Upset

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I wrote this when I was a little upset yesterday.

She's like a queen (Hui). All of the boys were sitting in the kitchen / living room hanging out and entertaining each other while some cooked. As soon as she entered the room she ordered them around for a few things and then asked me to come into the room and talk aboiut Craig with her. Two seconds later she was in there on the phone and when I didn't come in immediately she and her bodyguard (Kast) were in there - him entertaining her until she called the others in there. In the end they were all in Camillo's room entertaining her and left Camillo (who was cooking) and I (who she has no authority to order to do anything) out sitting by ourselves in the living room and kitchen. It was her own private party - and I wasn't invited. In fact the only person I was invited by was Camillo and he was cooking. I told him I would like to leave and he got upset at the possibility. He (under his breath) asked me not to leave. So now I'm bound here not by my own will but by that of the cook and my great friend (Camillo).

Earlier I found out through Tony that Hui is married. Craig has been spending a lot of time trying to get Hui to go out with him. Cat and I have been helping him in the process. I have asked Hui multiple times what she thinks of the idea and whether she has a boyfriend - to which she has not responded and responded int he negative (respectively). When I found out from Tony I asked the boys as soon as I could. They tole me it was true. When I told Camillo I was upset about it he got defensive - who told me? It's none of your business. So what, she's married. What's the big deal? Maybe I'm married with three kids. Congratulations but you haven't lied to me. She lied to me. That doesn't make me happy. Then he proceeded to call me a multitude of different names to try and snap me out of it - child and stupid being the main ones.

I don't want to be here. I know that door is closing me out. It's like a barricade anyone can cross but me. I don't like this.

Note to self about the above: next time you feel the need to go home, Go Home!

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