Bangladesh Day 2 and 3

---

Day 2
I watched as a bus smashed into the side of a rickshaw today. The first thought that crossed my mind was whether or not the man was harmed and then to how the driver would survive without his source of livelihood. It is disheartening to think that all of one’s possessions could be so easily destroyed. My Indian friend Daashan asked me earlier that day if I would like to take a rickshaw to the downtown area. I hesitated, explaining my discomfort in having someone peddle me around and explained that in America, this would be seen as a human rights violation. He appropriately reminded me that if I did not support this man’s business, essentially he would end up a beggar. This is also the attitude Grameen shares. Rather than giving loose change to the beggars, one should instead demand a service, no matter how trivial, in order to encourage a sense of self-worth and productivity. In essence, it is a small way to stimulate the economy rather than perpetuating poverty.

There is a job for everything in Bangladesh. With such an overwhelming population, there is someone simply hired to press the elevator button or hand you a water bottle. Even so, there is not enough work for everyone. Beggars crawl on the ground behind you and naked children cling to your hand yelling “taka, taka.” As a person of privilege, I am too ashamed to pull out my expensive camera; yet, at the same time, I still get frustrated when I am being cheated. And then there are times I feel compelled to pay more for the service, but I know this has caused problems in India because the laborers soon expect these higher wages from the locals as well. It is a difficult line to cross.

Day 3
Nurjahan Begum, the General Manager of Grameen Bank, came to speak with the interns before Muhammad Yunus’ exciting visit. It was refreshing to see a woman take such a major position of power. She asked us if we had any critiques of Grameen, for the Grameen philosophy is if there is a problem, it is the fault of the company and must be fixed. A couple of the interns who had been working for quite some time offered their suggestions. They felt with such a wealth of international student interns, Grameen could more efficiently utilize this resource. The internship focuses more on education rather than working, leaving the interns feeling like they are not leaving as great of an impact as they would like. Daily work consists of visiting Grameen branches, going on week long village excursions to interview borrowers and menial tasks such as data entry and editing documents. While I also agree that since everyone came from such long distances, it is important to be properly utilized, at the same time I understand Grameen’s intention with the internship program. With so many people staying for various lengths of time, it is difficult for them to give us any long-term projects. The philosophy is to understand the principles of microfinance and then apply them to projects in our home countries. Grameen also faces the challenge of being a grassroots organization, meaning the employees are not necessarily equipped to handle a rigidly structured internship program. There is also the language barrier. When journeying to villages, interns must hire a translator and the core work done at Grameen centers around Bengali. Overall, I am simply pleased they have this program and that the supervisors spend so much individual attention on each intern. However, I realize that if I want to meet my goals for this internship, I need to be pro-active and firm about what I want to accomplish each day.

The interns also complained about not seeing the whole side of Grameen. The problems with some of the programs (for instance, the failure of Grameen Danone to cheaply feed the poorest of the poor) were glossed over. “We want to see the entire Grameen, both good and bad,” said a German intern. “This way we can perhaps analyze the challenges and propose some effective solutions.” Nurjahan told us she completely understood our wants and would talk to the staff. However, she also explained that this is part of Bangladeshi culture. When you have a guest over, you prepare them the finest food in the house and hide the aspects of your life that are less glamorous. Covering faults and highlighting successes are part of the national ethos. I appreciated her explanation. I think it is important to understand how the culture works and this again proves the importance of having the locals working with the locals rather than a group of outsiders taking over. There is always too much lost in translation.

Nurjahan Begum then asked us about the village visits. A student from McGill raised his hand and expressed surprise that when he asked a borrower what her dreams were in life and what made her happy, she expressed materialistic desires. She told him happiness was accumulating wealth and living in a home. The intern, expecting an answer such as love, safety or family, was shocked by this seeming value of money above less tangible hopes and dreams. However, Nurjahan explained that this could be partly due to the way the question was phrased and also due to cultural differences. Coming from a privileged Western perspective, it is easy to say money is not the end all, but when you are starving to death, nothing is more important than a full belly. These people live on less than one dollar per day, making one simple meal last all day. When asked if love and family matter above all else, the women would surely agree, and in fact, it is this love for their family that drives them towards the pursuit of wealth; they must feed their family. Once the basic needs are met, then people have the luxury to demand health and an education. There is the belief in Bangladesh that if you have money you have everything; they cannot fathom the notion of a depressed, drugged Hollywood starlet. There is also a different concept of love in Bangladesh. Marriages are often arranged and even if a man falls in love with another woman, he still must provide for his first wife and child. Futhermore, for a woman, love is not as important as creating a family. Nurjahan explained that as a child, she was taught that women should not speak, think or see everything. A happy life means raising children and the man is the first priority. Therefore, as interns, we must realize that concepts are processed and implemented differently in every culture and this must be kept in mind when forming quick judgments.

The topic of the treatment of women in Bangladesh got brought up later that night. All of the interns got invited to a late night party at a nearby hotel. This instantly sparked my interest, for I wondered what partying in an observant Muslim country would look like and what kind of people would be there. The entrance fee to the club was around ten dollars, which for Bangladeshi standards could be an entire year’s income. Walking inside, there were about 35 men and 4 women. The men danced affectionately with one another, which is culturally acceptable even though homosexuality is forbidden, and the few women present wore western clothing and acted overly sexual for Bangladeshi standards.

For me, this sharp contrast between the outside and the inside lifestyles of these women was difficult to reconcile. I talked to my Indian friend later about this, and he explained that it was common for him to pick up girls from their homes in full dress and have them change into their Western garb on the way there. It is as if they live multiple lives, pulled by traditional and modern constraints. In a society that stresses virginity and piety, I wonder what pressures led these women to rebel. In American society, if a woman casually sleeps with a man, they could both depart as equals the next day without emotional attachments. Yet, in Bangladeshi culture, no such agreement exists. When a man and a woman have a one night stand, it is clear that the man is dominant and the woman is exploited. The life her family dreamed for her is ruined and in a sense, she has lost her worth. Therefore, I do not understand what brings a woman to this point? How does she reconcile these diverging identities and what really is real?

Basically, I have very conflicting feelings about women in Muslim societies. On the one hand, walking down the street I feel completely objectified and constantly starred at. Wearing western garments that show so much as the calf makes me uncomfortable, for people are quick to judge and lose respect. Yet, at the same time, while I am treated differently as a woman, I also feel more safe and get the sense that I am being looked after more than in other cultures. For instance, at the club, one man politely asked me to dance. When I told him I did not dance with men, my answer was readily accepted and he instantaneously disappeared. This was refreshing, for when I experienced a similar situation in Italy a few summers ago, my refusal was met with hostility and persistence. So while I resent being treated differently, at the same time I appreciate Muslim men respecting a woman’s physical space. I just don’t understand how a culture who sees a woman as a second priority also engages in such thoughtful behavior.

This raises the question of the feminist’s all-or-nothing ideology. Does equal treatment mean rejecting chivalry? Many feminists see a man who opens the door for a woman or helps her with a heavy bad as a sign that she is less capable. Yet, I think the majority of Americans want both chivalry and equality, and I wonder if this is asking too much. Women want to wear low-cut shirts, but they also be looked at in the eye and respected for their ideas. They want equal pay and opportunities but don’t complain when waiting inside while the man runs out to bring the car around.

---