I'm so neglectful!

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If I was in Minnesota right now, it would make complete sense to be awake right now. But it's 3am and I have class in 6 hours, so I am not enjoying this. So I'm still here and waking up in China is still confusing. I still haven't managed to fully adjust to sleep here, it was going well for a couple weeks but now I feel I'm off somewhat. It seems that the little things (essentially the things you never even notice) are the things that throw off any sense of normalcy. I had a relatively fun week last week. I spent it socializing, getting to meet some new people, drinking too much milk tea, etc. But somewhere over the weekend, I had a very sudden mood shift. I was at Gong Bei with Panhia and I started to feel somewhat confused, as if what I was living though was not my own life. I felt very disconnected and very sad. I fell asleep on the hour long bus ride home which was nice but when I finally got back to my room, the same disconnected feeling rushed back. I spent the rest of Sunday feeling overwhelmed and anxious even when I joined people for dinner & tea. Part of me felt like, "If I ever have to eat this Chinese food again, I am going to go nuts!" I think it is inevitable while studying abroad to get these disconnected (almost hostile) feelings. I spend so much time just "getting by" when I'm doing day-to-day things which can be so frustrating! I can't just throw my wet clothes into a dryer, get in a car and go to Target, get on a bus that isn't nearly bursting at the seams, get exactly what I want for lunch, etc. There are moments when I just want to scream because so much is lost in translation (on both ends, of course). Despite the negative aspects of studying abroad, I have no regrets about coming to Zhuhai. I feel I'm seeing and doing a lot of beneficial things even though they are challenging, that's part of the fun I guess. I'm going to go try and sleep now, hopefully I will not neglect this blog very often!

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