Cambodia - lovely jubbly

---

Hi guys! Glad you've found the time to check out the latest installment of adventures. I know it's been a while since my return now but i've only just been able to get round to writing the blog! Anyway, before i begin i'll apologise for the state of these entries. I've been doing so much that i've barely been able to sit down and give this blog the time it deserves so some of the stories might be a bit jumpy as i'm writing from the journal i wrote whilst i was away. The memories are a little hazy but i'm sure after slingin out one or two of these entries the haze will ift and they'll make for better reading. Anyway....

So the time of year came again where i buggered off for a stupidly long amount of time from work, travelled the globe and report back my findings to you lot. Kind of like a Philleous Fogg andventure but without his trusty pal Rigadon.....

Well, without further ado, i'll begin.

This years adventure started out far from dull. On the 21st November i had a few flights to catch in order to drop me off at my first port of call, Pnom Penh (capital of Cambodia). The saga began before i even got to the airport. I'll explain.....

Mr Williamson had kindly agreed to give me a lift to the airport and had stuck true to his word to arrive on time at mine so we could get cracking on the route to Manchester. There we were in his Silver Mario cart (VW Polo) travelling somewhere close to Mack 1 down the M6 when a little problem reared it's ugly head. The temperature light came on, at which point the temperature gauge promtly shot off the end of the scale forcing us to pull onto the hard shoulder. It was looking doubtful that we'd be able to limp our way to the airport on time for me to be able to catch my flight. However i didn;t loose hope, you see i had an ace up my sleeve. A knight in shining armour if you will, or should i say a McKnight in a shiny Audi. You see, Mr McKnight, not wanting to be outdone by the Blackpool contingent, had also offered to give me a lift to the airport. When i'd explained that Will was already doing the honours he offered to meet us at the airport to say his goodbyes anyway. Luckily for us, at the exact moment Will and I had to pull onto the hard shoulder, who should be in the car behind us but no other than Chris McKNight himself in all of his vorsprung durch technic glory. Not wanting to appear to being an utter bastard i did make the entirely hollow promise to Will to stay with him, hoping that he would actually say 'dont worry about it Jay, you get yourself off to the airport, i'll sort myself out'. Luckily he pretty much did mirror my sentiments although i think he was secretly hoping i would stay and help him out with his predicament. However, before he could voice these concerns i'd dumped my bags in Chris' car and we were off on our merry way. I've not actually heard from Will since so if anyone knows what's happened to him can you give me a shout? For all i know he's probably still sat on the hard shoulder of the M6 about 20 miles short of Manchester airport......

Anyway, from there i had a short flight down to London to get a connecting flight to Bangkok. The Bangkok flight itself was fine but the takeoff was far from normal. Before i explain i'd like you to know that this was a night-time flight as it does have some relevance to the story.
I had been previously told that Thai airways (the carrier i was flying with) were 'back in the day' quite a good airline. No names mentiond (Shane) but i'm afraid the reality is a little different. It was like being sat on an Easyjet flight, with only one main screen (projector run, from a VCR) for the best part of 11 hours. Anyway, i digress.... The quality of the cabin (tip top as you can tell by my description) seemed to migrate to the quailty of the crew in the cockpit, as, on take off, as the planes nose reared up in order to take to the skies, i make no exageration then i say the pilot absolutely SLAMMED the rear of the plane into the runway. Feeling this clunk i immediately looked to the window to get some kind of bearing of just what exactly what was happening. All i did see was that all the lights of London were slowly disappearing one by one and at that moment i assumed the aircraft was doing a barrell roll and were were about to smack into the tarmac and ultimately die. Not what i had in mind as the best start to the trip.....

After the next 10 seconds, convinced of my impending doom, and that my sphincter was about to relax a fraction too much, i came to realise that we weren't headed for the tarmac. We were in fact still headed for the skies. Maybe i had been wrong. Maybe we hadn't absolutely walloped the tarmac. But what of the lights disappearing i hear you cry?! Well, i'm quite embarrassed about that bit. You see, numpty here hadn't realised that i'd been offered a seat just behind the wings. As we'd taken off, the wings had obviously passed over the lights thus obscuring them from view. Oh well, at least i didn't die and the rest of the flight, i'm happy to say, passed without incident however, do bare in mind that if you are offered a flight by Thai airways, one of the aircraft out there will have quite the chamfer at the rear which may affect it's performance slightly. There may also be one seat not far from the wings that has a mild brown stain on it....

