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Published: November 18th 2014
I stood on the sidewalk, neck craned, staring up at the brilliant blue sky that had nary a cloud in sight. A gentle breeze ruffled my hair and I loosened my scarf in the warm temperatures of the beaming sunshine. I was suspended in a state of quiet disbelief, given the fact that I was standing on the sidewalk in the middle of downtown Beijing. Had China's notoriously bad pollution really improved so considerably in the three years since I left? No, current circumstances are quite the opposite, with 'airpocalypse' now being a popular slang word around Beijing. The reason for the improved air quality was much more pragmatic: the Chinese government was hosting the 2014 Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation conference and had ordered all factories in the nearby vicinity to be shuttered. Half of the cars in the capital were ordered off the road. All government agencies and schools were put on forced holiday. And, perhaps most incredibly, the heating supply for the entire city of Tianjin (a mere 25-minute train ride from Beijing) was shut off during a period when overnight lows are forecast in the 30s.
Oh, China. It's good to be back.
Before you jump to
conclusions, I should clarify that I am here for a brief ten-day work trip, during which I will visit the cities of Beijing, Harbin, Jiaozuo, Luoyang, and Shanghai (for those mathletes among you, that's approximately two days per city and a whole lot of travel). In June, my boss announced that he had taken a position at another university and would be leaving right before our busiest period. I assumed the role of Interim Director of the Training Program in addition to my normal duties as manager and dove headfirst into new responsibilities and challenges (which may explain the radio silence of this blog for the past few months). It's been an incredibly fulfilling past few months and the icing on the cake has been this opportunity to return to China after a 20-month absence. I am visiting Chinese universities who have sent training delegations to the University of Minnesota in previous years in order to indicate our desire and willingness to provide training for new cohorts in 2015.
This trip marks the third time I've returned to China since leaving in early 2012. Each time I return, I marvel at the changes that have taken place both within
China and within myself, corny as that may sound. Tiny holes-in-the-wall around the capital that I used to frequent have been replaced by gleaming monstrosities that bear no local flavor or charm. The cars on the streets of Beijing are primarily foreign luxury mobiles that have been slapped with a 200% import tax. The handbags that dangle from the arms of fashionable young ladies bear names like Louis Vuitton, Prada, and Coach, and I doubt they were purchased in the same basement shops of the local fake goods market where I got mine. China is changing as income levels rise, and not altogether for the better. Security was never a big concern during the days of bicycles and Mao suits, but as China has become an increasingly prominent actor on the world stage, the Chinese government has been keen to stamp down on any perceived threat to one-party rule. Take the APEC conference, for example. The government sent swarms of police officers on the streets of the capital (which seems the right action to take, given the arrival of world leaders). Additionally, however, thousands of elderly volunteers have been mobilized to patrol neighborhood streets and report any suspicious behavior--suspicious being
an adjective interpreted broadly.
One thing that has remained the same is the warm welcome, generosity, and hospitality extended to me by the university partners I have chosen to visit. Never have I felt so cherished and looked after as when I am a guest at a Chinese university. One may assume that some of the fawning and flattering is for show, to give 'face' as it is described in Chinese culture. However, most of it feels genuine to me and is sincerely appreciated. Relationship building is an integral part of both business culture and Chinese society, and this is a skill I have had to cultivate over the past 10 years of life in and travel to China. In addition to remembering the correct seating arrangement during a lunch banquet (the host should never sit with his back to the door), to accept a business card with two hands (one hand indicates a cavalier attitude toward the relationship, or perhaps too much time in the West), and learning the elaborate art of toasting (make sure your glass is lower than the glass of the person you are toasting; toast guests in order of rank), I have been fine-tuning
my cultural empathy and attempting to tamp down my inclination toward ethnocentrism.
This fall, I began a master's degree program in Comparative and International Development Education at the University of Minnesota, with an anticipated graduation date of spring 2016. My most interesting class to date has been on the topic of intercultural education and understanding. As part of a class exercise, each student completed an evaluation of our attitudes towards other cultures as compared to our own. I was shocked to discover that my own attitude tended to be inclined toward an ethnocentric viewpoint. This means that I tend to view other cultures from a more critical viewpoint, comparing them with my own culture, versus viewing another culture as a stand-alone idea and as merely 'different' instead of better or worse than my own. Through this class, I have also learned that intercultural understanding is not increased by mere exposure to another culture or even immersion in another culture, as I experienced with the four years I spent living and working in Beijing. Instead, one must actively strive to learn and grow in order to construct a new perspective from which to view the world.
