I am not a number!

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We speed through Xaimen is favour of Gulangyu Island, which is well worth a nights stay, free ferry on the way over, 8RMB on the way back. It's just like the set from that old 60's tv show 'The Prisoner' where a spy wants to quit spying and he gets kidnapped and placed in a carefully designed 'village' for ex spies who know too much to live out the rest of their days. The lawns (LAWNS!) are immaculate, the only motorised transport allowed is the golf cart, there is even classical music piped in from hidden speakers from 6am till 10pm to facilitate the all pervasive calm. Much of the architecture is colonial style; French, English, Portuguese, even German, huge villas with high crumbling walls and invading vines. Many of the larger properties are owned by China's rich and famous, who are hardly ever here, which adds to the strange removed, deserted feeling you get here.

It's all very atmospheric and relaxing, you can read the newspaper on the lawn whilst sipping tea, then work out on one of the playground gyms found throughout china (a brilliant idea, basically it looks like a kids playground, and on closer inspection is gym equipment, stripped down to the bare essentials and not requiring any electricity...rowing, cross training, weight lifting, you can do it all for free in the open air!)

They have a giant rock statue that sits atop a cliff and looks out over the strait to Xaimen. It looks just like Queen Victoria from a distance but is actually some austere emperor, no doubt to warn the foreigners never to return to their colonial playground.

But it's peaceful, wandering the empty streets and makes a change from China's action packed, loud and busy towns. The sound of violins drifting down the Xiamen music academy. The sunlight filtering softly through the hanging fig branches, flowing smoothly up the hills, clinging to the old brickwork and wrought Iron.

We meet a guy from Hong Kong and a guy from Xaimen who are staying in your lovely terracotta floored dorm, quite funny trying to communicate together, Cantonese, Mandarin, and English, but they were really nice to talk to.

We go into Xaimen proper to visit a Buddhist temple in the hopes of having lunch with the monks, we miss lunch but the temple is amazing anyway, a huge pond outside houses millions of multi colour water lilies, giant catfish, koi, terrapins and herons. Inside the temple is almost built into the mountains behind, paths winding off and up into the trees, covered in moss. We follow one path to the top of the mountain, past tucked away mini temples and Buddha statues with the odd monk sat serenely in the scenery. The top is a sweaty climb but offers great views over Xaimen and to the Island we are staying on. Although you do have to try and avoid the black, hairy, poisonous looking caterpillars which cling to the small trees and hang from the branches on silk threads like evil lanterns.

Early start in the morning with a 22(!) hour bus ride to Guilin. The bus is hilarious and grueling - tiny beds, endless passenger smoking, and a mental bus driver intent on doing 80mph over the pot holes. You have to Hold On in order to keep yourself in bed, sleep is probably not going to be an option. It's like the Knight Bus from Harry Potter. I'm surprised it doesn't fall apart. But, I settle in with my Walkman and watch the scenery go by. There is a 6ft stack of what looks like a rolled up carpet at the end of my bed, turns out to be a speaker. A Great Big Speaker. The bus driver, an hour into the journey whacks on the stereo and I find out it's a speaker; Chinese remixes of Euro dance tunes seem to be the music he likes to drive suicidally to. It could have been worse though, It could have been Canto-Pop, and I actually have a weakness for Euro Disco, he even played the Numa Numa song by Ozone, I appreciated that. It's become our Asian theme tune, it is everywhere.

Of course, none of this discomfort matters when the scenery kicks in and the sun begins to set behind the budding limestone karsts, the China I wanted to see as the sky drains away.

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