"I practice my heart."

We had a conversation with Ponheary about religion yesterday. I hadn't realized before all the wedding preparations for her niece this week that her family was Muslim. It's not something she makes well-known. I suppose in a country that is 99% Buddhist, being in the 1% Muslim minority has its drawbacks, and there has been persecution over the years. She told us that her family was unusual as Muslims, because rather than living in the communities of only other Cham Muslims, her father lived among Khmers and was an educated man. Ponheary's family is not really observant - I suppose they're Muslim in the way many people are Christian or Jewish, observing a few important traditions and holidays and really getting their groove on for ceremonies like weddings and funerals. She doesn't eat pork or drink alcohol, but otherwise, Ponheary says, "I don't practice my religion. I practice my heart."

The wedding has been the focus for the family all week as preparations were being made and family members from out of town came to stay at the guest house. The wedding festivities began Thursday afternoon and will continue on into Friday night, and we have been privileged enough to be invited to everything. But not only are we invited to attend, Jaz is the bridesmaid. Such adventures we have had in relation to this wedding - and trying to understand what happens when and what we should expect or how long it might last is a completely impossible task. First we were told that we should come to the wedding on Thursday night and the party on Friday night. Then we were invited to come to the party on Thursday afternoon at the bride's family's home. We were also asked to attend the Friday morning processional ceremony when the groom "comes to take the bride" but 7:00 am was too early for us. At one point lunch on Friday was mentioned, but never again after that one time. We were told to go to the party on Friday at 7:00 pm, then it was 4:30 pm, and now we think it might be 4:00 pm. The answer depends on who you ask, and when. Mostly, we just try to be able to get ready at a moment's notice to go somewhere for some reason, and I try to keep my camera battery charged at all times.

And what to wear??? Jaz had been instructed that she needed two outfits, one for Thursday and one for Friday, so Ponheary's aunt made her a traditional sarong and a satin embroidered top to match. Then a maroon silk hooker/prom dress was presented on Monday for her to wear on Friday, so she went out to buy hooker/prom shoes to match. Two hours before the Friday events, Ponheary's sister asked Jaz if she had tried on her dress. "Of course, days ago. you were there, remember?" But no no no, Marina was referring to yet another dress of gold satin, that appeared to have been sewn that morning. Marina and Areni chased Jaz off into her room with the new dress, happily closing themselves in there with her, and noted what adjustments had to be made.

And head covering? Well, as Westerners, we weren't expected to cover our heads, but out of respect Lori and I gave it a go. (Let me just say that it's good thing I don't have to do that every day, because not only do I look ridiculous, but it's damn hot. ) Jaz had to wear a traditional head covering on Thursday, but apparently won't need to this evning because she's been taken off to the salon to have her hair and make-up done. Hair and make-up for weddings is serious business here; I'm sure the length of the false eyelashes denote some kind of status, but I don't know what. I followed Jaz to the salon but left after a while, thinking it would be more fun to see the final result all at once. I hope she gets back soon; I'm afraid she will suffer hairspray toxicity if she stays there too long.

Mim was smart enough to bring a dress, so she's been all set for wedding attire. Steve could get by perfectly well with khakis and a button--down shirt, which he thankfully brought. I was completely out of luck, having brought nothing but a handful of T-shirts and lightweight pants, but Lori and I are close enough to the same size for me to be able to wear some of her clothes, and she generously lent me a sarong, a blouse, a scarf and appropriate sandals.

The wedding events we've attended so far (Thursday afternoon and evening) involved lots of people visiting at the bride's family home while the bride and groom posed for photos with each other and with various family members and guests. There were several costume changes for the bride - first a yellow gown, then pink, then blue - and two changes for the groom. Jaz pointed out that the groom looked like a tortured zoo animal, and she was right. He looked uncomfortable in his his peach-colored satin costume with various pleated skirt-like layers and a cap that looked suspiciously like something you would wear while cooking french fries. He dutifully posed when he had to, but most of the photos involved the bride, not him. And of course we were all invited to have our photos taken with the bride and I was encouraged to get close with my camera to take photos. "American - come here, take picture!"

There was a brief ceremony in the house when the Imam and some men came in and gathered on the floor on one side of the room, chanting and praying and possibly blessing the bride's ring. While this went on, the women around them continued to drinking tea and chatting and again I was encouraged to get closer to the men for more photos.

While all this went on inside the house, outside there was a feast of chicken and rice and curry. While I sat inside and took pictures of the women and children, Steve stood outside and took pictures of the food. And as with all weddings, there were little boys running around raising a ruckus and little girls staring wide-eyed at the bride.

I need to get ready for the next event soon - we leave in either 15 minutes, or 45 minutes, or 3 hours. And we'll be back an hour or three hours or five hours later. And we might eat, or maybe we'll dance, and perhaps we'll do something else altogether. I think Jaz will be standing with the bride, or maybe she'll be sitting with us. She'll probably wear the gold dress,or the maroon dress, or jeans and a t-shirt for all I know. We'll see.

As Lori pointed out, getting everyone to be where they need to be, at the time they need to be there in this country is far more difficult than herding cats, it's like herding blind, developmentally-delayed cats.

Meow.

The collection of photos so far can be found here

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