Cabbage Fest 9000

Once upon a time, Boris and Doris the rabbits/hares (whatever, there's only one chinese translation) were living in the Forest of Wu. Life was peaceful. The mornings slipped away with noses in books, intelligent discussions on the inverse perceptions of the past and future, and sweeping generalisations of anything outside the forest. A home-made meal greeted the pair daily; of unleavened tuna, and bread soaked in spring water.

Previously the afternoons had been calm, however, recent events in regard to the lumberjacks, had involved Boris and Doris selling their underpriced souls to young children. "What be the news of Piglet?" asked Geraldine the Frog. "He's 8-foot long." replied Jenny the skunk. "Indeed, tis time for me to inspire myself" quoted Boris.

So he went over to Yurtle the Turtle's house in Dangly Dell. Here he found some friends. But no evidence of anyone who could play over a D7 chord. So he went on his way. Next he found himself in a mysterious part of the forest, such a lush, dense part of the forest. Such strange food to be found. No sign of cabbages. Exotic hamburgers, so-called "smoothies", chips and fresh basil. "Fresh basil!" he cried. "This gives me the strength I need to chance upon my soul once again. And perchance to taste. I must tell Doris."

Meanwhile, Doris was preparing for the winter. The hibernation would be a long one, many cabbages would be required. A house made from cabbages is a well-insulated house. Unfortunately, all the other animals in the forest, including (but not restricted to) the peasants and the millionaire marxists, had already got there first. What to do? Not a single cabbage was left. Not inside nor out. Not in the snow, nor under the hedgehogs.

"So bugger this" said Doris, surprising herself with her foul mouth, "I'm off to full-time work".

Boris and Doris.

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