Beijing

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A city the size of Belgium, the population of Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, the Republic of Ireland and a few more combined. It took us over an hour to get from the train station to our hostel. Both are apparently central.

It's also a bit different from other parts of China, a bit more edgy. The people in more of a rush. I was even punched in the kidney by an old woman trying to get past me!

We went to see the usual sights; Tian'anmen square, the Forbidden city, the Summer Palace, Olympic Stadiums etc.

We also went to the Great Wall, it's over 3,000 miles long, but the more accesible parts are around Beijing. In an effort to avoid the tourist masses we headed out 100 miles from Beijing, we'd been extremely lucky as every other day in Beijing had been foggy. But the day we went there were clear skies, sunshine and a real crisp feel to the day. It felt like a real privilege to be able to climb up onto the wall, something we've always wanted to do.

Portions of the wall were restored and others left to go to ruin. The ruins are pretty dangerous, but much more fun to climb, and authentic to look at.

We also went to see the body of Chairman Mao, It was a wonderfully Chinese experience. The concept of queueing is a new o in China, so it's little surprise that the older people find it harder to grasp than the youngsters.

But queue they must, though it doesn't stop them from pushing, shoving, shoulder barging and generally cheating to get a few places ahead. They're all doing it, so in the end, everyone end up in roughly the same place. Except however, if you are a European, and then you're done for. Queueing politely and for the Brits, this is a real problem) will see you lose about 200 places in this queue.

So we joined in with the pushing and shoving, we chose a marker of a particularly feisty old lady in a paisley jacket. We'll call her Paisley.

Anyway, ten minutes into the queue and Paisley had managed to gain a good three feet ahead of us, so we upped the game, slid in between a couple who had momentarily lost sight of the great competition, and then shoved passed an old man much smaller than Rhian. We were back in the race.

Hanging onto old Paisleys coat tails we progressed further, but not before Paisley enlisted a mate to block us at the turn.

Half an hour in ad everyone knew we were in the game, they smiled at us, but we knew our element of surprise was gone. We certainly managed to move up the queue though, and we passed a French family who had stuck to their morals, but looked completely bemused.

At the next turn all hell broke loose, a queue policeman (they exist!) had gone awol and people simply tarted running up the outside of the line, we joined them, passing Paisley and her didgy but strong hip, and we rejoined the queue just before the next queue policeman. There was a bit of a crush at this point, but when we looked back, Paisley was a good way back.


A few more feet though, and Paisley dropped a shoulder, slid in and was suddenly in front of us! he even turned to give us a toothless grin. We jostled some more, but couldn't get passed her.

Then I struck up an evil plan. At the next moment we stopped, I'd put my foot on the back of her shoe in an atte,pt to wrench it from her fot, surely he'd have to stop and put it back on.

My moment came, I stood on her heel and hoped I'd judged it right, whilst waiting for the crowd to surge forward again. When the moment came, Paisley expertly slid her foot forward and moved on. She knew! The game was up, Paisley defeated us, a worthy adversary, with much experience.

Mao's body had been embalmed and kept in this building for all of China to come and see it, for an hour and a bit of queueing, you get to walk passed the body for about 15 seconds, Though if you're Chinese, you will get less because the police will punch and shove you away because you're moving too slowly.

The final shock from China was Peking Duck. I've had it many times at home, and in Cayman, All the guide books tell you that you absolutely must try it in Beijing (or Peking if you prefer). What the books neglect to tell you is that the whole duck is deep fried and brought to you on a plate covered in more fat than Rik Wallers face cloth, and the duck head is split in two and presented alongside the sliced up meat. Though the eyeball has burst during the frying, you still get the sense it is Peking at you when you're eating it's body.

You need more than plum sauce to take that taste away.

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