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November 12th 2006

Published: November 28th 2006

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Nunny

Beijing

Being inducted into the Red Guard wasn't easy especially as Andrew found it hard to keep a straight face on the parade ground.

Arrived in Beijing at about 10:30am to a certain chill in the air that wasn't really present in Xian. All the billboards were proclaiming the sucess of the recent Sino-African conference with its much lauded and oft repeated goals of friendship, peace, cooperation and development (yes we'd memorised them by now😊 We jumped straight on a shuttle bus that dumped us on the side of the road in Donzhimen, somewhere in downtown Beijing, before procuring tickets and hopefully jumping on the right line that would take us to our hostel.

Well safe enough we alighted at Changchunjie before having a brief hesitation at which way was east, before finding our hostel easily enough. Sure enough Mr Tony Wu was just walking out the drive to greet us. On his way to pick up some veggies for the lunch he was about to cook us. We dumped our stuff in the dorm of about 12 people and met a Swiss girl Gaia who showed us the trick to opening the bathroom door (very important) and her routine of what she called 'contact juggling' which she performed on the streets around the world - very graceful, very impressive! Tony served up a

Beijing

Nunny cant resist a cartwheel in Tianamen Square - unbeknownst to the red guard who allow no other forms of foolish behaviour in the square

storm and made us the envy of everybody else that was just getting up for the day.

After lunch we decided that we'd make a beeline for Tianamen Square (to see if there were any student protests going on...😉 So jumped back on the subway and did the old switcheroo at the exchange station where, due to the sheer amount of passengers - they employed a police woman to act as a human ram forcing everybody into the carriage whether there was room or not - so like sardines we endured the next two stops before using my backpack to its full advantage to get out of the stuffiness.

Tianamen Square is supposedly the largest square in the world and upon first glances it doesn't look like it would live up to this stigma - but there is a great thumping mausoleum dedicated to Mao Tse-Tung stuck right in the middle of it which kind of splits it in two - on the other side of the tomb is yet another expanse of square. Before Mao passed away (ie. no mausoleum for you people with slow connections) it would have been HUGE!! and standing on the verandah above

Beijing

Ricko has a little word to Mao about some of his policies...

the gates of heavenly peace and looking out over my massive army surely would have given me a thrill. Inside the mausoleum you can join thousands of other chinese tourists and locals who file past the embalmed corpse of Mao - definately something on the agenda, given that we missed seeing Uncle Ho in Hanoi (he was in Russia for 'maintenance') however it would have to wait for another day as he is only available to visit in the mornings - before he goes back into the deep freeze.

Well we were like little kids when we got there (well at least Nunny was) all she wanted to do was a cartwheel in the square, meanwhile I was warding off touts and hustlers (but after Tony - they were easy!!😊 who were trying to sell assortments of trinkets but primarily - clicky little magnets that made a cool sound, mao watches, mao hats, kites and olympic mascots. It appears that the favouite national pastime after bartering, asking people how much they paid for something, hacking, staring, talking incredibly loudly on mobiles and looking into your wallet to see how much money you have, is indeed kite flying - a

Beijing

Kites fly in front of Mao's Mausoleum

much more desirable pursuit. The young and old love it and the kites seem to get more elaborate the older you get - to the point where the antique gentlemen seem to have some kind of fishing apparatus strapped to their chest to reel in line that you might find on a shark boat connected to a massive colourful parachute like dragon or something similar. AWESOME. There were plenty of these bloke out and about in the square that afternoon as well as young kids with strings on little kites and every thing in between - even a bloke with a leaf that he'd tied to a piece of string for a low budget option...

We got our obligatory photo with Mao's massive head - almost comparable to Richards' massive head - framed in gold and hanging above the gates of heavenly peace. It almost seemed as if he had those eyes painted on that followed you everywhere - wierd... Checked out the massive Chinese flag that buffetted in the icy wind, and managed to time it well enough to see the flag ceremony performed by the members of the red guard. Which was a tad disappointing given the

Beijing

Both of us in front of the Gate of Heavenly Peace - Tianamen Square

way it is hyped in certain travel guides (especially the guy chewing gum on parade!).

However we were not at all disappointed by what happened to us next - when it really started to get cold and the furry commie hat men appeared out of nowhere, replacing the former day wear brigade - and we were able to get some of those furry dog-ear hats for a bargain price! Not before the unheard of... we even managed to get a photo in our former soldiers hats with an obliging member of the red guard! Now various sources have told us that it is actually illegal to do this but I'm sure he just couldn't resist (and neither could we) - as every other local was laughing at us in our new attire. Luckily he was forced to remain at attention so couldn't see the stupid expression on Andrew's face 😊

Stoked with our million dollar shot, we jumped back on the subway where about 200 chinese locals mobbed us, laughing at our ridiculous headwear, and another 10 or so struck up a conversation with us one woman just couldn't stop laughing and even tried on the hat with

Beijing

Nunny demonstrates step one of how to go about getting embalmed

a big broad grin on her face - surely you've seen these hats before, but possibly only on soldiers?? Anyway pleased with our rediscovered celebrity status, we returned to the hostel and met the rest of our roommates who had finally woken up, before we decided that we would turn it in ourselves - so that we could get up in the morning for our appointment with Mao and the Forbidden city the next day.