So, Cambodia! First impressions? Absolutley mental! A Tuk Tuk ride through the city by night (due to the times of my flight and the lay over in Thailand it was again night time) showed me just how mental life in SE Asia is. Vendors, lit by a single neon light on every street selling all manor of food stuffs (dreid fish? no? A tarantual maybe then? I kid you not), Rubbish laid out in the street eventually being shovelled into a 'garbage truck' via some poor sod and a shovel, men urinating in the street (yes, it is like Blackpool on a Saturday night), so many wires hanging from pilons and telegraph poles it could almost have made a tapestry and 'petrol' stations that were nothing more than another street vendor with large, glass pepsi bottles filled with unleaded petrol. Once the ride had eventually stopped, the bags dropped off at the guest house, and the need to eat had taken hold and forced me away from the rather comfy looking bed, i found out another lesson in SE Asia etiquet. If you wait until the roads are quiet enough to cross you'll be very old and very withered before this opportunity presents itself. You literally just have to walk out and cross when you feel ilke it. But DO NOT RUN! Oh no dear reader, you see, if you do run then the 20 million or so people on mopeds (well, Honda Supercubs anyway) will not be able to gauge your speed effectively and therefore will not be able to navigate around you. A constant speed allows them to judge where you'll be thus allowing them to manouver around you with minimal effort. It is one of the single most bizarre surresl things i have ever done. I'd liken it to starting over the edge of a cliff and that little voice in your head goin 'you don't wanna be doin that pal, looks pretty dangerous to me' and then steppin off regardless and things actually workin out ok. It's bizarre, doesn't make any sense and shouldn't work, but somehow it does. Another point, whilst i'm on the topic of roads, is that i didn't once see anyone waiting at a junction in order to navigate a turn. It would appear that the same rules of crossing the road as a pedestrian, applies when you're in a vehicle, even if this means you have to travel some way on the wrong side of the road before you can actually cross. In the dozen or so tuk tuk rides i took, the first 3 had my heart racing close to it's alotted maximum of 220 bpm minus my age. After that my brain took all the chaos in as 'normal' and i managed to complete a ride will little or no panic seeping into my conscience.

One final thing i did notice on that first night was just how much poverty there was in the country. People looked as though they lived by the roadsides with many sleeping on what looked to be a table with a mosquito net surround. Even at the restaurant where i had my first proper meal there were beggers, women and children mainly, who persistantly asked you for money for a good 3-4 minutes whilst you were trying to eat your meal. It doesn't sound like much but imagine someone standing next to you for 4 minutes saying 'dollaaaaaarr, give me dollaaaaar' constantly and see how you like it!

Despite all this i quite liked Phnom Penh. It was such a change in scenery from anything i'd ever seen i was fascinated by it. I even thrived of being one of the relatively few Westerners there. I liked that when you walked down the street people waved as though you were a celebrity. They were fascinated just because i was white. And had ginger facial hair.....

Aside from the cultural differences i did manage to see some sites in and around the city. The killing fields mirrored a similar experience to the one i had at Auschwitz in Poland. The killing fields as the name suggests is an area of land whereby millions of people were brought to be slaughtered under the regime of the government that was in power at the time. Some horrific deaths took place there. I won't go into all of them because that will make for a very depressive read indeed. Just know that millions of people were killed and buried there and it only happened in the 1980s. And we thought we'd seen the end of mass genocide during the war....

There is also an independence monument which echoes the French influence on the place. Cambodia was once colonised by the french and the independence monument is done in a very french way. Much like L'Arc de Triomphe (spelling?) the monument is an impressive size on what is effectively a huge roundabout at the end of a boulevard. In my ignorance i failed to notice which nation the Cambodians erected the monument to signify their freedom from them. If it was the French, does anyone else notice the irony in erecting a French style monument?

They also have a museum which to be honest is pretty pap but it did lead me to a charming young Cambodian kid (probably about 6) who was trying to sell water outside. I'd already got a bottle so i wasn't in the market for buying but despite this he was still keen to make conversation.
'What's your name'
'Jason'
'Where are you from Jason?'
'England'
'Oh, lovely jubbly!!!'

I was in stitches. Best laugh i'd had in ages. The fact a 6 year old CAmbodian kid knew such and English saying really impressed me. What did they teach these kids? If i'd have seen him again i'd have bought something from him (and you know how tight i can be with my money)!

That evening i'd decided to take in the Olympic Stadium (the stadium produced for the asian olympics that never was). It turns out this was one of the more stupid decisions i'd made in my life. Id managed to navigate myself into what looked like a particularly rough looking area, where lots of people lined the streets and there were very few street lamps. I was also brandishing my Digital SLR camera like a true tourist. I might as well have walked around with trumpets blaring and neon lights flashing alerting one and all to my presence. How on earth i managed to navigate the streets without getting mugged i'll never know. But it was one of the more 'life enriching' strolls i'd ever taken. I got to see real 'backstreet' life in the city. The most striking image was seeing small children on scouring through piles of rubbish in the middle of the street, for something useful. If that isn't real poverty then i don't know what is. People on the dole in the UK think they have it bad. It's nothing compared to these people. We piss and moan when our internet connection isn't working at it's full speed. We moan when the food we order doesn't quite look like the picture we're promised it'll look like. I'm not giving it the 'holyer than thou' speech and i'm not saying i'll never moan about something trivial again, but i will have second thoughts about it when i catch myself doing it.
I'll spare you the other days activities. I think i'll have bored you enough by now. It basically involves a massage at a really posh place for about a fiver ( and no, there wasn't a 'happy ending') and a trip to the local market where they sold all kinds of crap that you don't really want or need!
Next stop Siem Reap! Take it easy gang!

---

Photos

Merry chariot
Cambodian Tuk Tuk

3s Up
This is probably the least number of people you'll find on a moped in Asia!

Killing fields tower
See this?

Skulls
It's full of these.....

I think i'll pass
Not quite what i had in mind for lunch....

Buddhist Accomodation
Bit more plush than what i expected

Cambodian monument
Erected in a very French way....

Ready...
On your marks, get set

3 passengers
Or their equivalent weight in goods it would seem

Locust?
No? Tarantula then maybe?

Local hospital
I think i'll take my chances....