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Published: December 18th 2007
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Island bliss
Bar on the front beach of Bamboo Island Soon after arriving in Sihanoukville and meeting up with Jonty and Lou, friends that Greg and Gem had met in Bolivia, we headed down to Serendipity Beach to find ourselves a feed. I could immediately tell that this would wind up winning the title of my favourite place in the world to dine. A string of restaurants ran all the way along the back of the beach, and each had their dining area set up on the sand. There aren’t too many better things in life than kicking back in a big comfy chair with soft, white sand between your toes, watching the waves lap at the shore while tucking into a massive and delicious AUS$3 beef coconut curry with an AUS$0.50 beer to wash it down.
The only sore point in a near perfect introduction to the town came when I went to relieve myself after dinner. As the only toilet at the place was occupied and nature was calling loud and clear, I couldn’t see the harm in wandering into the trees behind and doing my business under the cover of darkness. The plan was good in theory but exceedingly poor in execution. After carelessly neglecting to survey
Location, location, location
The front beach bar with a view the ground over which I was about to walk, I stepped off the concrete paving only to find myself knee deep in raw sewage sludge moments later. In a fit of shock I leapt out of the cesspit as fast as I could, leaving my beloved thongs embedded in the mud beneath its foul, murky depths.
What swept over me next was an almost out of body experience. Those thongs had been with me through twenty four countries and I wasn’t about to let them suffer such an horrific fate. Demonstrating mind over matter, I desperately started trawling the bottom with my hands to find the treasured footwear. The look on the girl’s face as she emerged from the toilet, having just made her own contribution to the cesspit, only to see me on my knees fishing about it in with both hands, was an interesting mix of shock, disgust and amusement. I was not distracted though, and moments later both thongs had been recovered. When the dish boy came round and saw what had happened, he was quick to identify the medical emergency at hand, and began pouring saucepans full of water over the contaminated areas of my
Make yourself at home
Couches on Bamboo Island front beach body. After going down for a thorough wash in the sea water, I went back to the table, resumed my seat and pondered what sort of hazardous wastes I had been exposed to.
The next morning I headed back down to the beach to lie in the sun while I waited for the host of bacteria and parasites I had encountered the night before to start ravaging my body. Fortunately and miraculously, no discernible negative symptoms appeared. My immune system must be in red hot form at the moment. After a few days on the beach with Greg and Jonty, my frisbee and waboba skills were red hot also. Waboba is a type of ball that produces all sorts of wacky angles and deflections when skimmed off water, and is excellent tool with which to sharpen one’s reflexes and slips catching. If someone doesn’t already have the import and distribution licence for them in Australia then I’ll be throwing my hat into the ring as soon as I return. Every kid in the country, be they seven or twenty seven, will want one.
One is never left wanting for anything on Serendipity Beach due to the hundreds of
Follow the yellow sand road
The path through to the back beach kids walking up and down the sand trying to sell you sunglasses, fruit, wrist bands, massages, and everything else in between. With quite a deal of beach time coming up, one service on offer that did appeal to me was the waxing. Well, it wasn't actually waxing, but rather some sort of innovative hair removal technique using nothing but cotton thread.
Interested to know more, I secured the services of a girl to do the job on my back. Initially she quoted me five dollars. When I took off my t-shirt and revealed my shag pile rug however, she realised she was going to have to call in some consultants to assist, and therefore upped the quote to seven dollars. A couple of minutes later she had assembled a crack team of hair removalists, and they began hacking their way through the thickets on my back. Though they lost a few good men along the way, the campaign was a success.
The serene tranquility of Serendipity by both day and night was put under significant strain the following day when the USS Essex docked in the Sihanoukville port and the crew were whisked ashore for shore leave. More
Tropical paradise
First sight of the back beach from the rainforest accurately, it was blown asunder. I was initially trying to keep count of the number of loud boasts of colossal genitalia made by some buffoon wearing Naval issue budgie-smugglers, but the task soon overwhelmed me.
Once, when Greg and I returned from a swim, we found Jonty, Lou and Gem all with horrified looks on their faces. I assumed the cause to be yet another of the abovementioned boasts, but found that their horror actually arose from an exchange between one of Uncle Sam's finest and one of the young Cambodian girls who walk up and down the beach trying to sell fruit. Apparently the former had been affronted by the latter having the gall to try and sell him some pineapple, and responded by saying “do you see this big bottle of beer I am drinking? It cost me more money than your parents make in a week.” What a magnificent ambassador that young man was for his country. I was impressed that he was acutely aware of the negative reputation Americans have in many parts of the world, and that he was doing his utmost to remedy it while representing his country abroad by being especially diplomatic
Not a soul in sight
Looking right up the back beach and sensitive. I only hope our own armed forces are doing us in Australia so proud.
I myself only had one exchange with any of the Naval personnel, but it was pretty priceless. Late one afternoon Greg, Jonty and I were playing a bit of waboba, when Greg put a bit of extra zest on one of his throws and it went well past me, near where two of the Seamen were standing in the water. As they hadn't seen it, I made my way over to where the ball was to retrieve it. Apparently they were suspicious of my motives, as one of them said "we are not gay." I hadn't even made eye contact with them by this stage but figured they must have been talking to me as there was no-one else around. "Excuse me?" I enquired. "Neither of us are gay" came the response. If there weren't hundreds of their naval pals up on the beach who were positively gagging for any excuse to throw a punch, I may not have fought the temptation to say "But of course you're not. If you were you never would have signed up for a career in the
Plenty of room for all
Looking left up the back beach US Navy, on a ship with no women and hundreds of sex-starved men." Instead, I exercised discretion and just said "oh, OK... ummm... congratulations... well done..." before slowly backing away.
With Jonty and Lou leaving town the following day, Greg, Gem and I decided to head out to Bamboo Island to escape the naval throngs. The island was about an hour off the coast of Sihanoukville, the accessible parts of which consisted of one 'front beach' where the bungalows, restaurant and bar were, and one 'back beach' which was a ten minute walk away through thick rainforest on the other side of the island. As the photos show, it was your classic island paradise.
While the two days we spent out there were blissful, there is very little to report from our stay simply because it was so sleepy. The days were spent either lying out in the sun, swimming, snorkeling, or sharpening up our frisbee skills, before a night of cards and then bed at 10PM when the generator was turned off and the power went out. In some ways it was the complete antithesis of Sihanoukville during the shore leave for the personnel of the USS
Magnificent
Sunset from the back beach on Bamboo Island Essex. While we only had one more day in town after returning from the island, we were most relieved to see that that ship had sailed.
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