DAY TWO - 12TH Nov- MAO & FORBIDDEN CITY
Mao's mausoleum was first on the agenda - definately a wierd kind of place. Throngs of Chinese bought these yellow coloured roses to plant at the feet of a giant plastic/wax Mao sitting resplendent in his oversized chair in the foyer. Was this it? Surely not Mao was definately larger than life but this bloke was the size of a bear... We followed the flow downstream which lead us into another room with a modern day sarcophagus made from plexiglass, surrounded by another crowdproof cell and monitored by seriously stern looking members of the guard who didn't seem to phased by the people elbowing me in the ribs to get a closer view of

Beijing

The coundown is on...

their infamous leader, but any sign of disrespect (ie. a smile at the ludricrosity) and they were onto you... Mao looked a bit like something out of Madame Tussaud's lying prone with a hammer and sickle flag cosily but neatly draped over him. And before we knew it we were back out in the sunshine flanked by Mao souvenirs and touts on all sides. Cool...??!!

The route to the Forbidden City took us through the Gates of Heavenly Peace underneath Mao's eternally watching portrait and through a series of immense Sino buildings before we were prompted to purchase a ticket. Meanwhile we had been drawn in by a guy selling magic rings with which he could do almost anything - Andrew had a go but failed miserably providing as good an excuse as any not to purchase. Ever the opportunists we also managed to acquire a Chinese flag that a little kid had clearly dropped, adding nicely to the Commie Nunny persona we had been developing along the way (just for you Mont).

Entering the Forbidden City it would be easy to believe that scaffolding was the standard ornate architectural style of the Ming (or was it Qing?)

Beijing

Papa Mao and the commie kids send their regards...

Dynasty, but with the games only 6 hundred odd days away it was clear that the FC refurb was well on the way for the big show. We checked out some of the impressive cultural relics from bygone emperors including weapons, instruments and uniforms before discovering a well hidden Starbux?? within the walls of the city. Ha, clearly the ancient empire was as sick of the dodgy local coffees as we were (they do make a damn good tea though). It must be noted that we supported the capital revolution only through dire NEED. Perhaps due to excessive caffiene or delirium at the sheer amount of people, being guided sheeplike about by tourist guides, Nunny transformed during our breif respite and curling her map into a makeshift megaphone and holding her red chinese flag aloft she guided a lagging Andrew towards some of the cultural highlights, reading aloud each inscription and direction at a competitive volume. We paid more money to avoid the tourist masses and go and see the west wing of the FC where nine different coloured dragons were tiled on a long wall, and the bedrooms, jewellery collections and gardens of the emperors concubines were situated. There

Beijing

Pancakes Beijing stlye - served fresh at the doorway to our hostel.

was even a very small well where it was reputed that a famous concubine had died, however it was doubtful as to how anyone could have fit down such a miniscule hole.

Back out into the masses and we discovered a four star toilet/restroom (only for the fellas mind you) and some impressive stone gardens, pagodas and trees, before popping out the other side back on to the busy streets of Beijing. In search of a cool beverage we managed to wander too far afoot finding only a super dumpling shop that soothed our growing appetites temporarily before jumping on a bus that dumped us (unbeknownst to Andrew) in the middle of Beijing's shopping district - Xiamen! While Andrew tried to find some shoes that fit him Michelle tried to find some jeans. Both attempts were unsuccessful and many suppressed giggles were had at this stange man with size 13 feet??? (Aren't you guys home to the world's tallest man?) We picked up some groceries in order to return the favour of dinner to Mr Wu, and retraced our steps about 10 times before finally locating the elusive subway station.

Negotiating peak hour with a backpack and 2

Beijing

Mr Tony Wu recently inducted into the 'Bloody Aussie' Hall of Fame

bags of groceries was interesting, but we managed to offend only a few people, before making it back home to find Tony was fast asleep (he was pretty old you see, and an afternoon nap was a common occurrence 😊 Nonetheless we cooked up some Szechuan chicken and noodles and force fed him at least a mouthful before he and another local girl proclaimed that it just wasn't Chinese. Whether a reflection on our cooking or the Aussie version of Chinese food I'm not sure, but we enjoyed it. We sent the old man back to bed and carried on for a few more minutes with the other kids from the hostel before indeed it was our bed time - not before we hatched a plan to a) climb the Great Wall tomorrow and b) have a party at the hostel upon our return. Sweet Dreams.

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