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Published: November 28th 2006
The Great Wall - JinShaling - Simitai
The two intrepids having a 'wall of a good time'!Well kids - what had saved us heaps of money to date ie. doing our own thing instead of taking the tours with the masses this time proved to be fruitless. The increasingly frustratingly wrong planet guide which we placed clearly too much faith in - told us we could get to where we wanted to go for 15 kwai one way, the hostel tour wanted 110 kwai return, ha we'll show them we thought!
Setting off at some ungodly hour of the morning (albeit Tony was up before us!) we made our way to Donshimen on the subway as the sun began to rear its warming head - transforming a below zero into a comfortable 10 degrees. We found a Minivan to Miyun easily enough - infact it found us and clambered aboard not before we were offered the seemingly obligatory overpriced tour at 350 Y, but got halfway for 10 Y. Countless stops and about an hour later we were packed to the rafters with bags of hay and clearly more people than there were seats, but nevertheless we were on our way. Despite this overcrowding it didn't stop the minivan tout from stopping everywhere along the way
in an attempt to get more passengers on board - some would agree before seeing the state of affairs inside the vehicle and a shake of the head would indicate that even this was a little too cramped for the average Beijing layman. One flat tyre (what was that about too many people?) and 3 1/2 hours later we arrived in Miyun (80kms out of Beijing), meanwhile our enthusiastic bus tout had kindly arranged a taxi for us to JingShaling the beginning of our Wall trek for only 120Y. Ah but we had the 'infallible' advice of the planet guide that there would be a minivan to our destination for only 7 kwai, so denied him his offer and went in search of the mythical beast.
After asking maybe 20 different people the same question at the bus station we were greeted with the same answer - no bus, no minivan, 80km to Jingshaling - taxi is the only option. No bus to Chengde will pick you up here. Surely one of these had to be BS but given the overwhelming number of same answers we finally relented. Armed with our best attempts at salvaging pride but retaining our
defiance we managed to eek a 120Y fare down to 70Y (threatening a return to Beijing - and another day of taxi drivers standing around smoking, hacking and commenting on the lack of business) before the final persistent taxi lady finally agreed to our terms.
So there we were 80km later at Jingshaling with the Great Wall in our sights. After our persistent cab driver kept at us first to pay parkjing for him (sorry mate - tip no. 1 don't park your cab), then to take him on the return leg from Simitai where we would walk to after approx. 10 km of Wall action. Despite several different languages No, Bu ya, bu shir, Niente, Non, Nay, piss off - he finally let us actually climb the wall on our own - god knows how he got past the ticket check point but he did (no doubt that would be on our bill, too along with the park he insisted upon making).
So up we went after fending off another hoarde of touts with a well timed bu ya and an unmistakeable wave away with the universal sign language and we were sweating it out despite the
fact that it was about 10 degrees as we climbed a 60 degree slope in our Russian bolshevik hats towards the wall.
Well wasn't it GREAT this wall, nah seriously it was an awesome spectacle and made that much better by the fact thast you had to work for it. At the Jingshaling end it was definately in better condition than the Simitai end and you could see it stretch off into the distance along mountain ridges and over the horizon seemingly for ever. It was adorned with mini fighting walls within the walls which were used to defend against those bloody Mongolians when they breached the wall and decided to attack the control towers at the end of each section. In places they even managed to knock down the schitty wall - bruddy mongorians (Southpark reference for those of you who wonder what the hell we're on about) especially at about halfway where it was still in it's original state and you actually have to get down off the wall and walk around its crumbling remains.
But geez it was hard work - we counted approximately 1673 stairs before we gave up and concentrated on climbing them
The Great Wall - JinShaling - Simitai
We lost count of the steps somewhere around 1,800. That was about half way. and that was before we'd even reached the peak, but I'm assuming there was equally as many if not more on the way down to Simitai. If it wasn't stairs then it was 'flat sections' ie. bits without stairs that could angle up to about 70 degrees and back down again. Awesome stuff - should have brought a skatey.
