‘masculine’ qualities. But seriously, what is more masculine than being able to pull off carrying their girlfriend’s purse? Chinese guys on the other hand are expected to be caring, attentive, and obedient to their girlfriend. Pretty much sounds like any girl’s dream.

The whole dating scene is also quite different. I asked one of my male Chinese friends to tell me a little about Chinese dating. He said that Chinese don’t date like Americans do. The casual dating and multiple partners so familiar in America is not known here. Chinese only date if they really like the other person and see a future together. They don’t have the concept of ‘Let’s go out a few times and see where it goes. If it doesn’t work out, oh well.’ When Chinese people date, they are usually looking for a person to marry. There is no such thing as casual dating in China.

Entering a relationship is also a lot more formal. A boy and girl spend a lot of time together with a group of their friends. Then the boy has to ask the girl to be his girlfriend. Only then do they start spending exclusive time together. In America, it’s the opposite. You go on a few dates, and then maybe the guy asks to be your boyfriend—or not. Sometimes it’s just assumed. I was amazed by this. I thought asking a girl out was an old custom, but it turns out it’s alive and well in China.

These observations may change my perceptions of what relationships are. I think American boys could learn a lot from Chinese boyfriends. Girls dig a guy who is considerate and dutiful. And hey, is it that hard to carry a girl’s purse?

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