It is with
this idea in mind that I arrived in China on this most recent sojourn. Although the little things that used to so irritate me about life in China (the constant spitting, pushing, cutting line), still do tend to raise my hackles, they are also now viewed more academically. When I notice myself feeling bothered about some perceived infraction, I am able to frame that feeling with the knowledge that I am viewing the situation from my own experience and upbringing as an American in the United States, and now do try to inject an element of cultural empathy to the situation. I am not always successful, but I think a process such as this may take time, and time is on my side.
In addition to my newfound revelations about the way I view China (and, to some extent, the world), I have been thinking a lot about how relationships develop, both romantic and platonic. Coming back to Beijing has been like coming home. Many of my good friends are still here and it has been wonderful to have a meal together, catch up, and laugh, just like old times. It is as if no time has passed. These
deep and abiding friendships are one of the most amazing and tangible benefits about life abroad, at least for me. The shared experience of being an outsider (especially as a westerner in an Asian country), binds people together very quickly, even if we may not have crossed paths in the home country. I also have my Chinese host family, with whom I am as close as if they were actually relatives. I can't help but compare these relationships with those I have been able to find in Minnesota--sadly, the Minnesotan side comes up lacking. Part of the reason may be the increasing difficulty one has as an adult in building friendships after moving to a place where relationships have already been established for decades. If there is one aspect of my life in Minnesota with which I am dissatisfied, I would have to say it would be the lack of close personal relationships, at least as compared to my network in China.
I never realized before how important personal relationships can be to an individual’s level of happiness in life. While I wouldn’t consider myself a loner, I am an introvert and don’t mind spending time alone—in fact, it’s
often a requirement after a long day of interaction with others. Introverts need time to recharge. A common misconception about introverts is that we are socially awkward or inept. That is far from the case. In fact, I think that introverts can sometimes be more adept at reading social situations and offering empathetic reactions than our extroverted brethren. That’s because we tend to enjoy observing more than being in the spotlight. Others are often surprised when I identify myself as an introvert, likely because I can be very exuberant and effusive with others in social settings. However, my Chinese friends are more drawn to what they describe as my ‘quiet warmth’—a description that I like very much.
The reason I mention this is because I often feel that my personality fits in better in China than in the United States. Extroversion seems to be the golden standard of behavior in the west, with continually more outrageous behavior exhibited by movie stars and other public figures rewarded with extensive media coverage and discussions on online forums. This week, however, I felt as though I were building real relationships with our Chinese partners, perhaps because I was taking the time to
listen to their feedback and requests for future programs instead of focusing on making a presentation of our training programming’s merits.
Over the past week, I often joked with my Beijing-based colleague that I should figure out a way to ‘defect’ to China—I didn’t feel ready to return to the U.S. Even now, as I sit at the gate at Shanghai Pudong International Airport waiting to board my flight, I am filled with an inexplicable sadness. In the past, when I visited China I enjoyed my time but also looked forward to returning to my ‘real life’ in the United States. This time around, it feels different. I think perhaps I’m experiencing a strong current of ‘what if’ syndrome. What if I’d stayed? What if I moved back? How would my life be better? How would it be different? When I was preparing to move back to America in late 2011, I thought it would be so easy to move to a new city, make new friends, find a romantic relationship. I’d done all of those things with relative ease in Beijing. It turns out, though, that fulfilling those same expectations on one’s native soil is more difficult. In China, like-minded people (intellectuals, international nomads, sinophiles) are all grouped into one city and often in one area of that one city. It’s easy to find and make friends. But in the U.S., most people don’t understand the experiences I’ve had, nor do they really want me to elaborate upon them. I know that a date is a dud as soon as I’m asked about my time in China and when I begin to share a few details about what it was like, my date’s eyes glaze over. I wish there were a simple answer to these dilemmas, but it feels like all that can be done is to be patient. Patience is not a virtue with which I am readily endowed, but I will do my best. In the meantime, there are the additional responsibilities at work and the added challenge of pursuing a master’s degree while working full-time to keep me distracted.
Ah, reality. I’m back.
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Lee Sorensen
non-member comment
China or U.S.
Americans are, perhaps, xenophobic. We have been told for so long that America is the greatest country in the world, that we fail to recognize virtue anywhere else. I was doing work for Chrysler during the time that it was allied with Mercedes. Workers were encouraged to hop across the pond in both directions to help bond the two companies. Germans were anxious to come, but Americans were more reluctant to go. Equilibrium was never achieved and the two companies separated. Not nearly enough people have achieved the cosmopolitan outlook you have, they are out there; keep looking.