Now there are a few rumours that circulate about the wall:
a) it's visible from the moon - well hate to break it to you kids but its about 1 1/2 lanes wide and if viewed vertically it would mean that every single freeway would be more likely to be seen from space than it would (however for all you mystics out there - it does run along a ridge and perhaps that makes it more visible somehow? Perhaps the chinese have better eyesight than us?) - but since the first Chinese astronaut was launched into space as part of the highly successful Russian space tourist program - they have been trying to remove it from the history books.
b) it's all held together by sticky rice - could be true - there were parts of it in stages of
The Great Wall - JinShaling - Simitai
The Wall as it snakes along the ridges
disrepair only attributable to the adhesive forces of sticky rice opposed by the elements and time.
c) it was knocked down by bloody Mongolians - definately true - no more to be said about that one - there were even remains of Mongolians on the wall itself (see photos). And if you listened carefully their gnashing could still be heard. While the chinese try to rebuild the wall -Mongolians inevitably come back and knock it down again (so much for the sticky rice)
So where was I, A long walk along the wall was punctuated by touts at every watchtower who would seemingly make the long trek up the wall complete with their satchels that soldan array of Wall memorabilia as well as the compulsory water and sweet beverages - they pretty much follow you to the next watchtower where another would take up the challenge while they relieved him/her of their post. But the scenery oh the scenery - fan bloody tastic! You'll have to check out the photos for proof - and even they can't explain the panoramas adequately.
We made it to Simitai after about 3-4 hours including a break for lunch (leftover Szechuan Chicken
The Great Wall - JinShaling - Simitai
"Those bloody Mongolians have torn down my shitty wall!" from our cooking efforts the night before) and met up with a Dutch couple one who was a neuropsychologist and the other involved in some specialised form of physics - that eludes me now. Anyway given that we'd ditched our taxi driver for the return leg back at Jingshaling we agreed to share the cab back to Miyun for the connecting bus back to Beijing. We traversed the final section of the wall (another 40Y) and crossed a suspension bridge before it became apparent that our descent to the valley wasn't going to be as straightforward as it seemed - BECAUSE THERE WAS A MASSIVE fLYING FOX TO BE HAD ON THE WAY DOWN!!! Awesome. We didn't even flinch when it was proposed that we all do it and strapped into the harnesses provided in order to traverse the 150m ravine down to the bottom. Did I say AWESOME??
Buzzing we alighted and caught a boat back to reality and were about to jump into our share taxi when guess who shows up? Our cab driver from Jingshaling! Ha, clearly understanding was not in his list of accomplishments to date. So we explained carefully to him once again that
The Great Wall - JinShaling - Simitai
Final glance back from Simitai towards JinShaling we did not want to take him back to Miyun, but he complained that he'd paid for parking and waited for us all afternoon! Yeah right mate. Anyway after what seemed enough sympathy I tried to get into the shared cab only to find old mate blocking the way... What are you gonna do mate - stop the moving train?? Anyway the standoff continued before a small display of force was required to move him from the vicinity of my door, at which point he went and stood in front of the car so we couldn't move (despite the fact that the driver could really have reversed) anyway sensing the fact that this guy was going to be completely unreasonable I jumped in the front and closed the door locking it and suggesting that everybody do the same. The diplomatic Dutch man decided that with his limited Chinese he'd try to reason with the man. Ha good luck buddy!
Anyway with his door still open the Taxi driver placed himself between the open door and the car refusing to budge to let him close the door and got fairly heated (I must admit this is pretty uncharacteristic for the
The Great Wall - JinShaling - Simitai
"Are you sure this will hold? It's not made out of bamboo... right?" Chinese) demanding that we get out of the car and go with him. The reasoning continued in broken Chinese for what seemed like an eternity before he demanded 30Y for his troubles, otherwise he supposedly wasn't moving - and by this stage he'd gathered all his fellow swindling, tai-chi practising, taxi driving cronies to glare angrily at us through the window. Sensing that it could get ugly we finally relented and paid 20Y safety money and we were on our way not before he roared past us on the way out. SCARY!!! 😉
Well anyway we made it back to Beijing without further incident apart from a lengthy traffic jam on the outskirts which made our already long day unneccesarily longer but hey we'd done it - we climbed the wall.
Back at the hostel a Tony Wu party awaited us. All you could eat and drink - all I had to do was go around with the Russian Bolshvik hat and make a collection for more beer. Anyway we were hustled out of even more money by the Wu-ster, in the course of his tricks and games - but this seemed like a more worthwhile cause somehow...??!!
We turned it in as one of the older patrons of the establishment complained about the merriment (why would you stay in a hostel?) and turned it in before everything turned into pumpkins.
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